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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I am being unreasonable but I’m desperate and see no wax *trigger warning sexual assault*

80 replies

OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:17

To try and keep it brief, the background facts are:
My daughter was sexually assaulted 2 years ago.
Since then she has self harmed, sh has panic attacks, she has flashbacks and just worries a lot and has missed school due to anxiety.
She’s had private Counselling that didn’t help much.

She was referred to CAMHS by the GP as they are unable to prescribe antidepressants or anti anxiety medication because she’s only 16.
CAMHS refused to see her.

So, I’m considering getting anti anxiety medication for myself and then giving it to her. I know this is not recommended but I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
Mickhasnotorso · 15/12/2019 06:18

I find it hard to believe that they wouldn't give her medication. See another doctor.

Wildorchidz · 15/12/2019 06:20

Can you see someone privately? I don’t think you should medicate her yourself.

Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:20

What do you mean? I’m not making it up. Due to her age they will not prescribe without CAMHS. CAMHS won’t see her.
This is a practise wide thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:22

@Wildorchidz neither do I, but I can’t afford private. I’m hoping someone here will be able to help me. Thanks for the reply x

OP posts:
ArchieStar · 15/12/2019 06:22

Ask for a second opinion. I got my first dose of citalopram at 16.

Hope your daughter gets the help she deserves soon 💕

BillywilliamV · 15/12/2019 06:22

How old is she? I do think that the right Doctor will give her medication if that is the right thing to do. I also think that you probably have not found the right counsellor/ therapist yet.
I have teen girls myself, this sounds like a nightmare. I hope it works out for you and DD.

Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:27

Just realised I messed up the title. I’ve been awake with her since 1am. I meant ‘see no way to help her’.

OP posts:
nachthexe · 15/12/2019 06:28

My dd2 has been on amitriptylene. since she was 14. Prescribed by psych. I don’t understand why camhs won’t see her? Go back to gp and ask that they get to the bottom of that refusal as she needs treatment.

Fr0g · 15/12/2019 06:30

a friends child was prescribed a-ds at 14-15, and i'm sure that i've read media reports about the rise in such prescribing, so I don't think there is a blanket NHS ban.

try and find the NICE guidelines on this and go back to GP armed with this info, or as PP has suggested, try another GP.

A-Ds can have pretty heavy side effects, withdrawal symptoms and reactoin to other medication, and I don't know, but mat have different impact for teens, so I wouldn't reccomend getting them prescribed for you & giving them to your daughter.

Have you tried local or national charities for support? A lot depends on the personal interraction between counsellor and patient, so a second attempt at talking therapy may be helpful.

Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:32

@BillywilliamV she’s 16. It was explained to me that due to small amounts of teens being made worse and suicide rates going up on those meds they won’t prescribe without CAMHS go ahead.
Am I allowed to go to a GP outside of my area? (I live in wales if that makes a difference) and try again with a different practise?
I am looking to find a different counsellor/type of therapy that I can afford so that is my ray of good at the moment. My beautiful hardworking girl is going into GCSE exams and having floods of panic because she can’t cope with people sat behind her, school are really trying to help, but it’s affecting her ability to do her exams and she works so hard it’s breaking my heart to see that destroyed because of this.

OP posts:
Fr0g · 15/12/2019 06:33

I was confused by the wax Xmas Smile

Surfskatefamily · 15/12/2019 06:36

That's so awful for her and you..as a start can you get the school to have her seated at the back during exams?

Try the online GPs. They seem less reluctant on the prescribing front.

Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:37

@nachthexe apparently she doesn’t meet the criteria for being seen. Reading between the lines it appears to be because she isn’t suicidal/made any attempts. It appears services are so stretched they can only see the ‘worst’ cases. Which is appalling to me.

@Fr0g thank you I hadn’t thought of charities, I’ll have a google and see what I can find. I’m willing to change practises if that’s what it takes but I thought you could only register with one where you live, but I may be wrong, I will investigate.

OP posts:
Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:40

@Surfskatefamily yes school have agreed that she can sit the exams in the room for SEN kids which will start from her next exam after Christmas. I’m hoping this will help at least a little as the boy in question won’t be in the same room as her.

OP posts:
Surfskatefamily · 15/12/2019 06:40

My younger sister was sexually assaulted, lived with me at the time and she was still a teenager. It was awful, she was afraid to go out on her own. She has had years of counselling and she gets on great now and your daughter I hope will turn a corner with help.

Anxiety wise maybe look at herb in the meantime. Kalms are a popular herbal anxiety tablet. Check the packaging in case it's not recommended for her age. You could also talk to someone in Holland and barrett of similar to find out what herbs it is that help in case pre made up ones like kalms are not advised under 18

Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:41

Online GP is a great idea! Thank you!

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 15/12/2019 06:41

Get in touch with MIND. They can offer advice and support.

Theredjellybean · 15/12/2019 06:41

Prescribing of anti depressants and anti anxiety medication is consultant only for under 18s.
Its not your practice OP, its the rule for every gp in UK.
I would go back to the gp and ask why cahms won't see her. You can also contact your mp and the commissioners.
I know you shouldn't have to but you are going to have to shout loudly for your daughter.
You could also get support from your nearest SARC

Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:42

@Surfskatefamily I’m sorry for your sister, and glad she is doing better. I will go to Holland and Barrett tomorrow and see what they say. X

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 15/12/2019 06:42

Are you saying that the person who assaulted her is still in the same school?
That is outrageous!

HeronLanyon · 15/12/2019 06:43

Really sorry you are going through this op.
At the heart of this from what you have written the gp seems to be acting within good clinically evidenced practice. If there is increased suicide risk it’s understandable prescribing can’t happen without expert mh input.
Why won’t Camhs see her. Has your go refused to refer? Have you got the school on board with a letter to your gp outlining her difficulties via a vis school ? This doesn’t sound right. From what you’ve written I don’t understand why CAMHS won’t see her. Is it a question of delay ?
Given what the doctor has said it would be really dangerous to ‘self’ medicate her even though I understand you wanting to.
Really good luck op. Support.

Original poster
OwlBeThere · 15/12/2019 06:44

@Theredjellybean sorry, what is SARC? I’m absolutely willing to fight for her. This can’t go on like this.

OP posts:
Scootingthebreeze · 15/12/2019 06:45

The thing with camhs is you're low priority until you've received several referrals. Take her to see a different GP and get them to write in support of needing camhs. Ask school if they can do same.

My daughter has anxiety driven by unknown triggers so I know a little of what you're going through. It makes you feel totally powerless in many ways.

What your daughter is going through (and you) sounds truly awful. I hope you succeed in getting them to listen.

Another thing to try in the interim is going to your local health food shop and getting bach rescue remedy. This will help reduce her anxiety to a degree

HRH2020 · 15/12/2019 06:45

For the panic attacks I recommend self hypnosis app, search free hypnosis. She will have to listen at least once a day. Also the calm app to help regulate breathing and relaxation. Could she take rescue remedy or other natural calming herbal tablets? I have had severe panic attacks and some of this did help.

HeronLanyon · 15/12/2019 06:45

Sorry. Thread moved fast and I’ve seen updates. There’s good advice here. I too don’t understand the boy in question still being at her school !?

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