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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious I can’t complain about this woman!

129 replies

Velvetbloomers · 14/12/2019 19:29

really want to post the full details to this but from the outset the reason I won’t is it’ll be very outing.

I posted about something I’m particularly annoyed about on a closed social media forum last week, nothing outrageous or to do with the election 😅, it was asking for some support and for some joined up thinking on tackling it .

Anyway out of the replies one was a tad ‘shirty’, can’t say too much (sorry) but they’d not read the post properly it looked like and had misinterpreted it and was also clearly trying to put me back in my box - based on having not read the post properly. A quick snoop revealed she doesn’t live in the area, no children at school here etc. I explained that sorry but that’s not what it’s regarding and thought that would be that. However she kept arguing the toss and again trying to put me back in my box, I know I should have left it but it’s something I feel quite passionate about and affects my children. So I explained again, but she was doing the thing you see on here where people try and be snooty and misquote to gain the upper hand and again put me back in my box. Worst thing was she has no vested interest in what I was posting about. And given her background I felt she was being quite elitist. I have worked in PR previously so I recognise this well worn MO from certain women like this, and I’m pretty thick skinned.

However it really upset as it seemed like she was deliberately poking. I felt really under attack and just couldn’t understand why she was continuing to have a go, I also must add I don’t know her from Adam.

Anyway further looking revealed two things. She’s a bloody councillor for the council of a neighbouring village - still didn’t understand why she had such a problem with it. This infuriated me as it seemed so, so unprofessional for someone in that position, nearly a week on and I still can’t believe how she was carrying on in a relatively public place given her position. Nothing would have satisfied me more to complain about her conduct, and attitude on the subject given her position.

Se one thing though she is a very good friend of a good (but relatively new a couple of years) friend of mine! I really can’t do anything can I?!? Also mortified if this friend were to find out I’ve been arguing with someone on social media 😂. Even if I was in the right! Pretty surprised they’re friends with such a woman if I’m honest!

OP posts:
Velvetbloomers · 14/12/2019 23:04

@LolaSmiles I’ve said this a few times it wasn’t a difference of opinion at all. She kept repeatedly twisting and misquoting my post - despite it being there in black and white above. And being confrontational when it really wasn’t the type of thing to be confrontational about. It was all so odd.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/12/2019 23:09

You think she was being an elitist snobby cow

She may have thought you were being an oversensitive twat

Either way, you both have the right to your opinions.

What isn't right (in my view) is you thinking she shouldn't argue back with you.

LolaSmiles · 14/12/2019 23:12

It's an online disagreement at root. You chose to engage and to keep engaging. Surely if it's that odd you walk away because it's a huge black hole for time and not worth continuing?

Not continue to engage, decide there must be something more to it, search them on social media, find out their job and then stew for days about how awful they are why you should complain.

9ofpentangles · 16/12/2019 11:33

Give up, op. Even if she'd said line all poor people up against a wall then shoot them, it's fine because it's an online disagreement and you should not overreact

ForrestTrump · 06/09/2020 05:01

I hate this culture of 'telling the teacher' every time somebody disagrees with you.

Jenasaurus · 06/09/2020 05:42

Zombie thread alert

UnpaintedPaint · 06/09/2020 06:35

I don’t think you should put someone’s job in jeopardy over this.
Delete your own posts.
Forget it..

UnpaintedPaint · 06/09/2020 06:35

Damn..I see now ancient thread

LunaLula83 · 06/09/2020 06:51

So call her out on it and do it publically.

ForrestTrump · 06/09/2020 07:01

Change the password, OP!

LaurieFairyCake · 06/09/2020 07:05

Tell everyone, including your new mates Thanks

Megantheestallion · 06/09/2020 07:10

Stop using social media as your soapbox/to have debates.

Complain about her? For what ? Having a different opinion from you and hurting your feelings through her debating style ?

Shut down Facebook and get on with your life.

InfiniteSheldon · 06/09/2020 07:17

How very dare she!! Rude cow arguing with you when you were so obviously right! And as for those saying you were snooping, snooping??? it was your civic duty to track that creature down and hound her for her wrong think. You honestly deserve a medal you brave thing. I can't imagine the awful stress of someone daring to disagree with you no matter how many times you put her right.

Twickerhun · 06/09/2020 07:17

Zombie alert.... I think they’ve all got better things to worry about now.

InfiniteSheldon · 06/09/2020 07:18

Blush that will teach me not to read all the way through the ZOMBIE thread

Relocatingtohome · 06/09/2020 07:20

Delete your post and block her.

TitianaTitsling · 06/09/2020 07:26

I thought was finally going to find out what the difference of opinion was!!

Brefugee · 06/09/2020 07:39

Screenshot and complain. Why are you worried about it being known that it was you?
if she was misquoting you to make a point this is something the people she works for should know. Sometimes you have to stand up and be counted.

Or don't complain anywhere ever about anything...

Brefugee · 06/09/2020 07:41

She kept repeatedly twisting and misquoting my post

what did you do when she did that? did you properly rebut with evidence or did you just say "that's not what i said"?

gamerchick · 06/09/2020 07:46

Ah who dug this up?

Alonetime · 06/09/2020 07:52

I hate this culture of 'telling the teacher' every time somebody disagrees with you.

Do you? Guess what I hate?

lifesalongsong · 06/09/2020 07:55

@ForrestTrump

I hate this culture of 'telling the teacher' every time somebody disagrees with you.
I've got to ask, how did you come across this ancient thread? Confused

Having skimmed the OP's posts I'm a little interested to know if anything more came of it

m0therofdragons · 06/09/2020 07:56

I had similar back in April on a local group. People kept posting “facts” about Covid and the local hospital which were totally untrue but worst, they started with “my brother’s wife works in A&E and when I asked her she said...(private info that would have been a confidentiality breach)”
I simply said that “during this very challenging time, please don’t ask family members who work at the hospital questions as it puts them in an awkward position and could lead to a disciplinary. Luckily, the info provided here is completely inaccurate so I can assume this didn’t come from a staff member anyway so we won’t follow this instance up further.” (My job role meant this was appropriate to speak on behalf of the hospital).
While most people liked my comment, the original poster went for me. I didn’t reply and left the group. I just didn’t need that much nastiness in my life. People are vile behind a screen and you cannot assume they have the same level of intelligence.

m0therofdragons · 06/09/2020 07:57

Ah zombie... why is this on my front page?

Generallybewildered · 06/09/2020 08:02

I’m wondering if you live in the next village to me. This is exactly what my parish councillor would do. And has done many times! Hmm

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