Is it morbid to tell your family which music you'd want at funeral?

[doadeer]

If anything ever happened to me, I have important pieces of music to me I would want at my funeral. I've told DH these on a few occasions just in case - he refuses to listen and says I'm morbid. (Just to note I don't have anything wrong with me)

Does anyone else have these discussions or am I very strange?

Not at al. DH & I were discussing this last night.

I don't think its weird or morbid but am in the same position as you. I try to tell dp and he just doesn't want to know.

Music means so much to me, which most people know, but no one would ever pick the song I want,. It's just not a song they would think of. It is a song I used to listen to whilst cleaning during my after school job no idea why I love it so much, it just speaks to me!

I planned mine out years ago and I'm 28 😂

My eldest son, who is 10, thinks I'm joking when I tell him what I want. He laughed when I told him. As does my mum. She always says she will be dead by then but who knows.

Also, the evil grin my son had on his face when I told him he's in charge of my funeral was amusing. Wasn't so funny for him when I told him he'd be paying for it hahaha.

It is rather morbid [though important], as such it's something that you shoudl refrain from bringing up often, better instead to put it in your will (a few handwritten lines/bullet points would do) & tell your next of kin about it just the once, but be clear when you do that you're deadly serious about it.

After the trouble we had choosing music for my mum's definitely not! We ended up compromising and I'm convinced we got it wrong.

though i will say that funerals are imo primarily for the benefit of the next of kin, so going with somethign that they''d hate would imo be a terrible idea.

A friend of mine was upset to discover her DH had wanted to be buried - it was in his will but she didn't read that until after the cremation.

Organising a funeral is tough enough without having to guess which bits of music the deceased would want - it's better everyone knows ahead of time.

A close friend and a relative both chose music for their funerals, I felt it was a lovely parting gift.

I have told DH that I want 'bring me to life' by evanescence for mine.

I don't think so. I've just had the funeral conversation with my mum after a family friend died very suddenly aged 45. Her kids were upset not knowing what she would have liked for the funeral so I wanted to make sure I knew for mine. We've written it all down (I've done the same for me even though I'm only 28 but you just never know) and I feel better knowing it's organised. Could you write it and put it somewhere DH will remember to look when the time comes?

I often plan my own funeral music and told my sons what I want.
There are a lot of good numbers there!
It's not for everyone , but I want to go out with some decent tunes.

It's a bad idea to discuss it just once. Your tastes and wishes are very likely to change over the decades. It isn't morbid to make your wishes known. It's perfectly sensible. Other aspects of death should also be discussed e.g organ donation, if you want to be resuscitated should the worst happen, life insurance, funeral plans etc. Discussing it doesn't have to be a big deal. I've done so while watching television.

I've written all my funeral wishes down, including a slideshow and my favorite music on a USB stick. I've picked "Time in a Bottle" and "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" for mine. My adult kids know about it, it's not a big deal in my family. I remember how horrible it was, having to decide about my parents' funeral music and readings, I felt so pressured. This way my kids can just say " here is what Mum wanted".

Please put your wishes down somewhere they can be found. I have done funeral visits where family have no idea what they relative wanted. I've gone through CD cabinets, the piano stool and all sorts to try and work out what might be appropriate with an unmusical family of a musical deceased. It is so much easier when we have a list of music and hymns and poems. Job done.

My parents have arranged and paid for their funerals. We just need to let the funeral director know when the time comes and he'll take care of it all just the way they want it. That way, parents get exactly what they want and we don't have to worry about the cost or details.

When my mum died, we all ended up arguing over her hymns. My mum had dementia and would always sing I watch the Sunrise to us. My sister hated that hymn. I was the one had taken out a funeral plan for mum but didn't say what hymns she wanted.
In the end her 4 daughters picked a hymn each My brothers didn't give a shit what hymns were chosen.
I'm having
I watch the Sunrise 😆
Walk with me oh my Lord
As I kneel before you
Here I am lord

Wills should be also be revised because so much can change.

Imagine them playing something awful because you didn't tell them though. Oh my god, they could play a Daniel Bedingfield song or Celine Dion!!!!!! Make your feelings clear well in advance!!!!

Another who doesn't think putting it in your will is a great idea - I wouldn't go to start sorting out wills until after the funeral.
Talk about it, people.
Just part of normal conversations.

i often say to dh that he must play a certain song.....then I realise chances are ds will be picking.

Definitely don't put it in your Will ! Funerals are often arranged the day after death - long before anyone looks at your will. Write your funeral requests down, include any music / readings, and TELL your family where the instructions are.

My DP has asked me to ensure ‘The laughing Gnome’ or Ernie the Milkman’ is played for comedy value.

I’ve requested anything from U2.

My mum never said but she'd said how they'd sung "Eternal Father Strong to Save" (the Naval Hymn) every Sunday when she was in the WRNS so she got that plus Crimond. Dad loved a childhood hymn "By Cool Siloam's Shady Rill" (no, no one knew that one at the service either) so he got that plus "Eternal Father" as he was a merchant navy officer. Collections were to the King George Fund for Sailors and the RNLI. They were both church goers so they were village church services before the cremation in the city. The King George Fund guy really pissed both Dad and I (former reserve Wren) off so RNLI it was for Dad's funeral! Plus his pay at sea was always docked for them which no one minded given who would have to haul them out of a shipwreck.

Not at all, it’s helpful and opens the door to conversation when needed. I’m going for ‘ ding dong the witch is dead’