To fear for my disabled DS future in the UK now?

[Livingtothefull]

Just that really.

Despite disabled people bearing the brunt of Tory austerity policies and being criticised by the UN for failing to uphold their rights - www.theguardian.com/society/2017/aug/31/un-panel-criticises-uk-failure-to-uphold-disabled-peoples-rights

• a whole lot of my fellow citizens, knowing this, have gone and voted for a Tory government all the same.

I am scared for my DS future now, I don't trust either the Government or the people of this country to look after him when I am no longer able to. He is profoundly disabled, will have as good a life as his country is willing to give him & I have to say it is not looking good. Is it?

Some people have no idea what it’s like for disabled children under this government. I posted on Facebook about the horrors of the EHCP process and people were absolutely incredulous. They just have no direct experience with it and can’t believe it’s so bad.

Local authorities are currently running a £3bn deficit. That’s predicted to be £8bn by the end of this Tory term. That means special educational provision and social care will take a huge blow, and they’re already on their knees.

How dare anyone say you’re being unreasonable to be afraid when you’re already living it? Disgusting. People need to own their actions.

I voted Tory. Don't you think that by pruning the bloated welfare system that pays wages to fit people (who are being underpaid by their employer) and has stopped being a lifestyle choice (sorry, but it bloody well is atm) will mean it is able to actually do what it is meant to?
People like your child should be cared for, if I had my way it would be in total luxury. Nobody who is severely disabled should be made to 'get by'.
But people who play the system with carefully worked out hours, and refused promotions should be cut off.

This is just absolute nonsense, fuelled by years of propaganda. Benefit fraud rates are very low. The benefit cap is also low - if being on benefits is so bloody wonderful, why doesn’t everyone quit their jobs and go on benefits?

This is about so much more than benefits. How can local authorities provide special educational provision and social care provision when they’re billions in debt? The tories policies mean that debt will almost triple by 2024/5. They have pledged some money to fix potholes though, because our kids mean less to this government than potential damage to cars.

But people who play the system with carefully worked out hours, and refused promotions should be cut off.

Oh I get it, it’s only rich people who are allowed to play the hand they’re dealt with completely legal tax avoidance measures. If poor people play the system that exists in any way so that they can, you know, feed their kids, they’re monsters. Lovely attitude.

I voted Tory. Don't you think that by pruning the bloated welfare system that pays wages to fit people

I don’t think it was bloated actually. The majority of the welfare budget actually goes to pensioners. A quick google will tell you that.

The second biggest chunk is spent on people who have jobs. They’re working.

And the reason we need a welfare state is because, funnily enough, government and business haven’t done enough to ensure wages rise enough so that people can pay for their living costs within their own means.

If the government did enough to ensure that wages were high enough or reduced housing then costs then this wouldn’t be an issue.

How can local authorities provide special educational provision and social care provision when they’re billions in debt? The tories policies mean that debt will almost triple by 2024/5

^this

The Tories have massively increased debt, which, funnily enough will need paying back. How’s that austerity going then?

Absolutely right re local authorities.

Local authorities are mainly funded by central government, not council tax.

Central government cut their funding which impacts on education and on adult social care as well as children social care (which covers those with disabilities).

It’s a shame people don’t do their research before voting.

I do think you are being unreasonable in a way and can see why some people have voted YABU.

You’ve linked to one piece of evidence about one issue and said “but the people of this country don’t care and have voted Tory anyway” (to paraphrase)

People will have considered a whole range of issues when they decided how to vote and I think it is unreasonable to pick one issue and say they voted a certain way because they are callous and uncaring.

If Jeremy Corbyn was to be believed then hardly anyone would have to pay any more tax. But Corbyn supporters at the same time say that people are selfish and all these millions of people voted Tory so they wouldn’t have to pay more tax. So which is it?

People have a whole range of concerns which shape their decisions. Also some people would have paid massively more tax under Labour and would have had to make drastic changes to their lives to afford it. I don’t think it makes you a bad person to not want to do this.

That doesn’t mean people don’t care about disabled children, it just means they have their own reasons for their voting decisions.

@Sleepyblueocean

Thanks. My DSS is moderately disabled, he’s a little beyond a 2 year old with a lot of associates health conditions and physically impaired too (inc vision). It’s not that I don’t understand.

Stegosaurus1990 I don't know how old your dss is but I have found that as mine has got older - he is nearly 14 but functioning around 18 months with asd and severe behaviours that challenge, that large numbers of the general public care less about people like him. When he was younger there was more support whereas now it is a constant battle. You are judged as being an inadequate parent purely for having a child with his sort of difficulties. The fact that you have got him to that point healthy and without major incident is ignored.

Professionals often don't want to accept that you are the expert on your child. I don't trust others to make the best decisions about what my child needs ( because they have been proven wrong in the past) so I don't want more gatekeepers in the way of what he needs.

My sister is an adult with a severe developmental disability. She has a developmental age of about 15 months, is non-verbal, entirely dependent on someone to look after her. So one of the most vulnerable in society, much like your son.

She lives in supported living fully funded by the state. She is very happy. She has not been negatively impacted by austerity in the slightest. It's not inevitable that a Tory government means your son won't get the care he needs, despite the high state of anxiety so many people seem to be in. I've not seen any difference in her care under Labour or the Tories and I'm not worried. So, and I mean it kindly, I think you are over-reacting here.

Yanbu. I think the main problem is that people in general are selfish. We have more vulnerable people than ever before thanks to people living longer and premature/sick babies surviving. Which is brilliant and I will forever be grateful that my 91 year old grandad is still with us and my premature babies survived. But many of these people need care and money and it all needs paying for somehow. So many times I have read on here about people wanting their childcare to be cheaper, prescriptions to be free etc. And then you get replies from people who think because that issue doesn't affect them personally then they don't want "their" tax being spent on it. People want better care for people in hospital, better education for our children but at the same time they don't want to pay people a fair wage, don't want to pay more tax and don't want to sell their houses to pay for their care home. They want highly qualified people teaching their children and nursing them/their relatives but they don't want them to be paid a decent wage.

We need to take better care of our vulnerable people, to pay everyone a fair wage. We need to put a cap on the amount private landlords can charge, stop zero hours contracts and everyone needs to pay more tax.

i think post like Speckledhen10 prove that people really don't understand. they think cos a disabled person gets benefits they are having a "good standard of living"
they do not realise that being disabled cost more. they probably think it will never happen to them.
(if you’re using the money wisely and not on frivolities) is beyond insulting.
cameron started it by shutting down debate and pretending he was a carer.
god help us all.

@Sleepyblueocean

I agree, but I don’t agree with the OP Torres having made it all worse.

ruralliving19 some of the most vulnerable disabled children in my area get no short breaks or respite because the LA cannot afford provision for them. Their parents are told if they cannot cope with no support they will have to ask for their child to go into care ( calculating that most parents won't do that).

Any 'playing the system' should be stopped. I also think things like winter fuel allowance to wealthy pensioners should stop etc.
Welfare shouldn't be so utterly common. It's for those in actual need, not a 'top up' or nice little extra.

I guess as a true-blue Tory I'll never believe in handouts for the sake of it.
It was Labour who made it an 'entitlement' rather than a safety net.

I am a carer to daughter with asd and other illnesses and disabilities. My other daughter suffers from anxiety, probably because I stayed in an abusive marriage too long.

I am scared but more the fact that I have my own ill health. I would have got incapacity benefit and dla years ago but I failed to advocate for myself. I only have the strength to get through the days and all my strength goes on getting my daughters what they need.

I should have sorted it out years ago but with the last 8 years of UC and the change from dla to pip, the scrap of incapacity and the rise of atos. I gave up before I began. I had so many appts and forms to fill in for my daughter that I just couldn't be bothered to do it for myself.

It was hard enough getting treatment for ocd, antenatal depression, Hg in pregnancy, pnd, depression, insomnia etc etc. I have a blood disorder that the NHS ignores etc etc. I lay awake thinking what can I do.

I just about found the strength to leave, divorce and move 100 miles away. Bit I don't think anyone understands how hard that is to do when you suffer from ocd and anxiety and when you have kids with asd and anxiety. It has killed us all in so many ways. The fact that I've had no support with domestic violence services and even victim support never got back to me.

Now I regret not finding that extra years ago as was needed within myself, as the current system is so much harder and having just sat through a 2 hour health assessment to get my daughter, to be put in the right group for universal credit. I cannot go through that again.

So my needs are last. My anxiety, depression and old get worse. I have lots of physical illnesses too which ebb and flow but just try to stay mentally as strong as possible to carry on for my two girls.

I have no idea what to do next. This election showed me how little the majority care.

I won't bother try to get anymore financial help for me as I can't put myself through those appts. We are OK actually financially as I mived to a cheaper area but have no friends or family here, if my daughter is ever is independent then I will be poor and dead.

As it is she is dependent on me but she also looks after me in her own way. She doesn't care to do dirty jobs on days I can't manage it, like picking up autumn leaves (if her back allows).

It's a sad situation on the UK right now.

And just want to add that the only reason we are okay financially as I am naturally frugal and savvy and every spare item or unwanted item gets sold on eBay or gumtree. On good days I just get things sold to keep money ticking along.

People who really believe the the current disability benefits are enough to live on are lying to themselves or they don't care, as evident by some posters on this thread.

Invited YABU but not for being worried about your son's future, but because you seem convinced that things would be much better if Corbyn was in power. I don't believe this is the case. I think he was full of promises that he wouldn't have been able to sustain.

I do strongly believe that DLA/PIP need to be reviewed. I think it has become to easily accessible to some people and yet not enough funds for those who really need that extra money. There is not enough a difference in funding between those who actually have little use for extra money to support their mild disabilities and those who have severe disorders and have a genuine need for more support, financially and emotionally.

I genuinely hope the government will provide more support to parents like you.

Welfare shouldn't be so utterly common. It's for those in actual need, not a 'top up' or nice little extra.

You really don’t get it do you? It’s “utterly common” because work doesn’t pay a living wage for huge numbers of people. As tax payers we are subsiding private companies so they can take more profits and don’t have to pay a living wage because the government steps in. Why on Earth would this make you angry at the people who need the benefits rather than the politicians and businesses who perpetuate and enable this situation?

I do strongly believe that DLA/PIP need to be reviewed. I think it has become to easily accessible to some people and yet not enough funds for those who really need that extra money. There is not enough a difference in funding between those who actually have little use for extra money to support their mild disabilities and those who have severe disorders and have a genuine need for more support, financially and emotionally.

Wow. This is so far removed from the reality of the situation.

Those with mild disabilities which don’t impact them financially do not get PIP or DLA. And there are levels depending on severity.

Too easily accessible? You are insane.

No, I'm not insane, it is my belief based on my own working experience, which I won't go into details on this forum, but that gets me very close to people with both milder and more severe disabilities. It is also the views of most of my colleagues.

Filling in the application form for DLA is far from accessible. it is about 70 pages long and it is a barrier to claiming in itself.
My son is ASD and you have to fight tooth and nail to access any support what so ever.
I also hate the term mild disability, I think this covers impairments that are mostly invisible. For the person with this disability it is not mild because it impacts on every aspect of their lived, even if they appear to be holding it together on the exterior

To the public as a whole, disabled kids are heartbreaking, tragic, cute little things who need and deserve all sorts of help.
But once they become adults, the mood shifts. They're not cute innocents anymore. They're pointless and inconcenvenient and a bit sad. The attitude seems to be "look, we took care of them as kids but they're adults now. If they still cant function then what's the point of them". Its a little bit Nazi like when you see how the public and government treat severely disabled adults... like if culling where considered totally acceptable then I would be worried.

It's a disgusting thing to say, but the treatment of those adults backs it up. That's what you're fighting against.

@BoswellSolver

But what happens when wages do not increase at the same rate as the cost of living. What do people do? How do they afford to live?
We need people working in shops, we need people entering on the bottom rung of the NHS, we need people working in sanitation, we need teaching assistants.. the lost goes on and on. But the pay for those jobs is too low to provide any decent standard of living because cost of living has increased so much.
What do you suggest?

I voted Tory. Don't you think that by pruning the bloated welfare system that pays wages to fit people
the uk welfare system is a disgrace . coming from
a different european country, i’m always shocked about the extremes of poverty that are common in the uk.
Having a child with SENDs, i’m very had we can afford to support him privately (and its luckily mild enough that with enough early support he should be fine later on). but that you need to spend the amount of money we do (state system offers 15 minutes a week) in a well ofg country is a disgrace. we can and we do, but other kids with less fortunate parents have no chance.

I totally agree that wages have become ridiculously low. I personally think freedom of movement has a part to play here, 8 men sharing a flat with no dependants and very few overheads can work for subsistence wages whereas an average dad, husband with a family car and house to run can't.
Once the flow of workers has been reduced to skilled, required people only, companies will then (hopefully) be forced to compete for people again, and wages is how they do that.
I also hope housing gets freed up.

I know I will be flamed for this post, but I really think it's a numbers thing here. Fewer people is the answer.