If you attend a parent-run playgroup but don’t volunteer, what makes you think you’re so special?

[asdapryce]

The group I chair is run by parent volunteers and will have to close after Easter unless the parents who attend week in, week out agree to go on the volunteer rota and help occasionally.

I don’t understand why they don’t. It’s a group for parents of multiples - we’ve all got 2+ babies and mostly other children too; we’re all tired; we’re all busy but we all benefit hugely from the support of the group yet literally no one has put their name forward to be on the committee after Easter and get involved in the week to week running of the group after Easter.

Not to mention the support we offer to expectant mothers of multiples in terms of running a talks with our local hospital and for all local twins+ parents through a large, active Facebook support group and a twins+ buy/sell/donate site.

What makes people happy to take take take and never give back? I’m genuinely interested.

Do all the hard work? What hard work. It is an informal little child's play group. That's all. What on earth would they be organising that needs 'hard work'?

Says someone who's never been involved. Booking the hall, making sure someone's there with the key. Collecting the money, banking the money, accounting for the money. Paying the rent. Making sure someone's bought the tea and coffee and snack for the kids. Replacing toys when they break. Putting all the toys and chairs out at the start. Putting them all away at the end. Sweeping the floor. Emptying the bins.

Not massive tasks any of them. But if you're the one person doing it all week in, week out without any help it grates. Especially when there are people breezing in as if it's a five star hotel and would never consider helping.

SarahNade
There is no need for parents to book a hall, just to meet up some their kids can run and jump around.

so WHERE are your baby groups held? In your living room?
Or you mean a meet up in a soft play?

I don't think you have any clue what people are talking about here... Are you on the wrong thread or something?

Episcomama
But just having 3 dc does not automatically make life harder than someone else with 1. (And anyway presumably you chose 3 whereas someone else maybe knew they didnt have the energy for 3. )
If say someones kids have SN or SEN or just got behind at school could all mean hours of extra stuff at home.
Someone working FT from home SE might not be as tired as a FT 12h commuter.
I mean the FT worker might do all school/nursery drop pickups or none so no getting them ready or all of it etc and maybe no rushing back from work.

The people who dont want to volunteer may all prefer to pay more (as maybe they dont go frequently anyway)
However even i may be judging those who cant even be bothered to try to tidy up and just sit there when everyone else is. The ones here literally leave a mess around them too.

Why not just charge (more?) for tea and coffee people seem to want to pay for that.

Certainly i wouldnt want to rely on someome having to get public transport to open a group up (with kids) they may turn up early late or not at all. At least at rush hour for work things are often more frequent.

If noone volunteers it may mean

• they think the time is incovenient
• it's overcomplicated
• not safe?
• personally i wouldnt be responsible for distracted parents with coffee everywhere

Not easy to get to Even say a monday and that's when their kid's inset days are

I'm worried to volunteer because I've been treated badly in the past doing it - made to feel like I was 'intruding'.

I’m still very amused by the PP who suggested people might not have the relevant skill set.

Unlocking doors.
Opening cupboards
Boiling kettle
Putting snacks on a plate

chopping veg

This has me totally baffled. I didn't think there would be vegetables involved.

why? most groups offer snacks, carrots and cucumber are part of that.

Food?why are you offering food?mine had biscuits and tea or instant coffee
Obviously I paid a donation ,drink was a paper cup which I binned after use and didn’t eat their biscuits

then you shouldn't go to a volunteer-run group

Again, it is a playgroup! Not anything that needs volunteers for! You are taking it way, way too seriously. Play dates don't require 'volunteers' or a 'committee' or a 'chair'. We're not talking about Rotary or Lions here. We're talking a few people meeting up so their kids can play. There is no need for a hall or a boardroom or a committee. Or a chair/vice President. Or CEO.

SarahNade
playgroups and "play dates" are not the same , what are you talking about. Have you even been to a playgroup recently? It doesn't sound like you have.

@Pfefferkuchen as you say, depends on the child, ds has autism and even at 12/18 months was a total nightmare at stay and play groups hence why I stopped going in the end. Couldn't take my eyes off him for a single second.

Even now at 6 I can't get
many jobs done barring putting the washer / dryer on or occasionally washing the pots, he has to be at school or in bed before I get anything proper done as he needs too much supervision mainly to keep him alive

most groups offer snacks, carrots and cucumber are part of that
No not the groups I attended, different groups in multiple locations
Maybe SOMEONE didn’t volunteer for snack duty. Carrots & cucumber pushed it too far

@Pfefferkuchen

There is no need for a 'hall'.

There is no need for arts and crafts.

Balls, toys, parks etc are free.

And you are being silly, this is just a friendly play date group, it is not a real actual group like Scouts or Guides. You can't expect to be taken seriously. Also, there is nothing nasty about my attitude, you seem quite aggressive and nasty though.

Eek. NRTFT but OP really?!

I had 2 under 2 and I barely knew which day of the week it was. I would not have wanted to commit to any sort of rota or volunteer. It was hard enough getting out the house to get to playgroups in the first place, let alone arriving early! I'd worry my kids would be bored or too tired to stay the extra time needed to set up and put away, or get too hungry for lunch and end up crying all the way home. I'd worry their nap would be late, i'd worry about getting too involved in something and having to back out later..the list goes on!

It's great when people CAN lend their time to things like this, most playgroups we went to were church run with older retired people running them, I think there was one parent led one we went to but it wasn't my favourite actually! I went to several and no way could I have helped at them all. What if you agreed to help then the baby was sick or something? You'd feel stressed or anxious you were letting people down. It's a difficult time, hormones everywhere. My baby had reflux, it was full on!

YABU in your tone definitely but if you're genuinely curious that's my answer!

@PineappleDanish The point is, there is no need for a 'hall'. That is just way over the top for a playgroup playdate thing. Actual community groups need halls. Not parents having playdates.

There is no need for a 'hall'

More fool you if you want to be outside in all weather.

And you are being silly, this is just a friendly play date group

I rather think you’re being silly if you’re unable to process the concept that there are various types of group.

We're talking a few people meeting up so their kids can play

No we're not.

Everyone's talking about the sort of group which meets in a church hall and is for the benefit of the local community as a whole.

You appear to think it;s a group of friends getting together for a playdate which isn't what the OP has described at all.

It was blindingly obvious from the OP what she was talking about, everyone else seems to get it.

More fool you if you want to be outside in all weather.

You haven't heard of Softplay? MCDonalds play area?

You haven't heard of Softplay? MCDonalds play area?

You aren’t aware of rural communities....?

Well, excuse me then if I am ignorant, but I've never been part of or heard of playgroups that require such militant precision. Where I'm from, playgroups don't need to hire halls or anything like that.

Simplify it.

Remove the teas and coffees and snacks.
The last five mins of the session is tidy up time (play a tidy up song).
Just have the first person there open up and the last one there lock up.

Well, excuse me then if I am ignorant, but I've never been part of or heard of playgroups that require such militant precision. Where I'm from, playgroups don't need to hire halls or anything like that

See. Every day is a school day!

Dearie me, @SarahNade, you really are not getting this, are you? OP isn't running a group of friends all meeting up with their kids.

Close it. No volunteers no activity.