Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed he didn’t bother to use his Christmas present

133 replies

Gherkin14 · 19/12/2019 11:46

Last Christmas I bought OH an experience day at silverstone. It was valid for an entire year and yet despite reminding him throughout the year to book a date, he didn’t go. His excuse being he had booked it for this week but his calendar app recently deleted all its data so he forgot. I feel quite upset as I really thought this was something he would enjoy and feel he really didn’t make any effort to go-we don’t even live far from it. He doesn’t seem to think it’s his fault and is blaming it on an app ☹️

OP posts:
hazell42 · 19/12/2019 13:39

You picked a present. He didn't like it. He was being polite when he said he'd forgotten. If he'd wanted to go he would have gone in January. Or February... March...
You get the picture.
We've all bought presents that bombed.
No biggie

ChocChipWookie · 19/12/2019 13:42

Echoing call them, they should extend it once. Then give it to someone who'll use it.

Doodlebug5 · 19/12/2019 13:43

If its a virgin one uou can change it and extend it. Its great.

We changed my spa day voucher for a few cases of wine.

LittleLongDog · 19/12/2019 13:44

Experience presents are really tricky. They basically put the pressure on the recipient to organise their own present. It’s not everyone’s idea of a good gift.

MrsAgassi · 19/12/2019 13:44

If he was interested he would have used it. He obviously just didn't want to tell you that he didn't like the gift.

Experience days are rarely a good idea!

FuriousFlannels · 19/12/2019 13:45

Someone once gave me a voucher for a day in The Sanctuary in London.

It is so far away from my kind of thing that the thought of doing it brought me out in sweats.

I confess, I Googled it to get an idea of what it was like and then lied to them and told them I'd had the day. I used my Googling to add enough details about it to make it convincing. I then managed to say I enjoyed it and was glad I'd had the chance to go but I wouldn't do it again...

LizziesTwin · 19/12/2019 13:49

My brother gave me a single ticket to GoApe. I was 45 or so. Why? Children were all too short so I’d have had to go on my own. What a waste of money.

Strugglingtodomybest · 19/12/2019 13:51

I feel quite upset as I really thought this was something he would enjoy

Yanbu to feel this, but imo Yabu to be annoyed with him. Just because you bought him something doesn't mean his has to like it or use it.

Butchyrestingface · 19/12/2019 13:54

Presumably he's a racing fan? I mean, I'd rather be dead than spend the weekend at Silverstone but he must be a racing enthusiast and therefore you thought the gift would go down well?

NCasIknowMNetters · 19/12/2019 13:57

DH got me a gin-making day (with him) for Xmas 2 years ago. It's long expired now. Drinking gin yes, having to arrange a day out, including babysitters as it'll run over school pick-up (and I might be a bit pissed and need to use the train back to our town and then will need to walk a couple of miles to get the kids back) = PITA.

I appreciated the gift, it was thoughtful on his part. But now he's put out that I didn't use it (him actually booking it and making arrangements as an idea sort of went over his head)

tried20names · 19/12/2019 13:58

If its Buy a Gift or Red Letter Days he can pay £30 or so to extend the voucher

Ellisandra · 19/12/2019 14:01

Sounds like the calendar thing is a lie.
Just a present that bombed.

speakout · 19/12/2019 14:04

OP if he had wanted to go he woud have used the voucher.

He clearly isn't interested.

Do you want him to do something he doesn't want to do simply to please you?

Beautiful3 · 19/12/2019 14:05

Give them a call today. They should extend it for you. Go with him.

NemophilistRebel · 19/12/2019 14:06

I hate receiving experience gifts for this reason

Londongirl86 · 19/12/2019 14:06

Yanbu but I'm guilty of something similar. When I was heavily pregnant with my first child for Christmas my SIL got us a voucher for a restaurant called Ask and a cinema voucher. Sweet thought but me and my partner would rather go to the pub for a roast and back then I was so uncomfortable that sitting in a restaurant or cinema would of been hell (trapped nerve in my back) we wasted them because after the baby was born we never could get any child care!

Stockmarketup · 19/12/2019 14:07

DH once bought me a day in a spa - I love them. But....... I just couldn’t be bothered to sort out a date and book it and go. It took me nearly a year to get there.
Similarly, we bought DS1 a driving experience thing and it took him the best part of a year to get around to it.
Great in theory, in practice, not so much.

Arthritica · 19/12/2019 14:11

He just didn't fancy the gift and he is trying to be polite.

JaJoJe · 19/12/2019 14:13

This is why I dont buy these for anyone except my young DS (where I can organize it).

truth is really its not a gift as much as an obligation, something they may not have time to do or money to get there or even be something they're interest in.

Minderbinder · 19/12/2019 14:18

Another definition would be: a present that the giver believed was thoughtful, but turned out not to be welcome, so the giver feels slighted at having been wrong.
I used to get tons of presents that I didn't care about. Eventually, I just told people I wasn't interested in getting presents. Not having to pretend gratitude has probably added a couple of years to my (admittedly sad) life.

Honeyroar · 19/12/2019 14:20

My husband can be like this. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, it’s that he’s hopeless about getting his act together and organising things. I’ve learned that I just book it myself for X date and we go. It does annoy me a bit.

Notodontidae · 19/12/2019 14:22

Dont ever by a gift for a man that is open to when they go, or months ahead. Many men work for the now, buy gifts for Christmas on Christmas eve, and are lucky if they remember BD. Dont take it to heart, it sounds like a lovely gift, but with all gifts there is an uncertainty that they will be received in the way you had hoped. Dont dwell on it, you must have been given a gift in the past that didn't receive the attention it deserved. YABU

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 19/12/2019 14:23

I think part of the problem with 'experiences' is that someone might randomly say "Oh, I'd really like to do XYZ" but it's actually nothing but a vague thought, not a true desire. This can be true even with something they really enjoy. OP's DH may love watching F1, but that doesn't mean he would really want to drive one.

therealshakira · 19/12/2019 14:24

Bought my dad wowcher to go paint balling with his mates as he loves stuff like that...this post just reminded me that he didn't book it because he couldn't be arsed to organise a date and now I regret getting him presents this year😂

WaterOffADucksCrack · 19/12/2019 14:24

I obviously can't speak for the OP but I wouldn't feel annoyed if he didn't like the present, these things just happen. I would be annoyed if he didn't at least give it to someone who would use it or donate it to charity as a prize for a raffle or something. Because no the OP has basically thrown money away and nobody has had use or enjoyment out of it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread