About cutting grapes

[user1471433387]

We have a 2.5 year old and the other day I noticed DH was cutting grapes widthways for her. I said that you’re meant to cut them lengthways in order for them not to be a choking hazard. I notice today he’s put some grapes out for our daughter and again they’re cut widthways not lengthways. I asked him in future to please cut them lengthways but he’s refusing!

WIBU? Am I being over the top?

I think quarter ways is probably best but there’s no way he’d agree to that.

Ok i looked up the ONs statistics on this. Choking deaths are far more common in the over 60s than in babies and children. Make sure you are cutting up the grapes for your parents.

Also focus on teaching your children to chew properly as it is the lack of chewing that causes choking issues across all food and not only grapes (apparently poorly chewed meat causes the most issues).

The co-ordination of chewing and swallowing aren't fully developed until 5 years, hence the higher risk of choking. Older we get the less co-ordinated it becomes, so again the risk increases.

A little boy near where I live choked to death on a grape at a party a few years ago. 'Vanishingly small' the risk might be, but it's a risk I'm not willing to take after that. Your husband sounds like a bit of a dick tbh. Even if he thinks it's OTT, if it's something that's important to you then why not do it for the sake of a few extra seconds?

Next time he does not listen, drag his arse down to the nearest Paramedic and ask them to tell him some jobs they have been out to involving kids choking. You are not overreacting. I pray no one ever has to witness choking first hand.

He wants "statistics"? WTF.
It's simple physics, a grape is the same size width ways as a child's windpipe.
If a grape goes down the wrong way it will get trapped and they won't be able to get air up to cough it back out again.
There's always a "risk" of food going down the wrong way. The point is that grapes being the size they are will totally prevent their body's natural cough reflex from pushing it back out again if it's not smaller than their windpipe.

I assume he's taken steps to look up the exact emergency procedure for your childs age to get it out should it become stuck? I'm guessing probably not.

It's him who doesn't understand risk and he is increasing it himself.

I’d just say to him, as you are cutting them in half anyway and it takes no more time to cut them the other direction- would you not just do it that way because it would stop me worrying?

That’s reasonable- and completely allows him to disagree but do it to make you happy- if the answer is still no...... you’ve got bigger issues than grapes......

I think you need to get a grip!

Choking kills 1 child per month in the uk and grapes are the third commoners cause (after sweets and hot dogs, apparently).

Given that the uk birth rate is about 680,000 and children can, apparently, choke up to 5 years old, the chance of dying by choking at all is about 1/200,000, so the chance of dying by a grape cut up ‘incorrectly’ for a 2.5 year old must be less than one in 1/1,000,000 or 0.0001%.

If you worried about every 1 in a million risk, you would never go out of the house, do YADBU.

You're married to a dickhead. I could be a statistician with an in depth understanding of risk but I still wouldn't take unnecessary risks with my child. You coukd apply that rule to most safety precautions you take with your children.

Sorry, I really couldn't stay married to someone like that.

@larrygrylls - don't be an enormous twat. Just because the risks of something happening are low doesn't mean you should do nothing to mitigate them. Especially given the outcome is death. Your chances of being involved in a serious car accident are slim but you don't leave your seatbelt off just because you fancy it.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland - I'm guessing the OP isn't a carer for her parents. She's not responsible for their safety and welfare but she is for her child. My parents are 73. I don't cut up their grapes because, you know, they can cut up their own.

StepAway,

Not that slim! And you don’t plan every journey meticulously to avoid danger spots or drive slower than the speed limit just to reduce the fatality risk by an infinitesimal fraction of a decimal point.

You don’t avoid every potential allergen ‘just in case’ without any known allergy.

I wonder if you would ever let your children ski or ride a horse, infinitely riskier pursuits than grape eating? And so easily mitigated.

The only point you make which is, by sheer good luck, vaguely correct is risk mitigation is decided relative to probability and seriousness. When you get to vanishingly small risks, you really don’t have to mitigate them.

I am with your DH. While grapes should be cut or quartered, there is no evidence that cutting them one way is more risky than another. The article quoted above recommends cutting or quartering, it doesn’t say how they should be cut. My understanding of this is than any cutting reduced the risk by piercing the skin. It’s the tight skin of small tomatoes and grapes, plus their small size that makes them a chocking hazard. Once the skin has been pierced, they can be squashed, so they are less dangerous.

Is he a bit thick, as in, not much going on in the brain department? He seems to acknowledge there is a risk of choking but how does he think cutting the grape in half will mitigate that risk - it’s still the same width and can block an airway. How can you stand being in a relationship with someone that dumb who would also rather let his kids die before he could acknowledge you’re right?

Children are more likely to choke on sausages and sweets, do you serve those in parts small enough not to be a choke hazard?

Yes I cut sausages in a way that minimises the risk of them being a choking hazard. And I don’t give my son sweets that are choking hazard size and shape. Nor do I give him whole nuts which are a choking hazard. What is your point?

This is more about a man being a dick to his partner though isn’t it. My friend’s exH used to pretend to let their newborn slip underwater in the bath because he knew it terrified her and he thought this was funny.

The point is making sure that a child isn’t being given things that are common causing of choking. Lots of people don’t realise they are, especially sausages.

My former colleagues 3 year old son choked to death on a grape.
Tell him to grow the fuck up.

He says there’s a potential risk in driving the car but I still do that
Yes but you do what you can to minimise risk e.g. seatbelts, driving at/under speed limits, car maintenance.
Part of being a parent, and a human, is minimising risk where possible.
He should do what he can to minimise risk of choking. Especially if he cuts the grapes up anyway, it's no hardship to cut them the other way. He's just trying to make a point in an idiotic way.

@larrygrylls are you OPs DH!?

You are talking out of your arse.
You don't leave your seat belt off because the risks of getting into a crash are slim.

You don't leave your oven on while out. Chances are itl be fine but nobody risks it.

These are children's lives were talking about.

Cutting up a few grapes takes next to no time at all. Not leaving the house in case something happens is a totally extreme comparison.

In life we take risks and we prevent risks. Most of it is down to common sense. If rather spend a few seconds cutting up grapes so that if that small risk of it going down the wrong way happens, my child won't choke to death.

It's because he's lazy, it's ever so slightly easier and more instinctive to cut width ways and he can't be bothered just doing it right. Stop buying grapes, he's putting your dd at risk.

My DS has choked and his face haunted me for months. It’s a very real risk. I would be furious.

I used to be blasé about this and then someone I know lost their toddler to a grape. A few months later another friend lost their pre-schooler to a piece of uncooked carrot.

It's awful.

Carrots now freak me the fuck out.

What an arse. Show him NHS Scotland’s page on baby child safety. There’s a bit on choking. It clearly states cut lengthways... www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/baby-safety-tips/