To be furious I can’t complain about this woman!

[Velvetbloomers]

really want to post the full details to this but from the outset the reason I won’t is it’ll be very outing.

I posted about something I’m particularly annoyed about on a closed social media forum last week, nothing outrageous or to do with the election 😅, it was asking for some support and for some joined up thinking on tackling it .

Anyway out of the replies one was a tad ‘shirty’, can’t say too much (sorry) but they’d not read the post properly it looked like and had misinterpreted it and was also clearly trying to put me back in my box - based on having not read the post properly. A quick snoop revealed she doesn’t live in the area, no children at school here etc. I explained that sorry but that’s not what it’s regarding and thought that would be that. However she kept arguing the toss and again trying to put me back in my box, I know I should have left it but it’s something I feel quite passionate about and affects my children. So I explained again, but she was doing the thing you see on here where people try and be snooty and misquote to gain the upper hand and again put me back in my box. Worst thing was she has no vested interest in what I was posting about. And given her background I felt she was being quite elitist. I have worked in PR previously so I recognise this well worn MO from certain women like this, and I’m pretty thick skinned.

However it really upset as it seemed like she was deliberately poking. I felt really under attack and just couldn’t understand why she was continuing to have a go, I also must add I don’t know her from Adam.

Anyway further looking revealed two things. She’s a bloody councillor for the council of a neighbouring village - still didn’t understand why she had such a problem with it. This infuriated me as it seemed so, so unprofessional for someone in that position, nearly a week on and I still can’t believe how she was carrying on in a relatively public place given her position. Nothing would have satisfied me more to complain about her conduct, and attitude on the subject given her position.

Se one thing though she is a very good friend of a good (but relatively new a couple of years) friend of mine! I really can’t do anything can I?!? Also mortified if this friend were to find out I’ve been arguing with someone on social media 😂. Even if I was in the right! Pretty surprised they’re friends with such a woman if I’m honest!

[PreseaCombatir]

Oh for god sake. Don’t grass someone up for having a row on fucking Facebook. All this reporting people to their employers makes me sick.
You could have disengaged, but you chose to keep at it with her

[Velvetbloomers]

@Lifeinaplasticbox if it was just a random keyboard warrior I wouldn’t be bothered but because of the subject and who she is I am.

[OlaEliza]

What was the subject?

[PreseaCombatir]

But she WAS a random keyboard warrior. Until you had a ‘quick snoop’ you didn’t know she was a councillor. Don’t know why you were snooping, just disengage 🤷‍♀️

[WorraLiberty]

She isn’t a stranger though and what she was saying and the fact she was arguing anyway was inappropriate given her position. She wasn’t just being a dick.

How is she not a stranger? You didn't know anything about her until you had a snoop.

Plus, you're talking about her 'bullying' you, yet you appear to be saying it's fine for you to argue with her, but apparently she mustn't argue back?

Why shouldn't she be allowed her say, just because she's a councillor?

As long as she didn't call you names or anything, she should be allowed just as much of a say as anyone else in that group, whether you happen to agree with her or not.

[greenlobster]

Sounds annoying.
Either tell her to do one and block her, or thank her kindly for brightening your day and send her several dozen cat pics

[CrocodilesCry]

I'd say you're giving it far too much headspace.

Being a councillor doesn't mean she can't have an opinion on Facebook. If you think she brought her party or the council into disrepute that's one thing, but being a councillor doesn't mean she can't disagree with you.

Weird it's still taking up your thoughts a week on - why not forget it and move on?

[Jinglebellissimo]

Facebook has a report function - if you want to report someone for something said on Facebook - that’s what you use. Not calling someone’s employer.

Also - while you’re saying “it’s the subject and who she is” etc, how do we not know you’re an anti vaxer, or were spouting something completely off the wall.

[Tanith]

She's already been reported. The people who have read your posts (and vote!) will have formed their own opinions of her conduct on SM (I bet you're not the only one!).

It's fairly common for councillors - and MPs! - to argue the toss on FB, though. It used to be the letters pages in the local papers.

[beautifulstranger101]

I'd complain. Its highly inappropriate for someone in her position to be doing that. I am very "neutral" on facebook because I have a business and if I express political beliefs or start arguments it will reflect very badly on my business. Sometimes, I really really want to weigh in but i sit on my hands and dont. Because the momentary relief of posting something snarky would wear off very quickly if it starts affecting my livelihood. She's an idiot who should know better in her position. Report her.

[Gingerkittykat]

Report her to her political party if you think her behaviour is bad enough, loads of politicians are made to apologise or step down because of online behaviour.

[Velvetbloomers]

@WorraLiberty it wasn't a difference of opinion.

Sorry, I know it's annoying but it's just be far too outing and lengthy to detail. I thought she'd just got the wrong end of the stick and hadn't read the post fully/properly. But when you added in her position and couple of other things into the context it put a slightly different slant on it, that she fully understood but was being an elitist cow.

It was like she had a real axe to grind but I can't for the life of me think why, also she kept quoting part of what I'd said but without the first or the last part of the sentence. So it had quite a different meaning.

[PlanDeRaccordement]

What if someone snooped /cyber stalked you and then filed a complaint to your employer about your posts on Facebook which you did in your own time off work as a private citizen? You sound terrifying and fascist.

[Velvetbloomers]

Haha @Jinglebellissimo definitely not a crazy anti-vaxer (I've just shelled out 75 quid at Superdrug for the Chickenpox vaccine, can't go through that again!) sorry to disappoint but it was something very mundane really. It's all about the context, you'll have to trust me sorry.

[MakeItRain]

I know it's a bit late now, but my advice is never, ever argue on social media! Completely ignore posts like hers. You don't owe her any response whatsoever. In future just ignore any unkind or annoying responses to your social media posts.

I would do what someone else suggested and delete the post. Then don't give it any more head space.

[LolaSmiles]

A lot depends on the topic and what's been said.

Ultimately it WAS some randomer online until you didn't like it and went snooping on social media to find out more about the random person you've disagreed with (which is odd to be honest).

It seems like you've had a disagreement online and rather than move on you've gone snooping and want to try and score points offline.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I think you're over-reacting a bit. People have arguments on social media all the time and even councillors are allowed to argue with people.

[frumpety]

I have to ask , in what way is she being elitist ?

[Instatwat]

You really, really need to just let this go now. A week later and you’re posting about it (vaguely) on a separate site hoping people will agree with you and joining in the rant?

She sounds like she was a dick but people often are behind a screen. You should have just ignored her when it was apparent that she had misread your post. Don’t attempt to report her to the council, you will look batshit.

[donquixotedelamancha]

I'd complain. Its highly inappropriate for someone in her position to be doing that.

Doing what? All OP has said she did is argue with her.

Bizarre to search for someone over an online disagreement. More bizarre still to complain to the council that they are elected to.

P.S. Please don't find my employer and complain about me because I disagree with you too, OP.

[TitianaTitsling]

It was like she had a real axe to grind mmmm pot calling kettle, come in kettle..
Do you think she should contact your employer as well about you?

[Velvetbloomers]

Sorry @frumpety it'd be far too outing in detail. Think schools, background, education, the post wasn't strictly to do with that though.

[FrivolousPancake]

You sound terrifying and fascist.

My thoughts exactly!

Jesus OP, you had a disagreement on Facebook a week ago. You sound utterly unhinged.

[beautifulstranger101]

Making elitist comments is not just disagreeing. If she has snobby, extreme views then people should know about it. It reflects very poorly on her IMO considering she is meant to serve the general public and she has a role in many of the major decisions that affects people's lives

[Moondust001]

So you have an opinion. And nobody else is entitled to one unless it happens to be the same as yours. And you think this other person is batshit. I'm thinking it's you...