Little mousey fuckers have eaten all the stocking fillers

[avocadoze]

One large Lindt bear
Four bags of chocolate coins
Two marzipan logs
One tube of smarties
Box of heroes
Tube of chocolate buttons
Tray of Reece’s treats
The cotton bag the coins were in

Little shredded bits of foil, plastic and paper all over the cupboard. Cat gives me a nonchalant look and goes back to sleep.

AIBU to fire the cat, go through all our food cupboards to check for recon mice and engage in all-our war with the little buggers?

Shall I send him over?

@justcly impressive poser you’ve got there

If it was possible for a cat to be hot, yours would fit the bill justcly What a handsome feline!

He's a proper mouser too. Would you believe me if I told you he is twenty?

I wouldn’t. Because bad kitty is sixteen and looks much older. He looks about 4 or 5 and I’m impressed that at 20 he’s still mousing

Loving all the cat pics.

We use these for rats

And these for mice. Only things that have worked.

Like lots of people have said, please don't use sticky traps.

Alternatively, just eat the chocolate.

Off to Lidl for marzipan logs...

Really Redannie118? Must be true, I'm swamped with the fuckers. Big Cheese snappers do well but I desperately need a cat. If only I could tolerate one.

Someone suggested a ferret! But somehow I suspect I'd be allergic to those too.

We use the cake bait, not grains. Stays in the box. Quick and not smelly solution.

@avocadoze

I think he has a picture in the attic.

@justcly
He definitely has the look of ‘do not fuck with me’ down 😻😻

I don't get cats. We had one as a child but he didn't penetrate our souls like the dogs did. They seem a bit like an abusive partner, everything on their terms.

Humane traps although they need to be released at least 1 mile from your house to stop them coming back

@TurnipToffee

It's a political issue. Once you understand that all cats are fascists, you'll get along just fine. As long as you know your place and do as you're told, that is.

The Cheshire family cat isn't actually too bad at catching things, particularly considering she's managed to fall off the couch and a chair recently, but honestly it's mostly her scent that got rid of the mice in an old house. The fecking thing kept running between our house and next door, but it relocated permanently after we got our lump.

Mandatory photo

Is anyone else looking at justcly's cat and hearing Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots...?

I didn’t think snap traps were fast enough to deal with an infestation. Poison under the kitchen units got rid of our last infestation in a couple of days. That was a few months ago now. No smell or bluebottles.

We don’t have pets right enough. We do have small children but they can’t get to the bit underneath the kitchen units.

I left a whole unopened packet of those Heinz baby biscotti biscuits in the changing bag in the hall once. I could hear the fuckers eating them from the living room. Was too squeamish to go and deal. When I looked the next day the whole packet was gone. I binned the changing bag

I can lend you mine for a few days. He's a serial killer.

No smell or bluebottles.

According to the pest control man I had out a few years ago, they usually mummify. I think it maybe something in the poison?

Yes, Weeds. And I think you might be next on his hit list for making him wear that hat.

Someone suggested a ferret! But somehow I suspect I'd be allergic to those too.

And they stink Catherine - even neutered and frequently bathed, they absolutely STINK!

And I speak as a ferret-lover.

@DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn:

He's actually called Inigo Montoya, but we call him Monty for short.

Queen Cranberry has said that she is happy to offer her mousing services. She's excellent at frenzied slaughter, and she'll even eat the mouse to save you disposal, but you may have to clean up the guts because she doesn't like eating them.

This is, of course, providing she can be bothered to leave her castle...