I read alot on Mumsnet but don't often comment, but this thread has my attention because it echoes some of the social media posts I've been seeing and honestly I feel for the OP, who obviously wants to get ahead , provide for her child, get into a field of work that benefits the wider population and be a good example to her child. I'm astonished at the criticism levelled at her, and I am also downcast following the election results. I had a bit of a strop on Facebook this morning but as I'm 50 years of age and am supposed to have my shit together, I'm trying to play the game.
I agree with the concept of personal responsibilty, but I know from my decades of experience that the best laid plans of mice and men can be decimated by one poor stroke of fate. People, and quite often it is female people, disproportionately so, are often called upon to put aside their career aspirations to provide care because their contribution to the economy is somehow less valued, and besides, women are allegedly better at that sort of thing. It is framed to women as a choice of course, but it doesn't feel like much of one.
Caring for your own children is seen as anachronistic - working women should keep going, even if they are paying someone almost their whole income in child care, because they should be thinking of their own future and not be dependent on any man. At the same time, they are supposed to be nurturing a small human and placing them above all else.
Employment is precarious, and not as plentiful as is suggested. Zero hours contracts, part-time, etc etc...... and the bar is set higher and higher for applicants. As you get older, trying to get a job is very disheartening - too old, over-qualified, even menial jobs with no hope of progression have been elevated to a level of competitiveness that astounds me.
Higher Education leaves one with mounting debt and less guarantee of secure employment than it ever did.
Housing - also precarious and over-priced.
In what world did it become the norm that in order to live modestly, one needed two incomes AND top ups from the state? Our free market economy (which isn't and can never be properly that) is designed so that those who have the most can accrue more and more - those who have the least have to fight for every penny and go cap in hand to try and aspire to an even slightly comfortable lifestyle. But then, if we're all kept busy fighting for the scraps, we won't go after those who are so much better off financially.
We are supposed to have choices, but they don't seem very appealing, and this attitude that suffering and stress is somehow admirable and character building is alarming - because it leads to poor mental and physical health and people who may well have been contributors to society burn out and cost the country even more money, if one is intent on seeing life as a balance sheet.
I was hoping that the country would see a bigger picture and move towards evening things out in terms of opportunity, rather than continuing on this peculiar race to the bottom that the entire world economy seems to be based on. I'm not advocating for communism, but some people are happy with a simple life and having "enough" to do their own thing - others want to strive for bigger and better things - but the latter shouldn't get to marginalise and penalise the former because money is power and that's all that matters.
Whatever the future holds, I wish the OP well, and everyone else who is struggling. Those who aren't - I hope you don't have to experience the iniquity heaped upon those whose lives, despite making what seemed like the right choices in the moment, have been cruelly disappointed, and then left unsupported.