Planning to be childfree... but feel very judged!

[C1239]

I’ve never really seen myself having biological children, can’t really explain it just have felt it’s not in my life plan but thought children could be involved in my life somehow.
I’m now 35, been in a relationship for 5 years and am stepmum to my partners two sons under 10. I enjoy it, I’m lucky to have a fantastic relationship with the boys which I think was helped my meeting them when they were so young. There have definitely been challenging times and it’s been a real eye opener into how tough parenting is. But I feel happy with my situation, I love seeing the boys and the family time we have but I also love the time just me and my partner have.
Since I’ve reached mid 30s though the pressure to have my ‘own’ children seems to be massive, from parents, random comments from work colleagues, some friends , all saying it’s completely different with your own, you will regret this when you are older, what do you mean you don’t want your own children you are an amazing stepmum...!
Throughout my 20s I was able to laugh comments off but sometimes now I really feel the pressure and even question myself that I’m making the right decision even though I’m sure my gut feeling is being a biological mum isn’t for me.
Has anyone else experienced the same? Any advise? Are all these people right and I am making a massive mistake?!

I think too many people have children because it is what is expected or the done thing.

I love my children and always knew that I wanted them and wanted to be married. I was 21, barely out of university, just moved into a new flat when my dad asked when I was going to settle down. Not only was I single, but I could barely afford myself; and this was in the middle of a massive recession. I ignored him because he only wanted me to settle down so he could have grandchildren and all his friends had grandchildren. This came up again when I was 24 and my mum and younger sister chimes in that I should have a baby. I sat there and listened to them plan out how I would have a baby and they would help me take care of it meaning me living with them. No mention of me getting married, having my own home, etc.. Absolutely gave zero f**ks about how this would effect me nor if I even wanted that for myself which I absolutely didn’t. I was at least in a relationship that time. Married my husband, moved 4,000 miles away and had my first child at 28 when I was ready emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially.

Don’t let others dictate the only life you have. Do what is right for you.

I don't particularly feel judged, but i've certainly not been believed when i've said i don't want kids. Some of DH's friends have asked him on the sly if actually we can't have them.

It mystifies me why people find it so hard to believe. Nothing about parenting looks fun to me. Why do people assume everyone wants the same thing in life?

Do what's right for you - and sod the judgers

Did you get the memo? To be a proper human female, you have to have 1 boy and 1 girl with precisely a 2 year age gap.

Good for you OP.

by the sounds of things your partner's kids will have been aged, what, at most say 2 & 4 [if they're now, say, 7 and 9, you said they were both under 10] when you got together with their dad, so they'll likely at least in part see you as a mum of sorts & you'll have been through quite a lot of the 'parenting experience'.

Just tell people you don't want children it's your decision.
My son is 26 and has said to us he will not be having children, he doesn't want them and that is his choice. It's no one's business only yours and your partners.

Thank you everyone for your comments :-) it’s tough being a woman sometimes!!

Lady No-Kids is my hero!