Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed he didn’t bother to use his Christmas present

133 replies

Gherkin14 · 19/12/2019 11:46

Last Christmas I bought OH an experience day at silverstone. It was valid for an entire year and yet despite reminding him throughout the year to book a date, he didn’t go. His excuse being he had booked it for this week but his calendar app recently deleted all its data so he forgot. I feel quite upset as I really thought this was something he would enjoy and feel he really didn’t make any effort to go-we don’t even live far from it. He doesn’t seem to think it’s his fault and is blaming it on an app ☹️

OP posts:
BlastEndedSkrewt · 19/12/2019 11:47

so he booked it & forgot to go or it expired?

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 19/12/2019 11:49

There is always a risk with these things that the receiver wasnt all that bothered. Its a shame but not his fault. How can he politely tell you he didnt want it? Just chalk it up. put out some feelers next time. Better he puts you off before you spend. It is very embarassing getting a gift you dont want

Original poster
Gherkin14 · 19/12/2019 11:49

It expires tomorrow
He says he had booked it for this week but forgot

OP posts:
sar302 · 19/12/2019 11:53

Same here - bought my DH a morning playing with a Tesla last Christmas. He paid to extend the time when the voucher was about to run out, but still hasn't booked!

I've bought him (us) Harry Potter studio tour gift tickets this year. Im going to organise and book the tour this time 🙄

Coralfish · 19/12/2019 11:53

I never buy vouchers anymore for this reason. We had two last year. One the restaurant closed down before we used it(!) and one had very limited dates (one Friday a month) and we ended up swapping it for something not quite as good because we couldn't make it work. It sounds a bit dramatic, but my heart sinks when I get one because it's just more planning and hassle to organise it, especially if we need a babysitter etc. I would rather we were told a particular date to keep free and then given something already booked and paid for, or even cash, with something specific to use it for. Vouchers are a nightmare.

marchingonwithmother · 19/12/2019 11:59

Experience gifts are a nightmare, just don't buy one again. The t&cs take all the fun out of it, I don't blame him for not wanting to go

cooldarkroom · 19/12/2019 12:02

Call them & see if it can be extended, make up some sorry excuse.
Don't give him anything this year

Ozzie9523 · 19/12/2019 12:09

I've had this happen. You can extend them for a small amount normally, maybe that's an option?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 19/12/2019 12:12

If he actually wants to go, he might be able to extend it...

But he's had a whole year and he doesn't seem too fussed by it, so I'd want to be sure he was going to use it before I paid any more out.

I bought this type of thing for a few people once; I tried to make them as easy as possible to use; no added costs and all that, picked something they'd like... most didn't use them. They're a pain really, I don't buy them anymore. It sucks when a present flops, though Thanks

ohprettybaby · 19/12/2019 12:21

My friends bought me a day at a spa including a makeover and photoshoot. I didn't go as I'm just not interested in being pampered to that degree and definitely wasn't going to take 3 changes of outfit for a photoshoot. What was I supposed to do with the photos? Displaying pictures of me just isn't my style.

Sometimes what others think is a great experience really isn't for the recipient.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 19/12/2019 12:24

Tell him to email and ask for it to be extended. I had the same issue with my J and he's gotten his men's afternoon tea extended until the end of Feb

katy1213 · 19/12/2019 12:24

My heart would sink if I received something I had to organise. There's lots of things I'd 'quite like' to do but I hate being pinned down - especially when I'll be questioned about it. Vouchers are always for shops I don't use!

sarahjconnor · 19/12/2019 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 19/12/2019 12:49

Reading between the lines, I would say he couldn't be bothered to go but didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you this.

NomNomNomNom · 19/12/2019 12:49

I do feel since it was a present from you he should have made the effort. That said my mum is always giving me "experiences" that I don't really want and it becomes a real drag. It's a present that just involves effort and hassle for the receiver.

Breathlessness · 19/12/2019 12:51

What Screaming said. If he had really wanted to go he’d have done it by Easter.

Breathlessness · 19/12/2019 12:53

I always shudder when people suggest ‘spa days’ as gifts on here. There are those who would love it and those who would rather undergo root canal work.

nicelyneurotic · 19/12/2019 12:56

I've been guilty of this too with experience gifts. It's not that I dont like experiences, I just find it difficult to find the time and doing them alone doesnt appeal. I feel stressed and pressured to do something I'm not that bothered about.

I think you need to let it go. You cant force someone to enjoy these things, however kindly the gift was meant.

Christmascandle · 19/12/2019 13:02

To be honest I've been guilty of doing this with gifts, it's not deliberate.

I wouldn't be hurt, he either genuinely forgot or he wasn't fussed about going.

Bluntness100 · 19/12/2019 13:04

I suspect he didn't fancy it. I did similar, my husband bought me a spa day, I can't stand anything like that, so I never booked it. I did eventually tell him why.

itgetshardereveryday · 19/12/2019 13:06

I don't like experience gifts. It's something I'd have to organise that I didn't choose myself.
Sorry you're disappointed op.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 19/12/2019 13:08

Solo experience days are just fucking depressing.

When I left a company once, the dept head organised a whip round and presented me with a voucher for a spa day, which I could only redeem at a spa over an hour's drive away and would not have wanted to anyway. Shit, guys, just get me some flowers.

What's galling is that the person I was the most close friend to in the dept had said "Erm, I'm not sure Furiosa is going to want a spa day" and was completely ignored.

This lack of take-up is how companies like RedLetterDay are able to keep their profit margins - they rely on a large percentage of people never redeeming their gift voucher. Same goes for companies selling gift cards (Amazon, Game, Apple, whatever) although to a lesser degree, because it takes less effort to buy a "something" on Amazon or Xbox than to get yourself off the sofa and do something you don't really want to do.

katseyes7 · 19/12/2019 13:15

Someone very kindly gave me a voucher for the Magpie in Whitby as we were planning to go.
Unfortunately my partner was seriously ill and we had to cancel our plans. l ended up giving the voucher to my local small animal rescue to auction off to raise funds.
lt was a lovely idea but as my OH was off work we couldn't afford to go.

Instatwat · 19/12/2019 13:37

DH and I got a joint experience gift from SIL a few years back. She obviously thought it suited us perfectly (it was a cooking thing and we like cooking) but neither of us were very keen so we just didn’t book it. Instead of just not mentioning it, SIL repeatedly questioned us about why we hadn’t used it, until we basically just had to spell out that we didn’t like her gift. All very awkward. I’d advise you to drop it.

KatherineJaneway · 19/12/2019 13:38

Sorry OP but it sounds like he wasn't interested in going Sad