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Original poster

‘That’s me done for food today’ after a 3 course lunch

350 replies

Offred2 · 19/12/2019 16:23

I went to a restaurant with four friends for a Christmas lunch a few days ago. We all ate 3 courses and had a glass of wine each (none of us are big drinkers). The portions were decent-sized but not ridiculously big.

As we were finishing one of my friends said something along the lines of ‘that was lovely, I wont be needing anything else to eat today’. Following this all my other friends nodded/agreed.

While I didn’t say anything I was thinking that this is not the case for me at all! After that lunch at 1pm I ate beans on toast at around 7pm. I think of myself as someone with a pretty normal appetite, but if my friends were being truthful I ate a substantial amount more than them that day.

I remember a few years back my MiL making a similar comment after a restaurant lunch, that she wouldn’t need to eat anything else that day. However as we happened to be staying with her at the time I know she later ate sandwich and soup at dinner time.

So - my friend’s comment got me thinking. What do people actually mean when they use this phrase? Is it literal, as in ‘after this big lunch I will not eat any food until tomorrow’? Or do people simply mean that they won’t need to have a big evening meal, but might have eg a sandwich? Or is it something some people (women!) say without meaning it, to indicate they have a small/delicate appetite, though they may have every intention of eating something else that day.

For what it’s worth all of my friends in the restaurant are healthy weights, and as far as I know no one has any history of disordered eating.

OP posts:
Sundancer77 · 19/12/2019 19:40

I couldn’t manage the three course meal in one go..just can’t eat loads in one go, and I have a good appetite..I’d more likely have some, feel full then feel really hungry later on and eat a fair bit

happycamper11 · 19/12/2019 19:42

I'm definitely no under eater but if I'd had 3 courses at 1 I'd likely only want a slice of toast or a couple of crackers and cheese later. I'd certainly not be cooking although I hate cooking so I'd use it as an excuse

bluetongue · 19/12/2019 19:56

I barely ever eat a 3 course meal apart from when I’m on holiday.

Also, being only 5 foot 2 I really can’t eat much food without putting on weight.

CardiFree · 19/12/2019 19:57

I wouldn't be able to eat in the evening after a three course lunch. I normally can only manage two. Nothing competitive about it. It's a fact.

Maybe a pre-bed hot chocolate and a biccie?

IHaveBrilloHair · 19/12/2019 20:02

It's unlikely I'd have another meal, but I'd probably pick from the fridge, a few pieces of cheese, some crackers, or maybe some nuts or whatever.

PleasePassTheCoffeeThanks · 19/12/2019 20:04

Oh wow at some answers! I am with you OP I would need to eat a meal in the evening regardless you what I have had for lunch.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 19/12/2019 20:06

For me, it is the food equivalent of saying you will never drink again when you have a hangover. If I eat a 3 course lunch, I will be uncomfortable and say 'ah I won't need anything else today!' Sometimes that is true, sometimes at 8pm I'm suddenly starving and need some pasta or something. I can guarantee though, at the moment it is said, I mean every word.

Gillian1980 · 19/12/2019 20:09

I would mean that I won’t need a cooked / large evening meal. I’d usually have something later but just a snack.

ShinyGiratina · 19/12/2019 21:29

My body is pretty good at recognising what it needs. I may well have something light like a sandwich or snacky, not really a proper meal, but that's what OP is doing. It's possible that I might be genuinely done for the day.

Being small, my body isn't generous with what it needs so a three-course meal which tends to occur on a sedentary day with little movement means that my body can take in what it needs in one big meal.

It's not something I'd announce to the group though!

Andysbestadventure · 19/12/2019 21:33

Three course meal and wine would do me for the day. I'd have a coffee in the morning and then maybe a biscuit or something before bed but that would be it.

I'm 5ft6, 16 stone, so I love my food. Just three courses in one go would finish me off and I wouldn't feel the need to eat later on. Not saying I wouldnt if someone was paying for dinner again but otherwise nah 😂

Bluntness100 · 19/12/2019 21:41

I don't get this whole mumsnet "competitive under eating" Phenomenon .

Reading this thread it's like some people are genuinely offended that others can eat a three course meal and be done for the day, other than maybe a small snack. There has to be something wrong with uou it seems if you don't want to come home and stuff youtself again. Of you're just pretending because you're a woman.

And yet when it's the opposite phenomenon , the competitive over eating, then "six donuts is a portion" , people are egging each other on to eat as much Shiite as possible and no one dares post it's maybe not ok because they will get their arse handed to them.

strawberrieshortcake · 19/12/2019 21:59

@Bluntness100 I agree. I think we as a society have very warped ideas of normal eating which is why most people are overweight. A 3 course meal at an average restaurant would be anywhere from 1200-2000 calories so the large majority if not all of what an average woman needs to eat in a day.

It is perfectly normal for someone not to be hungry after that. How is that competitive ‘undereating’? It is normal eating.

If you had a ham sandwich for lunch and insisted you weren’t eating anything else in the day then yes maybe it would be competitive underrating. But I mean after a 3 course meal???

I think people here are projecting so much, everyone has different appetites.

I have never finished all of a three course meal. Not a stealth boast, just can’t eat that much in one seating.

Original poster
Offred2 · 19/12/2019 22:00

@Bluntness100 it’s not the fact that some people are genuinely full after a big lunch and won’t eat until the next day that I have a problem with. It’s more that it seems disingenuous to say you won’t eat anything else that day and to then eat a ‘snack’ which could be anything up to the size of a eg sandwich or bread/soup for instance - which I personally would class as a meal rather than a snack.

OP posts:
My2ndfavouriteFword · 19/12/2019 22:09

I'd still eat dinner. It's probs just competitive under eating.

churchandstate · 19/12/2019 22:11

Anyone watch Masterchef? Mmm.

HeronLanyon · 19/12/2019 22:17

I have never said this after eating lunch (of whatever size).
I have said ‘i won’t need dinner’ but that simply means I’ll have a little something whenever - cheese and crackers - cheese and grapes - some melon etc. There’s nothing worse that thinking you don’t need to eat anything and having trouble dropping off to sleep. I’ve done this and had to get up for late snack before so can get to sleep!
I’ve heard friends of mine saying all sorts of odd things about their appetites etc - usually to do with having a dessert - usually when deciding which dessert to have.

DoIhavetobejolly · 19/12/2019 22:18

@Bluntness100

I don't think anybody, or at least not most people on this thread are offended by the amount others eat or don't eat.

I've known big eaters and small eaters who never made a fuss about how much they'd eaten or what other people had eaten.

There are some people however who go through a whole performance after eating about how they are so stuffed etc, not because they are simply stating a fact but because they feel the need to do a performance around eating in public. Sometimes it's based on guilt or the pressure to look virtuous to others by apologising for what they see as their own gluttony. Or because they've had someone in their past be critical about their eating habits.

In some cases, particularly in families where most meals are eaten together it can be about control and attempting to dictate what other people eat. I've actually seen this happen in person.

It's not the eating itself, it's the performance around it.

icanhearapindrop · 19/12/2019 22:22

I always always have a cooked dinner in the evening, but when I went out for lunch with work, literally every one of them said they would only need a sandwich that night. It doesn’t matter how full I am in the middle of the day, I will still be hungry by the evening! A sandwich just wouldn’t cut it for me!

crosstalk · 19/12/2019 23:06

I love food and love cooking for myself, family and friends. Even puddings (which I never eat). Two courses would be my lot at lunchtime and I'd probably like PPs have a soup or something simple for supper, but I'd never comment either on what other people were eating or virtue signal that I'd had enough at lunch. For all I know the people eating three courses and planning on supper were also fitting in a 5 mile run.

And as a wise PP said upthread, we all have different appetites. We just need to keep healthy.

SamphireSorpresa · 19/12/2019 23:16

I have an irrational hatred of this phase. It detracts from the meal I've just enjoyed. It annoys me that they're already thinking of how they will feel hours later. Also it makes me feel like a heifer because I know I'll certainly be having something later, albeit a light bite.

Having said that, I have probably complained of a bad night's sleep due to too heavy a meal.

I just don't want to know how full your tummy is.

bumblingbovine49 · 19/12/2019 23:18

I might well eat something in the evening after a 3 course lunch but it would just be because I like to eat . I am very fat so I definitely overeat but I know I most definitely would not be hungry in the evening after a 3 course restaurant lunch.

Then again the reason I am fat is because I eat when I am not hungry

furrymulesandPJs · 19/12/2019 23:43

I hate all this competetive eatng shit. I loathe it. Everyone has their own different food needs. If someone wants to go home after a 3 course meal and have a huge triple decker sandwich, why shouldn't they? Or if they genuinely feel stuffed and don't want anything later, again, what is wrong with that??? T each their own. It is petty minded in the extreme to judge other peoples' food choices.

furrymulesandPJs · 19/12/2019 23:45

What we eat is our business. How fat or thin or average we are is our business. No one else's. Live and let live. OP, what matters is that you are happy with the amount YOU eat.

fligglepige · 19/12/2019 23:48

I think it's just something people say. They don't count the calories later that day as they don't really compare to the big meal calories. A bit like how your Christmas night turkey sandwich is nothing really compared to your massive Christmas dinner. Or like how my DH comes home from work starving because he 'hasn't eaten all day' even though he had a fry up and a KFC.

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 20/12/2019 00:26

I suppose the reverse is if you are going out for a three-course meal in the evening, do you eat lunch?

No, though it is highly unlikely I'd be going out for a three course meal, it's too much, but if we're going out to a restaurant in the evening I generally don't eat earlier in the day. Two courses is more likely, restaurant portions are huge, a starter, a main and a coffee is enough for me.