Is it morbid to tell your family which music you'd want at funeral?

[doadeer]

If anything ever happened to me, I have important pieces of music to me I would want at my funeral. I've told DH these on a few occasions just in case - he refuses to listen and says I'm morbid. (Just to note I don't have anything wrong with me)

Does anyone else have these discussions or am I very strange?

@TwoleftUggs that's amazing! I think it's necessary to have laughter at a funeral (though not hysterical laughter here perhaps)/wake.

I feel like it's part of the grieving process - so whether that's reminiscing about silly things, having a giggle at their goodbye music, whatever. I think it's important to know that grieving doesn't have to be a completely sombre process. Sometimes it involves happiness and happy memories.

It's not morbid at all. In fact just this week in Ireland the was a documentary about a funeral director and it featured a lovely American gentleman who was dying and had his funeral organised. I have no problem discussing my wishes. Everyone should do it. It makes it a hell of a lot easier for those left behind wondering what songs to have, what prayers etc to say.

I have a playlist on iTunes

Please write it down.

It’s not morbid. I personally get comfort from knowing it’s sorted.

One of the hardest things when my dad died was not knowing if we were doing what he would want because he refused to discuss it.

My cousin died last year and not only had he said what he wanted at the funeral, he wrote the eulogy!
It was the loveliest service I’ve ever been to. (Although incredibly sad, as he was only 47, with three young children).

I think it's important to talk about death as it removes some of the fear surrounding it. There are 'death cafes' popping up all over the world that provide a safe and open space for people to discuss it. Refusing to speak about death or referring to dying as 'passing away' or 'falling asleep' only makes it more terrifying in my opinion.

However, I do respect that not everyone feels this way and don't force my views on recently bereaved people. (Cos that would make me a twat)

No, I've told everyone that I want spirit in the sky at mine.

Not morbid at all. I often think about my funeral music and could it discuss freely with my DH or my parents/siblings.

I found it odd when FIL died as we sat around speculating what music, readings etc he'd like. On my side of the family, this is a regular topic of conversation.

I don't want to discuss the songs my loved ones want at their funerals. This means I have to think about their funerals which is sad for me. If they just write it down in a place that can easily be found after they are dead, then I'll sort it.

I've done the same for what I want at my funeral. I don't have such a huge ego that I need to discuss it before I'm even dead or almost dead.

No, I found it really helpful when planning DH's funeral that he had been making a list of songs for his funeral and I knew the latest order of this (ever evolving) list. I have talked to DS about what I want too, should it be necessary - it makes it easier to plan the send off and make it personal.

I lost my beloved Dad a few weeks ago
It’s been very hard
However made easier by pre payed funeral which stated his wishes eg coffin, casket for ashes, burial plot etc
We knew what he liked and could easily choose hymns and funeral music
I’ve left very clear instructions for my DC - it’s the least I can do

I don't really care what happens to my body once I'm dead. I'll have finished with it (or it will have finished with me). But reading this has made me see it as a courtesy to my loved ones. I'm lucky enough to still have my parents, and I was a child when I lost my grandparents so I've never had to organise a funeral yet, but having seen friends lose their parents, it can cause awkwardness between siblings, so spelling it out will remove the potential for that.
My kids are still young, so my main concern isn't my funeral, it is who would look after them if DH and I died together. There aren't any obvious candidates, so I'm making sure the car is well serviced and trying really hard to stay alive. We'd be statistically very unlucky to go together in the next 15 years.

Nope, I’ve sorted all I want.

My 21 year old daughter told me she has already picked out my funeral music

I’m only 44 and am fit & healthy

Do you think I should be worried?

DH’s song choices are mainly truly miserable!

But whatever songs are played will likely make people sad through association, so perhaps his approach makes sense!

I don’t like the coffin being there at the funeral service and don’t want that for myself. Especially when the curtain closes and off it goes to the cremation part

Peter Sellers hated Glenn Millers "In the Mood". He asked for it to be played at his funeral. As it was introduced by the priest as "one of Petwrs favourite " songs it proved to be a final twist of the comic genius.

This is my request

I want Stairway to Heaven 🙂

My DH is an ex boxer and fitness nut
He wants The two main songs from Rocky
Eye of the Tiger &’ Gonna Fly Now
He said I can pick the third one 😂
I might chose Sting Every Breath You Take

A friends grandad went out to the theme tune on Bonaza now that did have us in complete fits even the vicar was doing his best not to laugh

It's not morbid. I've made sure DH and DM know exactly where I want my ashes scattered after I die. Fingers crossed I'll not pip my clogs til I'm over a hundred. But it's reassuring to know that if it happened sooner, I'd be where I want to be

Sooner are later all of us will pass away so there is nothing strange or terrible in thinking about it. Me and my boyfriend were talking about it and he said that he wants something by David Bowie along with the slideshow of his photos. That seemed funny to me so we even have chosen the pics from his childhood and teen years and created a little slideshow with some slideshow software called SmartSHOW3D. We had lots of fun preparing it, so now Im ready for his funeral <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png"> . Gotta do the same for me just in case lol. But I dont like Bowie, so guess Camila Cabello is going to be my choice or maybe Taylor Swift, idk yet

Not morbid at all. You have things you'd like done and will (theoretically) be saving your family stress at a horrible time of their life. Ignore him and crack on.

Not morbid at all. I have had to arrange 4 funerals in the past few years, and I only remembered days after my Dad's that there was a particular song he wanted, because he had only mentioned it in passing. The other family members didn't tell me, so was difficult.
I have made sure my family know exactly what music I want.

My mum said she wanted "It's Raining Men" and then said maybe it was too inappropriate. I said she could have what she likes - it's not like anyone can have a go at her about it, is it?