He also commented I find all this baby talk boring,why do people not want to talk to us about anything interesting any more? Is this what iv yo listen to from now on?
So he is jealous of the baby too. Attention to the baby means none for him. He can't deal with it.
This is a huge red flag.
I am sorry, but this isn't MH issues. This is pure narcissism.
And that verbal tactic when he just goes of on random tangents about things too sometimes,so much so I have no idea what the original conversation was about in the first place,but generally this only happens if hes stressed too,but once he starts it's like hes talking at me not too me.
Depending on context (in an argument or serious discussion about the relationship) that is called narcissistic word salad.
In a normal conversation it is purely a matter of erasing you, behaving as if you weren't there.
Either way, it's narcissistic.
The thing with the presents when and if he feels like giving them?
He is erasing you. He decides when you will experience the pleasure of receiving a gift. Your birthday doesn't matter. You will give him the pleasure of responding to a random gift on a day he chooses instead.
.............
What sort of 'boldness' was the DD up to when you had your MC and he was left looking after her?
I don't want to spook you, but I would not leave him alone with the DD, especially as she gets a little older and into the argumentative phase of early childhood.
Does he pay child support for his child with the previous wife?
As many others here have suggested, look very closely at his story of abuse at her hands and his reason not to pursue custody of his child, or at least establish a court ordered visitation schedule.