Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your revenge ideas

113 replies

questionquestion1 · 13/12/2019 23:48

Have been very very badly hurt by now ex boyfriend.

I want him to suffer in the way I have and am suffering.

People always say 'oh karma will catch up with them,' in such situations but I have never ever seen that happen. Bad people always seem to get away with things, damage others and suffer no consequences.

I also do not believe that you get revenge by 'living your best life' which is an often trotted out line.

So this is not about whether I should or shouldn't seek revenge, I know for sure I want to; I'm just looking for inspiration from others who have done likewise who can share inspiration.

He does not have a car here so cannot key it and are not in the same house so cannot put tuna in the curtains or whatever it is, so just looking for other ideas.

(Name change for obvious reason; I can assure you my post is real.)

OP posts:
RoonyTunes · 14/12/2019 05:41

A good friend’s partner and father of their kids cheated on her and left. We spent many a happy hour plotting revenge over a bottle or two of wine. I would text her random ideas for stuff she could do when she was down, it made her laugh. She didn’t actually do anything so didn’t put herself at risk of getting in trouble but it was very cathartic. I suggest you do the same, he really isn’t worth the risk.

sashh · 14/12/2019 05:47

Letter saying he has had contact with someone with a sexually transmitted disease and that he should arrange a visit to a GUM clinic. I actually know the friend of someone this was done to, made worse by her mother working at the GUM clinic. They did confess before she made the appointment.

Have things delivered to him COD.

Arrange early alarm calls if these still exist.

If you have an embarrassing / not very good pic of him have it printed as a post card and send it to his work.

I agree with plan the revenge, write it down and burn it.

eaglejulesk · 14/12/2019 05:48

Plan revenge all you like, but don't do it. Just let it go and move on with your life. Getting revenge just shows him how much you have been affected, if you do nothing and just get on with your life it will show him that you really don't care and he wasn't that important.

Sockypuppet · 14/12/2019 06:12

May I ask how old you are OP?

Because I really have found that mean people get what they deserve, every time. It just takes longer than you think.

It's not trite that "living well is the best revenge". It's absolutely true!

PurrBox · 14/12/2019 06:16

I imagine that revenge, like punishment, needs to fit the crime, for it to feel good. You want to have the feeling that he got what he deserved in some small way, perhaps that something happened to him that forced him to feel awful, maybe even forced him to think about what he did to you.

If you feel like telling people about him, you might get replies that are more to your taste. Otherwise, almost everyone will annoyingly keep telling you the same things you asked them not to say in your OP.

I don't think you want to talk about his awfulness though, and I am not saying that you should! Sorry you are suffering Sad

Sockypuppet · 14/12/2019 06:24

It is possible to report someone anonymously for tax fraud. Just saying.

nononever · 14/12/2019 06:28

He does not have a car here so cannot key it

Sounds as if he did the right thing by splitting with you and by doing something equally as stupid as the above would only underline to him that he was well rid of you.

PhilCornwall1 · 14/12/2019 07:53

@questionquestion1

If you are going to go down this pointless route, just be extremely careful that you don't damage anything, do anything that can construed as harassment, etc. It could seriously backfire and cause you future problems.

Deep breath and sensible head on. Don't end up suffering more for five seconds of thinking you feel better because you got him back.

PokeThePoker · 14/12/2019 08:05

He was horrible to you - don't give him anymore rent free time in your head. People give the 'live your best life' advice because it's true.

Find a way to heal and live to your fullest. You won't need to think about him when you're happy. Plus, if he was mean, I'll bet he made comments about what you couldn't do, or would never be able to achieve without him? Prove him wrong!

Sargass0 · 14/12/2019 08:07

Get loads of gay porn sent to his house or work

Why would that be revenge? That's saying that it's somehow shameful to be gay? How twattish! And the fact that OP has responded to that one.....

Tattooedmama · 14/12/2019 08:08

Be careful you dont do anything that could get you arrested, because in his mind he will be laughing at your inability to let go.
Honestly, moving on and living the best life is karma

Think about it Flowers

PhoneLock · 14/12/2019 08:18

in his mind he will be laughing at your inability to let go

Everybody will be laughing at you for your inability to let go.

MuchBetterNow · 14/12/2019 08:30

I can't believe you would have considered keying his car if he had one. That's really horrible and criminal damage is a serious offence.

You sound very immature op. You're not unique, we've all been badly shafted at times in our lives, you can't go around exacting revenge for every slight, real or imagined. It's pointless and exhausting. Grow up and move on.

Pinkblueberry · 14/12/2019 08:31

To be honest, how horrible he was has become irrelevant at this point. OP is hardly a saint herself. What a disgusting thing to be considering and posting. I think having vengeful thoughts is normal - activity asking for advice on how to hurt someone is not. Revenge does not bring closure - it’s just a contuing cycle that will certainly come back around to bite you. As a PP has pointed out, the joke will ultimately be on you for wasting your time obsessing and not being able to get on with your life.

Pinkblueberry · 14/12/2019 08:36

Thank you for joining AA, weightwatchers/ gamblers anonymous/living positively+
Whatever will embarrass him.

A bit like the gay porn thing... why should anyone be ashamed or embarrassed about any of the above things - doing things to better yourself (unlike the OP - maybe she needs to join crazy ex anonymous...)

Bluntness100 · 14/12/2019 08:36

Honestly op, you're not going to be able to hurt him like he hurt you and doing something daft like sending him gay porn will just make him think he had a lucky escape. He's going to know it was you, whatever you do. And he's either going to be laughing at you or cringing for you.

Don't go there, retain your dignity.

MuchBetterNow · 14/12/2019 08:38

Even the so called glitter bombs are nasty, I had a look at the website and the whole premise is a company that maliciously pranks someone on your behalf while you remain anonymous, that's so shitty.

Someone up thread claiming they put hair remover in a shampoo bottle? Probably bollocks but you could blind someone by doing that.

That quote about "when you plot revenge first dig two graves, the second one is for yourself" is very apt on this thread.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 14/12/2019 08:40

Did you have a name change fail earlier, OP?

MuchBetterNow · 14/12/2019 08:42

I think she did, I noticed that too.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 14/12/2019 08:44

Where's the name change? I scrolled through and don't think she has.

ohwheniknow · 14/12/2019 08:44

He's going to know it was you, whatever you do. And he's either going to be laughing at you or cringing for you.

And quite possibly thinking, "brilliant, now I can get her done for harassment".

Having the police on your doorstep or arresting you won't make you feel better.

Marnie76 · 14/12/2019 08:45

#sagass0 yeah my thoughts too. I didn’t realise being gay was something to be embarrassed about.

And #sockpuppet not a lot of point reporting someone for tax fraud unless they have committed it. HMRC do like a a few plausible facts before they investigate or they’d be inundated.

MuchBetterNow · 14/12/2019 08:47

The post by which1 at 01.16 seems a bit odd if it wasn't the op.

redcarbluecar · 14/12/2019 08:52

Get revenge by cutting him out of your life, moving on and taking care of yourself. If you do something that makes you look needy or foolish, you’ll feel worse. I like the suggestion a PP made of plotting your revenge and then symbolically burning it.

dayswithaY · 14/12/2019 09:00

But all these things - dog poo on doorstep, things sent through the post etc - he will instantly know it was you. Wouldn't you rather be that amazing girl that he dumped - the one that got away, the one that lingers in his memory - than the dick that sent him postcards from Weightwatchers? Move on and in a year's time you might be embarrassed that you ever thought petty acts of revenge might help you.

The hair remover in shampoo bottle must be an urban myth - it's too thick to be easily squeezed out and the over powering smell is a dead giveaway. Plus it wouldn't work once it mixed with water. Some of these are just plain stupid.