To think this is selfish (nativity)

[LolaDabestest]

My child's nativity today, 2 showings morning and afternoon. My daughter had a decent part with lines...not showing off they started school as a shy quiet child so massive step for her and I wanted to get her part on my phone. Anyway got there 15 minutes early I'm never one of the saddos that arrives early to hog the front row I always just slink to the back.
Bare in mind I was 15 minutes early front row was filled and ended up having to slink to the back.
I looked along the front row and there was literally about 4 parents the rest were obviously extended family bit peeved but hey they obviously got there mega early I don't got time for that shit.

I had to stand at the back zooming in to get a vid of my child which was annoying but hey ho. Anyway my aibu is I later found out that the parents at the front mum, dad, two sets of grandparents had been to both the showings (4 hours apart) and took up half the front row in both shows!! Their child didn't have a speaking part(), it's really pissed me off tbh as they should have at least let other parents have a chance at being at the front to get some decent pics etc. And the fact that it was half their family as well.

Anyway I know I sound precious but without going into things this was a massive moment for my child and it would have been nice to actually have had a decent view and come away with a nice vid of her part.

These sort of things bring out really unsociable behaviour imo. I have managed front row seats once or twice in 10 years of infant school. Even if I arrive in good time and there are only 5 people in front of me, it turns out they are all saving space for 4 other family members, so I still miss out. And people holding phones and iPads up blocking everyone else's view. I think the schools should make DVDs, pixelarte out anyone who can not be photographed and sell for a small profit for the school.

I don't think YABU, extended family taking up the entire front row for 2 duplicate performances is fairly ridiculous. Guess it's a lesson to get there very early in future if it means that much to you.

fair enough, but all - or most - of the other kids only have family watching them at 1 performance!

Round here you tend to get one parent going during the day and one in the evening or a grandparent during the day (or two) and a parent (or two) in the evening.

Well it sounds like you wouldn't have been in the front row either way (you weren't the second person there after all) so it's a bit academic, but yes it was selfish of them to take up the front row for both shows, or even to go to both really.

In our school parents are allowed to come to one performance AM or PM.

Only two tickets per family (so come together OR split to do each performance). If a Gparent wants to come then one parent can't.

And yes if you want to bag the front row then queue up earlier! It's not sad! It's what is done!

Oh and our school makes DVDs so no videos. Pics allowed for your own use only.

OP it was selfish to take up the front row both times. But people are selfish, what can you do?

No school lets parents video in this day and age.

That simply isn’t true. One of my kids school didn’t allow videos because some children can’t be filmed. At the end they take them out so parents can take pictures of their kid only. At my other daughters school we were told we could film and take as many pictures as we like. It all depends on wether there are kids there that need to be protected or not.

I think it’s selfish to sit in the front row cor both showings, going to both is fine if the tickets are available and everyone gets the chance to see their kid but the front row both times is a bit selfish. My kid had two showings but we were limited to a few tickets per kid. Me and her dad went on the first performance but not the second.

Most schools limit 3 people per family, maybe have a word before the next one I'm surprised you can film it most schools either say no or they will film it due to Safeguarding issues

YANBU. Some people are plain selfish and constantly put themselves first. The last few years have demonstrated how this is becoming the norm, sadly.
I think I’m a pariah as I sat about 5 rows from the front (children from the different classes sit in the first 3 rows) and there was at least 3 seats to the left of me. It’s in a church so they’re pews but it’s obvious there was spare room.
Loads of parents arrived late and stood at the back.
Bizarre!
Unfortunately, the microphone on the left wasn’t working so you couldn’t hear those children speaking (including DS), but my expectations for a school nativity are pretty low anyway so I wasn’t too disappointed.

You “don’t got time for this shit” hmm - but they made time. They cared about seeing it more than you did. You lost my sympathy at “saddos

This x100.

They do but you are no allowed to share publicly

YABU.

You can't/won't turn up early to get a decent seat, you think those children with speaking parts are the ones deserving decent seats for their family, you object to extended family coming and those who arrive early are 'saddos'.

I'm delighted your child has a speaking part when they wouldn't have been able to do it before. That's ace.
Don't spoil it by snarking at other families.

It was unreasonable of them. Say a prayer for them. You are blessed to know more about what kindness means. l

Stop calling it a “showing”, it’s a performance. “Showing” is for the cinema.

Our schools politely ask that people don’t use phones or iPads to record. They make a video available to everyone afterwards. It’s great because you just sit and soak it up, enjoy every child’s part and the atmosphere of the occasion.

We also have tickets - 2 per child per performance. If a parent attends both performances (as I did this year) it’s very poor etiquette to sit up front twice. You always sit at the back if it’s your second time watching. Everyone knows that.

These things do bring out the worst in people if not moderated.

I don't think theit child not having a speaking part has anything to do with it. Children who don't have speaking parts are just as important. It is probably unfair that they saw it twice though

I'm with you on this one OP. It was self centered.

YANBU.

They should have gone to one showing only and extended family should (IMO) only be allowed in place of parents who are unable to attend.

One showing they could just about be excused for but both? The teachers should have asked them to move to give others the opportunity. It would have been nice to have photo ops as well.

I'm surprised you were allowed to video anything because it's banned in the schools in my area.

I'm not a fan of videos of school plays purely because the poor shy kids have enough to contend with as it is but that's personal preference.

They were blatant CFs. Why on earth would all of them want to see it twice in the space of 3 hours?!

It's my 3yo's first Nativity next week, he's a star (literally). All parents have been allocated two tickets each, to one showing. I'm a SP and me & my mum are going. I'm lucky this time as we're both not working on the day (she's retired early and I'm part time) so can get there half an hour early to try get front row. If we don't get front row that's that. Next year I'll be working FT and I'll be lucky if I get to go at all.

when dd started primary school the school didn't have a limit on numbers per family and we was allowed to film.
after a couple of years they changed things only 2 tickets per show, no children under 5 could attend

I used to hate it when school governors and the like would get any front seats, when my children were at school. Those seats, in my opinion, should have been for the parents. At my grandchildren’s school, you’re issued tickets for the Nativity, a maximum of three per child. I’ve gone every year for four years, my husband isn’t bothered, with my son and DIL. It doesn’t seem fair, particularly as they’d already seen it once, so I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

Apt thread as i went to a reception nativity today. I have 3 DC and never arrive early but know where is the best place to stand!

Anyway head teacher had just finished saying "please keep the aisle clear as the children will be walking up and down it so you can all see" ... and one woman leapt up from across the way and pushes into the pew infront of me legs and torso out into the aisle and pushing the man beside her away.

Afterwards parents were told to smile, wave , leave and teachers would take back to school (10.30am) to prevent tears and upset. DD gets home and asks why inwasnt waiting outside the church.

So I follow the rules, dd gets upset. However i respect the teachers

So my point is yanbu in that sometimes people dont think , listen to rules or what is sensible especially in reception. but if no rules then they haven't really done anything wrong.

Wow people are very quick to jump on OPs around here. Season of goodwill to all? Anyway, YANBU. It was selfish of them to take up so much space for both performances. Hope you enjoyed it and congratulations to DC

But in all fairness if my child was just in the chorus no I wouldn't sit on the front the over someone else whose child was a main part as Id feel a dick hence why I always sit at the back as long as my child knows I'm there.

^^ I am horrified by this.
So if a child is unable to ever take a main part, perhaps they are shy, perhaps they are anxious, perhaps they have communication difficulties or a disability and they are always just in the chorus. By your logic their parents should sit at the back? Excluded to the last row so the parents of the star of the show can be at the front?

Well no not in my book. In my book every little kid is the star of the show, whatever their part, and the proud parents can sit wherever they like. They certainly don’t have to justify where they sit to anyone like you, with some idiotic idea that a main part in some way ‘earns’ the parents a seat at the front.

Absolutely shocking from a grown adult. You really should be ashamed.

having 3 selectively mute children and never having a moment like this sorry but yes maybe I am a bit Braggy/proud

If it were me, and it were that important, I’d be there half an hour early if needs be. You can have a go at those standing early, but for them it was important they were at the front.