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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that this isn't the best outfit for school?!

143 replies

User3billion · 14/12/2019 13:28

Went into school for an assembly on our school's Christmas jumper day & one of the staff had a jumper dress on & boot style shoes (photos attached from a website so not actual staff member).

Aibu in thinking that it isn't really appropriate) practical for school when you're teaching small children?

I know "clothes are clothes" & all that but can't help feeling this was a bit much.

To think that this isn't the best outfit for school?!
OP posts:
Pinkshoelace · 15/12/2019 16:07

I personally think it's odd to go bare-legged in a short dress, especially at this time of year. I'd be freezing, it makes me feel cold just thinking about it.

You'd think the shoes would rub her feet as well, as she can't have been wearing socks if they were peep toe boots or you would have seen them.

Makes me wonder if she had been wearing thick tights but got a snag in them and felt she had to take them off?

Thefaceofboe · 15/12/2019 16:08

*Give over.

It's hardly a reindeer thong.*

Grin
IHeartKingThistle · 15/12/2019 16:10

Wouldn't be OK in my school (secondary). I am a 'kooky' dresser but at secondary, pushing the boundaries of strangeness or scruffiness is one thing, and pushing the boundaries of appropriateness is quite another, for obvious reasons. No cleavage, no midriff, no thighs. It's not hard.

LolaSmiles · 15/12/2019 16:12

pink
Or the dress was longer than that photo and so she was genuinely warm enough.

My classroom gets hot and I was wearing cullottes until I went on maternity leave at the end of November.

The problem with this the is we can't actually give helpful advice without knowing the exact outfit, which the OP can't give us so there's always going to be 3 views:

  1. Totally inappropriate because no teacher should ever show their knees
  2. It could be inappropriate, or OP and her friends could be bitches
  3. How dare you police what women wear, slut shaming is old news, it does matter what she wears. OP and her mates are probably jealous of how good looking the teacher is.
lazylinguist · 15/12/2019 16:23

Imagine being the type of person who thinks what material someone puts on their body has an impact on their teaching skills. It must be so embarrassing to be you, OP.

Oh don't be so stupid. Nobody is suggesting that your clothes affect your teaching skills. It is perfectly normal for schools to have a dress code. I have been a teacher for 25 years. In none of the many schools I've worked in (private, state, secondary, primary) would it have been acceptable to turn up in a dress that short. Or in jeans and trainers.

The only bitchiness I can see on this thread is from people claiming the OP must be jealous.

duckyolucky · 15/12/2019 16:24

@LolaSmiles In my previous life before dc, I worked in fashion. More acceptable to wear a tutu that a black suit in one office!

I'm confused by the comments that the school mums are jealous because the teacher must be gorgeous. What does that have to do with the outfit? DC1s TA is so pretty & has a fantastic figure but that's clearly obvious regardless of the fact she wears jumpers & jeans most days.

TheSquitz · 15/12/2019 21:43

I hate the usual 'it's just jealousy' shite. That was the pathetic response levelled at MP Clare Short when she tried to get the topless pictures on page 3 of The Sun banned. I assumed that men would accuse a woman of being jealous in this instance, but apparently not.

LousiaHearth · 15/12/2019 21:44

Bloody Hell! That’s Disgusting! If I turned up to Sainsbury’s Wearing that’s I’d be fired on the spot!

LolaSmiles · 15/12/2019 22:17

duckyolucky
It's different norms and expectations for different jobs isn't it?

I think the jealousy comments have some merit because it could be a case of bitchy playground gossips being unpleasant about someone wearing a reasonable Christmas jumper dress and boots. The whole people saying they could see her knickers is the sort of bitchy comment that's exaggeration.

Or, it could be statement of fact in that her dress really did come too short, in which case "you're just jealous" is silly shorthand for claiming feminism is about validating whatever a woman does.

It's more likely that the teachers outfit is not like the original photosl and some parents are gossiping, but there's a chance it is an inappropriate outfit

Booboostwo · 16/12/2019 06:26

LolaSmiles if you think that the predominant cultural norm is different dress requirements for different jobs rather than different dress requirements for men and women you live on the moon. How often have you seen a man’s attire being criticized for being too revealing, inappropriate or even for leading other on? Men expose their butt cracks regularly, e.g. builders, plumbers, gardeners - where are those extra long t-shirts and extra high waist trousers designed to protect their dignity? How many men rave about having just discovered dungarees, this most wonderfully modesty protecting garment? And how many men are told that he just should be bending over wearing that at his age/weight?

FizzyIce · 16/12/2019 07:24

If it was a high school teacher then yeah but primary ? No but it’s not something I’d wear anyway

Bluntness100 · 16/12/2019 07:42

Of course it could be jealousy. Or it could be it as inappropriate none of us know. All we can say is the outfit posted is not inappropriate.

Yes, it could have been different and so short you could see her knickers, and that would be inappropriate clearly. Some how I doubt it though.

Or if it wasn't then yes equally it could just be a bunch of jealous gossipy women who were put out because she looked attractive and got attention.

Let's face it, it's hardly unheard of. Some women can be really bad for pulling this shit on other women. And it needs to stop. This judgement, this attacking other women because of their appearance.

CanICelebrate · 16/12/2019 07:52

I must admit I am sometimes surprised at how short the dresses are on some of my dc’s teachers in primary school. It doesn’t seem appropriate to me (and no I’m not jealous - I am also a teacher and have a good figure and lovely work clothes).

BlouseAndSkirt · 16/12/2019 07:54

It's hardly a reindeer thong

Are reindeer thongs a thing? Where can I get one? (Asking for a friend)

LolaSmiles · 16/12/2019 08:28

LolaSmiles if you think that the predominant cultural norm is different dress requirements for different jobs rather than different dress requirements for men and women you live on the moon. How often have you seen a man’s attire being criticized for being too revealing, inappropriate or even for leading other on?
I'm not disputing that women are judged more.
But what I am saying is in this situation the question isn't about gender, it's about whether bare legs and a dress is appropriate for a school. And that will come down to the length of the dress and how practical it is for a primary school.

In schools, in my experience there's not so much an issue with male dress because they tend to have to wear a suit, trousers and shirt and that's about it. There's a lot more flexibility in women's attire, which I'd like to see men have actually so they can wear chinos and tops instead of suits in summer etc, but with that flexibility it's not unheard of for people to wear outfits that aren't appropriate for a school.

It could well be (and I think it's most likely) that there was nothing wrong with the outfit and that the OP and her friends are just being bitchy, but it could also be that the outfit wasn't appropriate for a school environment and that's equally valid.

And I can't stand men with arse cracks on show. I'm all up for criticising that.

Chewysmum · 16/12/2019 09:21

If I was young and slim I'd have worn something similar, whether it was a primary school or a supermarket, seriously don't see what your issue is? Unless she had her boobs hanging out or her thong on show to the kids then why should you care what anyone wears?

hoxtonbabe · 16/12/2019 09:36

Whilst the teachers at my sons school have never worn anything that short ( although personally I don’t see what the issue is as long as she had on tights as bare legged and bending over to get something might be a but much) everything else goes.

Jeans and trainers was a staple at my sons primary and they would have looked seriously odd if they wore a skirt and blouse or a tailored trousers and a shirt from TM Lewin

CanICelebrate · 16/12/2019 09:40

I think a teacher’s arse hanging out or thighs on display is not appropriate or professional. My school actually has a dress code/ policy for staff which we mostly stick too.

CanICelebrate · 16/12/2019 09:41

There are many professions where a short dress wouldn’t be deemed appropriate. Male teachers usually have to wear a suit and tie so why should women look so casual.

hazeyjane · 16/12/2019 09:44

Is it secondary or primary?
If it's secondary with a uniform policy like dd's, I'd think it was a bit much as girls are given uniform marks leading to detention for inappropriate skirt length.
If it was primary I'd think it was a bit impractical, because the op said it was short enough to be showing knickers.
Surely flashing underwear is inappropriate in most jobs, for men or women.

MiniGuinness · 16/12/2019 09:46

It’s a reverse. Maybe you are a bit self conscious of your big dimpled arse, but you still know the actual dress was fine.

hazeyjane · 16/12/2019 09:49

JKScot4
Bet OP and her chums are those parents in moaning when their bratty little Arabella/Arthur gets told off.I’m glad I don’t know these tunic/leggings bitches.

Nice attitude.

Sawwhet · 16/12/2019 10:27

If she wore that to a secondary school all she'd get are teen boys leering over her as she bent over desks to help with work, and they will assume she wants that attention and is aware of it. But you never know, she might enjoy getting sexual attention from teen boys, some women do.

Sawwhet · 16/12/2019 10:36

And before anyone says I'm just jealous, I'm young and slim enough to wear that!
And I would wear it, I actually like the outfit, just not to a teaching job.

LolaSmiles · 16/12/2019 11:35

Sawwhet
I don't think you can read into it that a secondary teacher would love attention from boys
Its much more likely to be poor professional judgement if an outfit is genuinely inappropriate.

However some women are just bitchy. I've had some really catty comments made by an older former colleague about what I wore to work. She had form for being bitchy to younger female members of staff whilst worshipping younger male colleagues. 🤮
She told a colleague that their office dress was the wrong fabric (lovely smart chiffon shirt dress, fully lined, worn with a blazer and flats, a very smart and professional outfit). I was told that my blazer was "too quirky and set the wrong tone"