I know I am being unreasonable but I’m desperate and see no wax *trigger warning sexual assault*

[OwlBeThere]

To try and keep it brief, the background facts are:
My daughter was sexually assaulted 2 years ago.
Since then she has self harmed, sh has panic attacks, she has flashbacks and just worries a lot and has missed school due to anxiety.
She’s had private Counselling that didn’t help much.

She was referred to CAMHS by the GP as they are unable to prescribe antidepressants or anti anxiety medication because she’s only 16.
CAMHS refused to see her.

So, I’m considering getting anti anxiety medication for myself and then giving it to her. I know this is not recommended but I don’t know what to do.

Have you thought about Reflexology acupuncture or Reiki’ theses can be amazing for anxiety x rosemary oil is fab for alleviating panic attacks. Pm me if you need any more information

I think you're going through a very tough time and are probably worried out your mind. However please don't give her your medication. It isn't best practice to prescribe psychiatric medication to under 16s. It sounds as though the GP is being a responsible practitioner. However it seems that she needs some kind of help. What about charities in your area ie penumbra (I'm not sure if they're just based in Scotland or if they are UK wide). They are very good at helping with young people anxieties and self harm issues etc. And perhaps another visit to the GP to see what options there are. CAMHS are just so clogged up at the moment, much of which being inappropriate referrals and people who don't actually require mental health input so MH services get completely swamped. So when someone like your daughter comes along who needs the input, they can't get it.

Medication will only mask the issue. I think the interventions need to go a bit deeper than that.

I have anxiety disorder and other mental health issues they didn't give me medication until I was 27. I had to keep going back to the doctor for ten years. Hopefully it doesn't take you that long.

DD could try CBD if they won't give her something. Its works well for anxiety.

See another doctor x

Have you heard of Emdr therapy? I'd always go down non pharmacological routes first prior to anti anxiety meds particularly as they have such bad rebound symptoms.

I was sexually assaulted as a child and I didn't tell anyone. I would have given anything to have a mum like you there holding me. You are a wonderful mum.

Please see a different doc. My friend got ADs young and they made her symptoms worse so I would avoid just giving her ones prescribed for you. Maybe also speak to a pharmacist separately as pharmacists are the experts on medications not GPs.

I'm sorry you are both going through this.

Do not give her medication. Apart from the fact that she might have a bad reaction, you could be arrested and reported to social services for it. Ask to see another gp. I know of a 15 year old who is on anti depressants. It sounds like you’re being fobbed off.

Please don’t get medication for yourself and give it to your daughter. Some anti depressants actually cause suicidal feelings, especially in teenagers. There’s also lots of anti depressants and anxiety medications and your daughter needs whats right for her rather than what your GP thinks is right for you.

I hope you can find someone to help, or at least a second expert opinion on whether medication might help or not. I saw you can’t afford to go privately but I hope you can find a way to be seen. I don’t know how cahms works but I wonder if a referal for an appointment to discuss medication is more likely to happen than being referred for on going treatment/therapy. Does her school know and have they got any ideas on how to access support?

Yes, you can register at a GP out of area. Anyone can register out of area since 2015 so if you work hours away from home your best registering near your place of work.

www.england.nhs.uk/publication/choice-of-gp-practice-guidance-on-the-new-out-of-area-patient-registration-arrangements/

If you don't have any luck with an online GP, consider saving up for a private diagnosis, the GP will then be provided with a letter and be willing to prescribe them from then on usually.

Not ideal but I'd be willing to pretend she is having suicidal thoughts/plans then CAMHS would see her, however that would likely just increase her anxiety if she had to lie.

Thank you Tories.

I went to the doctors at 16 for horrific anxiety and depression and before the words came out of my mouth the doctor had already written a prescription for sertaline. But it’s not what I wanted as I was worried about side effects and needed to take them for the rest of my life. Start small, get her referred for CBT, or self refer for CBT, do that, if that doesn’t help then push for medication.

No, don’t get a prescription for yourself and give it to her that is really stupid.

Can absolutely second the suggestion of getting in touch with your local SARC, they will have the resources and often specialised therapists to support people after a sexual assault, even young people sadly.

Have a little google, it might be Rape Crisis or it could be another charity or some are NHS. They will need her consent to see her and offer therapy etc.

I’m so sorry your daughter is going through this. Sending love

I haven't read the full thread, so apologies if I am repeating. In this kind of case I don't think CAHMS would refuse to see your daughter. They may be a waiting list, but I very much doubt they would refuse. So go back to your GP - make sure she is actually referred - go to another GP if you get no joy. Contact her school. Do they have a counsellor on site? Speak to the DSL if necessary. (designated safeguarding lead)They will be able to point you in the right direction. I really wish you the best.xx

As another poster suggested I would suggest looking at EDMR. I’m not sure medication gets to the source of anything.
I’m so sorry you’re all living this nightmare. Life shouldn’t be like this.

www.healthline.com/health/emdr-therapy

I haven’t read the whole thread op and somebody may have already mentioned this but how about paying to go private? I had health issues and couldn’t get anywhere with the gp so I went private and got sorted within a couple of weeks. That included being prescribed the medication I needed. Yes it cost a few hundred but in my opinion it was money well spent as I was so poorly. Google private gp and the name of your county. I found this one in London for you. I travelled a couple of hours too.
www.spirehealthcare.com/the-montefiore-hospital/treatments/private-gp-services/?infinity=ict2~net~gaw~ar~336717345796~kw~%2Bprivate%20%2Bgp~mt~b~cmp~Montefiore+-+GP+-+Private+-+%5BB%5D~ag~Private+GP&gclsrc=aw.ds&&infinity=ict2~net~gaw~ar~336717345796~kw~%2Bprivate%20%2Bgp~mt~b~cmp~Montefiore+-+GP+-+Private+-+%5BB%5D~ag~Private+GP&gclid=Cj0KCQiA0NfvBRCVARIsAO4930n6MTaq207ivWeMzl0qcICTmHtd4XzeaZoJYGBhvtWozYNUnAGnoAgaAj0EEALw_wcB

I found EMDR therapy was good for various things. It's said to be the best therapy specifically for trauma. There are so many different therapies to try- if one didn't help, it doesn't mean none will.

I would also take her to see a private consultant- if it's not for long then it can be affordable. Once the consultant prescribes and gets her settled on something you needn't see them again unless you need to. They will tell your GP what they've prescribed and the GP will prescribe it as usual. I think it'd be worth it.

Hugs and best wishes xxxxx

She might need to adjust the dosage to get it right and young people have an increased risk of suicidal thoughts so it needs monitoring when a new medication is started. In addition the upstart side affects can be horrible and she would benefit from the GP's support during that time to discuss it.

I know first hand how useful they can be so really sympathise but getting drugs to give her would be a dangerous idea that could make things worse.

I hope she gets the support she needs

How awful OP she is not being supported. I know ADs can increase suicide risk in under18s so I winder if AA medication has similar risks.

You have some helpful advice here from people with more knowledge than I, I hope this results in you finding a way forward for her

That is not normal. Children as young as 8/9 can and are prescribed antidepressants. Go to a different doctor

FGS do not go and get medication for yourself and then give it to her. What if she does have a bad reaction to it? Any new medication must be monitored by a doctor, particularly for a DC. I can't believe you'd do something so irresponsible, tbh, desperate or not. Go and see a different doctor, but do not do this!

Hey OP, I can’t assess without seeing someone, but from your description of her symptoms and the stressor that caused them it does sound like PTSD or another trauma induced disorder.
The anxiety is part of the clinical presentation as is obtrusive imagery ( flashbacks). PTSD is often associated with military service but is prevalent in victims of sexual trauma.
Meds’ will be useful to control symptoms but therapy will be useful to address the trauma and develop coping strategies. She may find the meds give her the space she needs to then address the trauma.
I would go back to your GP, and push again; I know you shouldn’t have to but this is the state of mental health services. CAMHs are hugely overloaded so generally are dealing with crisis cases (attempted suicides). It means others get lost in the gap unfortunately.
Do pursue private therapy if possible; a counsellor won’t be able to deal with this unless they have training in specific trauma focused modalities such as EMDR or trauma focused CBT.
DO NOT get anxiety meds for yourself to give to her. You have no idea which meds would be most suitable or if there are any contra-indications. Certain meds are unsuitable for adolescents.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this and I really wish mental health services didn’t allow those like your daughter to slip through the cracks like this. It’s outrageous.

I think she needs better targeted counselling to deal with the cause not just medicating. A lot of counsellors are pretty useless and don’t actually help resolve the issues.

Research and find a good psychotherapist who has experience with dealing with self harming/PTSD patients.

Thank you all so much I’ve made note of all the helpful suggestions. You don’t know how much I appreciate the non-judgemental support and those understanding my thought about the medication is born of a desperately worried mother who is watching my child suffer.
@zafferana, I’ve already said I won’t, right from the start in fact I admitted i knew it was not the right thing. It was just desperation talking.
@Ironmanrocks Camhs can and HAVE refused to see her. I have the letter here saying so.

I’m going to look into all the things suggested, especially SARC and EMDR. I’m a single parent with 4 kids but m going to somehow try and find the money to go private even if just for an initial appointment.

Thank you all again.