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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Really scared as neighbour knocking on the door at this time

195 replies

Sinead777 · 19/12/2019 22:19

I’ve recently moved into a new house. My partner is currently abroad with work so it’s just me in the house. I was just having a really relaxing bath, reading a good book, when I heard a loud banging on the downstairs door. Assuming it’s a neighbour (we live in a quiet cul de sac and not sure who else it’s likely to be), but anyway I obviously just ignored as in the bath but he continued knocking. It’s left me really scared/jumpy, sorry to be a dramatic woman making an issue out of what is probably nothing, but isn’t it a bit late to be knocking on people’s doors? Our front door has a large glass panel in it so even if you are on the upstairs landing someone on the door could see you, so I literally don’t even want to come out of the bathroom. Would anyone else find this odd or have I been watching too many programmes about serial killers lol

OP posts:

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/12/2019 15:33

Do you all need a big brave man to help you? errr no, I have freedom of choice, my home, my door my choice, if Im not expecting anyone I need not answer my door.

theSnuffster · 20/12/2019 15:34

If I was home alone at night I wouldn't answer the door but I would look out of the window to see if I recognised them. Mostly through curiosity! If it was a stranger I might talk to them through the window or might just ignore it, depending on how I felt.

AutumnRose1 · 20/12/2019 15:37

LakieLady "I still don't know why they didn't leave it till the morning though."

because then they could have reasonably expected a complaint of "why didn't you tell me immediately" I expect.

draughtycatflap · 20/12/2019 15:40

Hears knock at door.

“Alexa, unleash the hounds!”

Goes back to sipping wine in bath and assumes a neighbour will take in her badly chewed Amazon delivery.

SunshineAngel · 20/12/2019 15:41

I'd just have said "Who is it please?" before I opened the door. It honestly really is that easy.

Warmfirechocolate · 20/12/2019 15:41

Yanbu

It’s normal to be alert to unusual things, like late at night knocking that is quite persistent.

rededucator · 20/12/2019 15:42

OP if it was a burglar you put yourself in danger as they'd assume house was empty.

beautifulstranger101 · 20/12/2019 15:42

I would never heave myself out of the bath just to answer the door to a random person whilst dripping wet in a towel. Ive done this before and its been people selling crap or some idiot doing a survey.
Not doing it any more. (unless I am specifically expecting a delivery that needs a signature).

dayslikethese1 · 20/12/2019 15:43

If you're in the bath and naked you can't answer the door anyway surely I probably would answer otherwise unless it was very late or looked suspicious for some reason but I think it's OK not to if you don't know the person.

ffswhatnext · 20/12/2019 15:45

@Grumpelstilskin
I am surprised as a Londoner you cannot understand why an older person would knock to get help. Getting someone off the floor is low priority.
When I’ve called emergency services and told an hour plus I have sorted out alternatives.

Answering a door doesn’t have to include actually opening the door.

If you’re that paranoid about who might be on the other side, how do you cope when you leave the house?

Drunk person - shout you have the wrong place
Chuggar not interested
Sales person - not interested
Neighbour needing help - ok hang on
Delivery - ok hang on

Very, very easy. If you cannot see through a spy hole then invest in a chain. If you have neither of these why not?

But then I would rather know it was a con man so I can alert other people and let my local police station know.

supersop60 · 20/12/2019 15:49

OP - you ok? Please reassure us that it wasn't a burglar.

Researcher97 · 20/12/2019 15:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AllergicToAMop · 20/12/2019 15:51

Answering a door doesn’t have to include actually opening the door.

Hallelujah

Nat6999 · 20/12/2019 15:51

In the block of flats I live in over the last two years there has been one lady murdered by her partner, armed police came to arrest the man next door for armed robbery, regular domestics from other residents late at night. These are reasons enough why I don't answer my door from teatime onwards.

beautifulstranger101 · 20/12/2019 15:57

Actually, no-one except the paramedics should be getting an elderly person off the floor. I work in care and even we aren't allowed to do it. If the person is injured you could cause further damage to their spine/neck etc. Not to mention you could hurt your own back in the process. If a person has fallen you should ring the paramedics who have a special inflatable device to lift them up off the floor in the safest way possible.

woodchuck99 · 20/12/2019 16:00

You don't have to open the door or to find out who it is. It could be a neighbour telling you you that the garage door is open or something like that. It could also be a burglar but if they're knocking at the door you want to make sure they know you are in.

LakieLady · 20/12/2019 16:07

And why the hell, should anyone get up in the night to push a totally random person's car! Or pick up an elderly person that is apparently too heavy to lift. This is what emergency services are for

Because it's the kind and neighbourly thing to do?

In the latter instance, it's also the socially responsible thing to do if the elderly just needs helping up and isn't actually ill or injured. An ambulance call out costs approx £250, so it's a real waste of reosurces.

nestisflown · 20/12/2019 16:09

@ffswhatnext unless you're a trained medical professional you shouldn't be lifting someone who can't get up off the floor. You could cause further serious damage trying that

itgetshardereveryday · 20/12/2019 16:10

I wouldn't answer the door if I was in the bath either. Usually I go to bed at 10 and I would be pissed off if someone knocked the door after that time. I wouldn't be panicking though.
I have a ring doorbell and cctv I can check though.

itgetshardereveryday · 20/12/2019 16:11

I'd assume someone may need help if knocked at that time though.

LakieLady · 20/12/2019 16:15

because then they could have reasonably expected a complaint of "why didn't you tell me immediately" I expect

True, @AutumnRose1, but she'd died a couple of days earlier and there was nothing I could do until the coroner had issued a Form B, as it was a sudden death. Iirc, they didn't even do the PME until the Thursday (Ma was found on Tuesday, they came to notify me in the early hours of Wednesday). And we lived 150 miles apart.

But yes, they weren't to know that I'm very matter of fact about stuff and not given to complaining. I suppose some people might have minded not being told until morning.

beautifulstranger101 · 20/12/2019 16:16

Because it's the kind and neighbourly thing to do

FFS, its not "kind" to lift someone off the floor causing them further cervical/spinal damage. I WORK in this area and we are told NO - you dont yank a person who has fallen off the floor. The paramedics have specialist equipment to do that and that is what they are there for. The road to hell is paved with good intentions I guess

Pinkginhelps · 20/12/2019 16:59

My neighbour knocked at the door last night. His wife had sent him with a bottle of bubbles and a box of chocolates for letting their dogs out earlier. Happy days!

ffswhatnext · 20/12/2019 19:25

It's not about lifting the person off the floor. It's about sitting with them until help arrives. I couldn't leave an elderly couple distressed alone for hours on end whilst paramedics arrive. And for what it is worth, I do have the training how to manual handle someone from floor to seating. Would have been fucked in a previous job when the equipment broke down.

The last time it was an elderly gentleman who got himself stuck sitting on the floor. He could position himself to use the sofa to pull himself up, but couldn't get from there to standing, and his wife couldn't help. Rather than leaving them getting more upset, I helped. Paramedics would have taken at least 3 hours. He hadn't fallen or anything, he was just trying to pick something up and got stuck.

But when it happens again, I will just tell her, not my problem. Wait for the paramedics. Let him go through the indignity of soiling himself whilst he waits for someone to come along.

AdoptedBumpkin · 20/12/2019 19:29

That is a bit late IMO unless there is a very good reason.

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