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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this isn't the best outfit for school?!

143 replies

User3billion · 14/12/2019 13:28

Went into school for an assembly on our school's Christmas jumper day & one of the staff had a jumper dress on & boot style shoes (photos attached from a website so not actual staff member).

Aibu in thinking that it isn't really appropriate) practical for school when you're teaching small children?

I know "clothes are clothes" & all that but can't help feeling this was a bit much.

To think that this isn't the best outfit for school?!
OP posts:
cantkeepawayforever · 14/12/2019 15:08

Just a bit chilly for playground duty, I would have thought....

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 14/12/2019 15:12

It's one day. It might be impractical but it's hardly indecent. I'd think "she'll be chilly" and think no further on it unless there is some incident where she accidentally stamps on a child's hand!

ThinkIamflyingundertheradar · 14/12/2019 15:19

I’m sure if the outfit was inappropriate a senior member of staff will have had a quiet word in her ear.

RhiWrites · 14/12/2019 15:23

I really like it. I’d wear it with tights though. Maybe those new fleece lined tights that look see through.

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 14/12/2019 15:24

Oooh, that's ADORABLE! If I was 20 years younger (and 15 lbs lighter) I'd wear that in a shot!

As long as she could perform her job duties safely, competently, and without flashing her knickers I don't see a problem.

messolini9 · 14/12/2019 15:26

Yeah, never mind about a woman's teaching, administrative or pastoral skills - let's get the sisterhood to eat itself by piling on to another woman's clothing choice.

Is you kid happy, learning, & safe?
Does this member of staff's dress sense impact on your child, or their ability to stay happy, learning & safe?

Fucksake.

cobwebsoncornices · 14/12/2019 15:28

Maybe that was the only Christmassy outfit she had and she didn't want to or couldn't afford to buy another. Maybe she felt self conscious all day knowing it was a bit inappropriate and hoped no one would judge her for it.
Personally, I find it ridiculous that Save the Children do this every year when a large number of the jumpers being worn are made by children in sweatshops in various third world countries.

messolini9 · 14/12/2019 15:29

It's not exactly professional

It's Xmas Jumper Day.
Nobody will be looking "professional", @fairybeagle.

Frenchw1fe · 14/12/2019 15:32

I once turned up to work at a health clinic and my colleague turned up in Pudsey pyjamas because it was Children in Need day. It was so unprofessional.

She looked dreadful and I felt so embarrassed. We only saw adults, mostly elderly, and they had no clue why she was wearing pyjamas.
That jumper dress other than a tad short looks quite nice.

TheTruthAboutLove · 14/12/2019 15:34

I think it looks lovely? I don’t get why it would be inappropriate? Unless you’re the type of person who thinks we still live in Victorian times and woman must not show flesh...

BoomBoomsCousin · 14/12/2019 16:11

YANBU itdoes seem too short to be practical at work - especially work with young children that can reasonably be expected to involve a fair bit of getting down to their level. But it also seems like the sort of mistake a young woman might make a couple of times as she tries to navigate the different and contradictory expectations placed on women. So I wouldn’t do more than double take unless she was always dressed like this.

zeeboo · 14/12/2019 16:22

Utterly inappropriate and I can see our head telling the staff member to go home and change.
If it's worn with thick tights then it's fine but bare legs and heels that high at school? Nope.

KaptainKaveman · 15/12/2019 08:05

She should have worn a full length dress and bonnet. The vulgarity and whoreishness of modern women disgusts me.

Booboostwo · 15/12/2019 08:25

Stop slut shaming women for their choice of clothes. Just stop.

Armi · 15/12/2019 08:51

I don’t think it’s appropriate. This being MN of course you have a thread of people saying the woman is entitled to wear whatever she wants, even if she looks a complete state, whatever the context.

Cheap and tacky, in my view.

LolaSmiles · 15/12/2019 08:51

Whats with all the "slut shaming", "should she be wearing Victorian dress", "I can't see why it could be an issue"?

There's different attire expectations for different situations. I wouldn't dress for work in a school the way I'd dress if going for drinks with friends or going to the gym because the contexts are different. Offline everyone knows this. Online there's some weird desire to pretend that commenting on attire is inevitably some sort of nasty anti-woken agenda.

Jumper dress and boots could look lovely with bare legs depending on the length of the dress, style of shoe etc (though bare legs would be a bit chilly). And in that situation a few playground parents being spiteful about seeing her knickers is just nasty gossip.

It could also be far too short and impractical, the heeled boots not suited for primary school working and the overall outfit could easily be unsuitable for a school workplace. In that situation whilst playground gossip isn't nice, the principle of the outfit being inappropriate for school would be reasonable.

It could be either. Pretending that the latter situation couldn't possibly happen and to notice or comment is to slut shame or be awful is just silly.

Cremebrule · 15/12/2019 10:03

Year 6 probably not an issue. If ages a reception teacher then it’s not going to have been a brilliant choice for sitting in the floor. Maybe she had rights on but laddered them.

Booboostwo · 15/12/2019 11:11

LolaSmiles you can't possibly have missed the fact that culturally, women's dress appropriateness is critiqued much more often than men's and that the basis of the critique is that women should be more modest, less sexual and less provocative. It is not a level playing field and it is not judged on neutral grounds.

LolaSmiles · 15/12/2019 11:33

Booboostwo
I haven't missed that at all. It's why I think the likelihood is that the comments about seeing her knickers absolutely smack of parents gossiping in the playground, probably due to a member of staff looking good because they're bitchy.

But the bottom line is that in a school (as in any professional environment) there's expectations of dress. For example male staff in secondary schools are often expected to wear suits etc. It wouldn't be acceptable for me to go to work in jeans.

There's a big difference between judging a woman's clothing in general and commenting on whether an outfit is workplace attire.

Personally, I couldn't give a damn about the outfit. It's not my style but it's nice. But whether jumper dress and boots with bare legs is appropriate or not in a primary school setting will depend on the nature of the shoes and the length of the dress. As we were told as trainees nobody should be able to see up our clothing, down our clothing or through out clothing were basic common sense. Beyond that formality was set school to school.

It's a bit like one of my former colleagues had to be told their shoes weren't appropriate for working in a secondary school. They were platformed heels and the member of staff was always tottering around, which is fine, until they were late to break duty, held up movement in the corridors at lesson changeover, in a fire drill they had to navigate two flights of stairs and assemble on the field etc. She claimed it was sexism but it really wasn't; her shoe choice was inappropriate.

Sagradafamiliar · 15/12/2019 12:50

Disgusting. Will she not think of the children, I can almost visualise her ankles ffs. Fuming.

Booboostwo · 15/12/2019 13:18

LolaSmiles I am an academic, everyone wants whatever they were, plenty of geniuses walk around campus looking decidedly scruffy. No one cares, our job is not about our looks, it’s about our brains.
If a person cannot walk around their job site Because of their shoe choice and their job requires walking then yes there is a legitimate issue, but nothing like that is the case here. Posters are also going out of heir way to invent reasons why the dress is impractical. Our (wonderful) kindergarten teacher never sits on the floor with the children because she has a bad knee and yet she manages to teach from a small chair. This teacher could easily do the same while wearing this dress.

Male stuff might be expected to wear suits but no one discusses whether the PE teacher’s shorts are too short and he is exposing too much flesh!

DM1209 · 15/12/2019 13:20

These kind of threads do warm my heart! I'm certain the lady in question looked fantastic and that is what bothered the probably 'leggings and fleeces' brigade mums.

Before I get lynched, there is NOTHING wrong with leggings and a fleece, I own several myself. Would I be seen dead in them out in public, no.
Do I think anyone who chooses to dress like that is in any way inferior to me, no.

I'm a 39 year old mum to 3 children. I work in a professional role I ALWAYS make an effort with my appearance and I also get gossiped about by other mums for the way I dress and the way I look. I take it as a compliment!

The joke here is, I'm certain this teacher is wonderful at her job and her choice of footwear and dress is what gets noticed and torn down.

Some women are so, so bitchy to one another, there is no universal sisterhood.

OP you sound, wait for it..... jealous.
I'm certain most people didn't even care and if they did, it was probably to note how nice she looked.

Roll on short dresses and heels! If you've got it, you know the rest.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 15/12/2019 13:21

I think that’s an adorable outfit and I’ve I was 30yrs younger I’d definitely wear it. When I read the title I was expecting something really skimpy.

JKScot4 · 15/12/2019 13:24

I can see the group of overweight smock n leggings mummy’s bitching about a young attractive woman wearing a fun outfit for a fun day.
Get a grip!

Whatsername177 · 15/12/2019 13:24

I actually think it is inappropriate. I think teachers should dress conservatively. I am a teacher and I'm always conscious that young teenagers can feel a) uncomfortable and b) take the piss out of any outfit I wear. I'd sooner they joke about me being a black cardigan wearing frump than joke about seeing my legs/boobs/bum.