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To be furious I can’t complain about this woman!

129 replies

Velvetbloomers · 14/12/2019 19:29

really want to post the full details to this but from the outset the reason I won’t is it’ll be very outing.

I posted about something I’m particularly annoyed about on a closed social media forum last week, nothing outrageous or to do with the election 😅, it was asking for some support and for some joined up thinking on tackling it .

Anyway out of the replies one was a tad ‘shirty’, can’t say too much (sorry) but they’d not read the post properly it looked like and had misinterpreted it and was also clearly trying to put me back in my box - based on having not read the post properly. A quick snoop revealed she doesn’t live in the area, no children at school here etc. I explained that sorry but that’s not what it’s regarding and thought that would be that. However she kept arguing the toss and again trying to put me back in my box, I know I should have left it but it’s something I feel quite passionate about and affects my children. So I explained again, but she was doing the thing you see on here where people try and be snooty and misquote to gain the upper hand and again put me back in my box. Worst thing was she has no vested interest in what I was posting about. And given her background I felt she was being quite elitist. I have worked in PR previously so I recognise this well worn MO from certain women like this, and I’m pretty thick skinned.

However it really upset as it seemed like she was deliberately poking. I felt really under attack and just couldn’t understand why she was continuing to have a go, I also must add I don’t know her from Adam.

Anyway further looking revealed two things. She’s a bloody councillor for the council of a neighbouring village - still didn’t understand why she had such a problem with it. This infuriated me as it seemed so, so unprofessional for someone in that position, nearly a week on and I still can’t believe how she was carrying on in a relatively public place given her position. Nothing would have satisfied me more to complain about her conduct, and attitude on the subject given her position.

Se one thing though she is a very good friend of a good (but relatively new a couple of years) friend of mine! I really can’t do anything can I?!? Also mortified if this friend were to find out I’ve been arguing with someone on social media 😂. Even if I was in the right! Pretty surprised they’re friends with such a woman if I’m honest!

OP posts:
SkatingWithPenguins · 06/09/2020 08:09

Locally we have a Facebook group formed by people who say they are persecuted by our local councillors online and post about how it affects their mental health. I’ve seen them multiple times say they’ve been misquoted/ had their words twisted in these long convoluted arguments. They are incredibly passionate there is only one point of view, theirs, and that everything else is elitist or against what is right.
As a neutral observer who didn’t vote for the councillors but also doesn’t have a problem with them it looks nutty. The exchanges I’ve seen are a case of both parties being a bit silly online. Not malicious, or wrong or nasty. Half the time they aren’t even saying different things. Yet these individuals now even have their own group to expose the councillors. You can’t ever gently say that it comes across differently otherwise you are either held as being in league with the baddies or impacting on their mental health.
Basically what I’m saying is this is really really common on Facebook, and without context this is why people don’t feel able to trust you on this one. Delete the original post and let all their comments disappear and let their time be wasted if you want. But don’t think everybody else locally who reads is it necessarily thinking you’ve been wronged and she Is horrible, they maybe are just cringing a bit at the whole exchange.

BrandNewShinyThings · 06/09/2020 08:14

ZOMBIE THREAD

WiserOlder · 06/09/2020 08:17

Councillors send fb requests to all and sundry.
Fb friends not necessarilly friends!

ShinyMe · 06/09/2020 08:22

Interstate that all the ancient threads being bumped today are being resurrected either by someone with "Boris" in their user name or someone with "Trump" in their user name.

ShinyMe · 06/09/2020 08:23

Interstate? Interesting!

WALKING2 · 06/09/2020 08:25

So you had an argument with someone on a private/closed social media site and you are raging about it.
Don't let it get to you so much. You are using so much effort thinking about it.
Let it go and perhaps avoid trolls or people that purposely or ignorantly misunderstand....

AmelieTaylor · 06/09/2020 08:27

Can't you just make a comment about why you don't understand why she's deliberately twisting your post & how it's inappropriate/unbecoming of someone who is a 'her position in x council' etc.

Stop arguing the point & call her out in her behaviour.

I wouldn't worry what 'new friend' thinks, it's all there to read & if she thinks you're out of order you're probably not terribly suited as friends anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

AmelieTaylor · 06/09/2020 08:33

I read all the OP's posts & skimmed the second half of the replies...that teach me!!!

Idiots reviving Zombie threads should be made to go & live with Trump or Boris

DoubleDolphin · 06/09/2020 08:34

There is no such thing as a "closed social media platform". Its ignorant to ever think there is. It's like when people post things on facebook and complain when something gets out, complaining "its private". Nothing is ever private when things can be shown to others or screenshotted and shared.

LadyofTheManners · 06/09/2020 08:41

[quote Velvetbloomers]@PlomBear the council who employ her, it was just really unprofessional. Like I said I worked in PR for many a year and she shouldn’t be carrying on like a high school bully on social media on this particular subject given she’s a local councillor.[/quote]
I wouldn't give a crap who she was and whether she would know it was me who complained.

I was in a similar situation on a local residents Facebook page. The admin took a dislike to me, I'm very vocally socialist and probably come across as a bit of a hippy (not that I feel it's a problem). She had commented about the amount of homeless people living in tents spoiling the local park (they were living in scrubland right away from the main park, nowhere near kids playing or the cafe). She then made a slur about don't we already have enough Travellers turning up, except she didn't say travellers she used a disgusting name for them.
I commented that really we should be more cross on what is happening here to cause the tent community, and that would she be so keen to use a racial slur instead of a slur against travellers. She called me some rather choice names.
She then made some derogatory comments on Grenfell. At that point I found out she was on the next town overs Tory council, the controlling council at that. I asked why she felt she should be behaving in that way on a public group.

Which caused a weekend of her and her mates calling me a whore, a c**t, telling me I was mentally unstable, I can find out where you live, it was horrific. She then banned me from the group!
This I must add wasn't a young woman, we are talking a woman old enough to know better, easily late 50s.
So I reported her. I reported her to her party. I was sent screen grabs after I was ditched of what she carried on saying about me when others had called her out on her behaviour so I sent those too.
What I didn't know at the time was that she had behaved in a similar way to others. One had enough and contacted the local press. A journalist joined the group very quietly and waited for her to act out again and happy to say last year a huge expose was done on her in said newspaper and she got in all manner of trouble to the point she resigned from the local council.

Bullying and trolling is bad whether it's a kid, a chav or a person in a position of responsibility as with your troll and yes, you should report it.
If she is sanctioned for it, tough, hopefully it will teach her a valuable lesson on how we present ourselves on public forums.

fuzzyduck1 · 06/09/2020 08:43

Maybe let the local paper know about the post. (No the quite )
They might like the chance to belittle A councillor

Alonetime · 06/09/2020 08:49

Maybe let the local paper know about the post. (No the quite ) They might like the chance to belittle A councillor

Do you think? Why would you encourage belittling in the local press 10 months after the event?

TheHappyHerbivore · 06/09/2020 09:07

You can complain. You just don’t want to. So what is there to be furious about?

gamerchick · 06/09/2020 09:10

@fuzzyduck1

Maybe let the local paper know about the post. (No the quite ) They might like the chance to belittle A councillor
Wont that look a bit stupid or petty considering the age of this thread?
DragonPie · 06/09/2020 09:16

ZOMBIE THREAD!

Grannyspecsandslippers · 06/09/2020 09:18

You need to grow up a bit

  • you can’t complain ‘officially’ because someone disagrees with you on Social Media.
Teal99 · 06/09/2020 09:22

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT 📣

JenniferSantoro · 06/09/2020 09:27

I think that by responding to this person you have probably fed the problem. I think the advice to ignore and not bite is the most appropriate response. Don’t let it get to you. She’s not worth your time and annoyance.

gamerchick · 06/09/2020 09:27

Is wish threads automatically locked after a certain amount of time of none active. Apparently the warning at the bottom isn't enough Hmm

WiserOlder · 06/09/2020 09:39

I don't know why it matters so much that it's a zombie thread...

SoupDragon · 06/09/2020 10:09

@WiserOlder

I don't know why it matters so much that it's a zombie thread...
Because commenting about something that the OP no longer cares about because it was so long ago is daft and a waste of time..
lifesalongsong · 06/09/2020 10:19

@WiserOlder

I don't know why it matters so much that it's a zombie thread...
Maybe if it was a thread about general advice or a film say could still be relevant to discuss but a very specific, pretty insignificant event ages after it's probably long forgotten by the OP is a waste of time.
InfiniteSheldon · 06/09/2020 10:26

I actually think it's quite interesting as social commentary and the use and abuse, of social media in local politics.

DoubleDolphin · 06/09/2020 10:31

Just noticed this thread was last December

Alonetime · 06/09/2020 10:32

Just noticed this thread was last December

Really? What did you think was meant by all of the posts pointing this fact out?