For giving cheques not cash

[RobynsMama]

I have a lot of cousins with kids and I like to give them a gift at Christmas. They live quite a distance from me and I don’t like getting gifts that are unwanted/won’t be used to I usually send money but in a cheque with the child’s name on it. I know it’s then gone into the child’s account, and less likely to get lost in the post etc.

These cheques always get deposited fine so there ls no issue there, all the kids have their own savings accounts etc. But I got this text today from one of my cousins and i just found it quite rude but I wanted to see if I’m overreacting.

“Hi,
I know you always give the kids money at Christmas and we really appreciate it but do you think you could just send cash not cheques this year, it’s a bit old fashioned and cash just makes it easier for the kids to spend it on what they want. Thanks!”

The kids are 5 and 2 so I understand the 5 year old maybe wants to actually go out and spend the money but not the 2 year old surely? I’m just worried it’ll go into her purse and the kids won’t have it then. I know she can get money out of the kids bank accounts to spend if she wants to but giving cash just seems a sure fire way to just give it straight to her.

For background, this cousin has form for borrowing money and not paying it back, has been in arrears with her rent but still finds money to go out clubbing and on holiday (without her kids) which is why I stuck with cheques even though other when my DD was born my family tend to put cash in cards for Christmas and birthdays (I’m the only one that does cheques)

I don’t want to stop giving gifts, but I’m honestly thinking about just saving money for them now (just the same amount as the other kids get) and gifting it when they turn 18. It seems like much less hassle but then I’ll be seen as a Scrooge, bc the other kids in my family will still be getting cheques at Christmas. I don’t know what to do for the best 😩

I agree cheques are a pita. In terms of the hysteria over cash in the post, in some ways I'd rather lose £20 than risk someone shady having my bank account details.

Who's "hysterical"?

I don't like cheques for the kids. It has to be deposited into their account that they can't access till they're older. So they don't benefit now. Kids can't open bank accounts until they're older. We do have gohenry now but that's paid for and not many people have it

i think you should send them something light to post, a little fluffy toy

There would be no further presents from me, I’m afraid. She has obviously earmarked the money you send. I don’t buy to get back, but I won’t be taken the piss out of either.
Send the kids a Christmas colouring or story book.

I got a cheque recently. It was so annoying. I had to take time off work to deposit it in my account. So I totally get where they are coming from. Cash is far more convenient.

I would prefer a Christmas card with no money attached than one with a cheque.

"so easy to ping money to people"? But I find it even easier to post a cheque to the bank with a note, which is probably even more old-fashioned. (I live in a village now, too)
I don't have any cousins, which is probably why it has never occurred to me to send anything on their children's birthdays or Christmas.

I give by cheque, it’s paid into the kids account then when they want something it’s drawn out for them. I would carry on, if she says it’s difficult tell her she can pay them in at the post office if required

THis is what you need online banking for -- straight into the child's account with no need for grabby mother to get her paws on it.

I would appreciate the sentiment but personally find cheques a massive pain in the arse. Lots of parents of young children struggle with time as it is and I find things like this really annoying. I find myself wishing they wouldn't bother.

Actually getting to the bank outside of working hours is impossible for us so we have to wait until we have a days holiday which is frankly the last thing I want be doing. Then you get the inevitable questions from the relative of "have you cashed the cheque yet" because it's been a few weeks and they know you obviously haven't!

It's so annoying...vouchers or cash is ten times easier because they can go and pick something and pay immediately themselves.

If I'm giving a gift of some sort I want it to be an enjoyable experience for all involved not just post a cheque because it's easier for me, when there is a much easier alternative for all.

And as a PP said, they're not even cleared funds till mid-January!

Where are you banking - 1971? You need to get a new account if that's how long yours takes.

Premium bonds? (Although the minimum amount of £25 might well be more than you want to give). DS got £100 worth as a christening present and has won £50 on them

You are crazy if you think she spends that money on her children. I would either send a voucher for a children's shop or nothing.

As it's not particularly safe to send cash through the post, I would reply

'Fine, no more cheques. But I am not prepared to send cash through the post, so it will have to wait until we see the DC'

@coconuttelegraph I explained a few pages ago how it could easily be the second week in January before funds have cleared based on a 4/5 day clearing process, the day Christmas Day falls on, ability to go into a branch, allowing for New year Bank holidays/weekends etc.

I bank with two different banks, neither of which have an ability to pay in cheques via mobile/internet banking and I work 26th-30th December this year. I also dont have a car and work/live a 40min walk from town. If DD received a cheque for Christmas then the earliest I'd be able to bank it would be 31st of December and my banks are closed 31st and 1st January, so 2nd of January to even bank it so DD wouldnt get the money till January 7th at the earliest.

I think I’d send a book voucher.

I'd say sorry no, I don't feel comfortable sending cash or vouchers in the post as they can easily be stolen and used by others, hence my insistence on a cheque addressed to the recipient...

Who's "hysterical"?

The people putting in capitals and pearl clutching over putting cash in the post as if people won't have considered the possibility it might get stolen, pretty obvious imo 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

But the risk is solely losing the money no more or less that is all that can go wrong. So why the need to tell people not to do it as if we are simple? If I was giving kids 10 pounds each for example I'd just take that risk, 100 quid I wouldn't. We can surely work that out for ourselves?

I don't know if it's your post I quoted @melj1213 but the one I did clearly says funds won't be cleared until mid January, whilst that could be the case in an individual's particular circumstances it most definitely isn't how the banking system works.

Personally I wouldn't be sending cousins kids anything, especially as their don't bother with your kids, but if you must send something send a voucher for a toy/book shop that's near them. Given her text I wouldn't be sending anything.

I pay money directly into my nephew’s account. Saves the faff of him having to go to a bank.