Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed he didn’t bother to use his Christmas present

133 replies

Gherkin14 · 19/12/2019 11:46

Last Christmas I bought OH an experience day at silverstone. It was valid for an entire year and yet despite reminding him throughout the year to book a date, he didn’t go. His excuse being he had booked it for this week but his calendar app recently deleted all its data so he forgot. I feel quite upset as I really thought this was something he would enjoy and feel he really didn’t make any effort to go-we don’t even live far from it. He doesn’t seem to think it’s his fault and is blaming it on an app ☹️

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 19/12/2019 22:21

These things are always tricky.
We were given one for a hotel and dinner stay.
When we tried to book we were met with lots of “ I’m sorry , we don’t do that anymore “
Basically, most of the face value of the gift goes to the voucher company and the venues get well below the actual price of the experience. If the venue gets a client prepared to pay face value, you’ll be sidelined.
We’ve even received a voucher that was already used, despite the box being untampered.
They’re a con.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/12/2019 22:52

Dh was given a gliding lesson. He went and thoroughly enjoyed it, but the instructor asked him at the start whether he actually wanted to do this, or was in fact scared shitless and had only come because he'd feel guilty for wasting it if he didn't.
Which would indicate quite a few like that.

Personally I'd loathe a spa day, or anything similarly 'pampering'. (I hate that word!)
Luckily my family are all well aware.

Hugtheduggee · 19/12/2019 23:22

I think the box ones you get are rubbish - too many t's and c's, and I find them stressful to organise.

I've had more luck with getting vouchers for specific things - afternoon tea at a hotel that's near the reciepoetne, and tested by me (and they like afternoon tea), that sort of thing.

Generic ones can be very hit and miss, but whatever it is you always run the risk of it not being something they actually fancy doing.

Butterymuffin · 19/12/2019 23:24

Ring and ask if you can extend it, then go yourself.

ActualHornist · 19/12/2019 23:29

My siblings and I bought something similar for my dad for his 50th. We were 20, 18 and 14 at the time so not exactly flush.

Still pissed off that he just never made any effort to book it. He wanted to do it, he asked for it - and never used it.

GetUpAgain · 19/12/2019 23:33

What a waste! I got DH a present he hasn't used but at least it is just a gadget, so it doesn't expire.

Btw for anyone who is getting people experiences, quidco has 25% cashback at groupon today;)

ConstanceL · 20/12/2019 08:56

That's disappointing, but if he really wanted to go he would have made the effort. Can you extend the voucher and transfer it to something else and use it yourself?

Tbug · 20/12/2019 08:58

You can pay 20 to extend it

ButterflyBook · 20/12/2019 09:21

25 years ago a relative heard me say I'd quite enjoy a hot air balloon flight. I now have a voucher for a hot air balloon flight but, on consideration 25 years later I find I'm not too keen. A lot of money has been spent on this so will look bad to duck out of it. I'm agonising over what to do. I see this relative daily so very close and can't pretend I've used it. They'll be cross and hurt if I don't. Don't buy people experiences.

ButterflyBook · 20/12/2019 09:23

By 'not too keen' I mean I really don't want to do it.

Ghoulestofmums · 20/12/2019 09:37

That reminds me, last year DH and I were given a voucher for a special afternoon tea. The voucher is undated that we never got around to using it. I still feel guilty because now the donor has died

WhereverIMayRoam · 20/12/2019 10:06

I suspect a lot of experience gifts aren’t actually used by the recipients and I must admit I’ve done a lot of eye rolling at the Christmas topic this year as posters declare this is what they’re getting people, usually followed by something about the environment and rejection of plastic tat.

No matter how expensive they are (and they usually are!) they’re often IMO an incomplete gift for want of a better term, because they require something from the recipient too in order for to be used. It might mean using annual leave from work, the cost of getting to the venue, the cost of a second person attending because frankly a big part of some of these experience days is enjoying it with somebody else. It’s unfortunate that it’s gone to waste but the truth is he would have used it if he was excited about doing the activity. It doesn’t seem like he was.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 20/12/2019 10:44

Doesn't mean OP's DH wants to do an activity just because it is close by. Obviously Hmm I was referring to the fact that it wouldn't cost him money or time like some posters are saying puts them off.

BlueJava · 20/12/2019 10:49

I have often wondered how much these companies make by selling these experiences that are never used. It would be very interesting to know what % are actually used, I bet many of them are less than 50%.

ConkerGame · 20/12/2019 11:00

OP YABU. You gave him a gift to make him happy and to show you care. Not to make yourself happy!

I assume from his reaction to the gift that he was grateful for it and saw that you’d made an effort, but doesn’t actually want the experience. Him using the gift won’t actually help anyone if he doesn’t want to go. He already knows you got him something thoughtful and you know he appreciated the gesture. So what will him doing something he doesn’t want to do actually achieve?!

dazzledandconfused · 20/12/2019 17:41

Bought my husband similar for his 40th, it was a big stretch financially and a genuinely thoughtful gift during a stressful time for our family. He didn’t use his voucher either.

Nonnymum · 20/12/2019 18:02

Usually with these vouchers you can exchange them for somethng else if you dont fancy what's on the voucher. So it seems a shame your money has been wasted. Present giving is so hard. People say they want experiences instead of things but then they don't want the experience either!

EvaHarknessRose · 20/12/2019 18:07

These always fall flat but DH always wants me to get him an experience. Until we actually have to go.

Murraygoldberg · 20/12/2019 18:14

I've been guilty of this too, got something I would have loved to but it was too difficult to arrange, the companies must make a tidy sum on people not attending the event

GreenTulips · 20/12/2019 18:16

I watched a hoarder type program a few weeks ago and the hoarder had no idea that the daughter wanted friends round and was embarrassed to bring them.

Just tell her, sorry, I don’t like the cats and won’t be bringing baby.

user1485851222 · 20/12/2019 18:23

Ring up, explain and they may still honour it, I brought a driving experience for my hubby and son, I think they thought, mmmmmm, but they went and had a brilliant time... tell him to give it a go..

GuidoTheKillerPimp · 20/12/2019 18:25

Bought an experience for my partner for Christmas. He redeemed it and told me, several times, that he’d enjoyed it, but not as much as the one his ex-wife had got him a few years earlier. 🙄

Fatasfooook · 20/12/2019 18:28

Experience vouchers are shit presents

iamkahleesi · 20/12/2019 18:37

I love experience presents, especially if it's something I'd not usually do. Got too much stuff anyway, it's exciting to do things.

Havaina · 20/12/2019 18:44

Don’t call them on his behalf. He can sort it himself if he wants to try and get the expiry date extended.

Does he get you nice presents?

Swipe left for the next trending thread