To think this is an odd Christmas present

[Moggymorn]

I met up with a friend yesterday for lunch and we usually exchange small gifts, nothing fancy, up to about £20. For reference I got her a nice candle, a mug and some chocs. Just general little goodies.

She gave me a necklace, which is lovely, but it has the name of her daughter engraved on it. It's a lovely necklace and her daughter is lovely, and I'm sure it would be a lovely present for her... but surely it would make more sense to get my own kids names engraved on it?

It was a lovely necklace but I just don't understand! I'm only really posting as dh thinks she might of ordered that one for her and one with my own kids name on for me and got them the wrong way round and said to ask her. Or is this not as weird as it seems in my head?

I got a little silver box once, with a lock of childs hair.
From future sister-in-law
Utterly bizarre. I chucked it.

Nope tis totally weird. It would be weird even for blood relatives to get someone else's kid's name engraved on something (unless it was on the back with 'from ...')

My friend gave me a framed photo of her dogs for Christmas

My uncle once gave my father a framed photo of him and his third wife for Christmas. The same uncle who sued my father for his portion of their inheritance because uncle wanted my father’s slice too (he lost and then didn’t speak to my father for 10 years).

People are odd.

Well that's a totally shit present. Cannot believe she thinks that other people would honestly want to wear a necklace with her child's name on it. She needs a dose of cop on!

She is sooo in the huff about this.

The question is OP , are you going to wear it every day or just when you see her?.
I can just imagine people saying 'oh what a lovely necklace, is that the name of your daughter?' - you - 'err, no my friends actually ' - awkward!.

That's so fucking weird!

I’d have told her to give it to one of the other aunties.

No, actually I’d have done the same as you OP because I’m too polite. And because presumable you don’t hate the other aunties enough to put them in the same awkward position

Don't encourage her, next thing it'll be bracelets with her cat's name on.

I like Iwouldlikesomecake's reply.
I hope this poster works as a diplomat, she would be wasted elsewhere!

@Si1ver

On the back of her neck so visible with everything she wears

Had it done when DD was about 4 I think? Obv she loves her but no more than any other auntie would, she doesn't even see her that much.

No kids of her own and not wanting any of her own.

I know! My main question was "but....why???"

Oh wow, I'm sending everyone's Xmas presents back and getting them build a bear vouchers to take my kids 😂

Ooh that is odd, especially as you have DC of your own.

Is this totally out of character for her?

Is she self-absorbed and inappropriate at other times?

Give her something with your kids name on it. She might realise that it's a weird gift

And you have a DC the same age as hers? That makes it double-weird. Almost as if she thinks you'd rather have her child's name round your neck than your own child's name.

I'd take it to a jeweler and have this done:

her child's name
MY CHILD'S NAME

And now I have an advert with engraved heart bracelets popping up on the right along with a grinch musical. Am being stalked by google again...

Oh, FFS, she's fucking batshit to do this. Yes, first time motherhood can be hard blah blah blah.

I've said I do like it I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a mix up and she's said it's fine. Tone still seems a bit off but I'm leaving it before it becomes a big drama. It takes all sorts I guess blush

It's a bad idea to have mollycoddled her. It's utterly wanky to do this and it will just to go to waste because c'mon, you're not going to wear that necklace because it's naff AF.

She's the one making drama.

'Actually, thinking about it some more, I'm sure it will be much more appreciated by the aunties so I'll return it.' And then post it to her. No drama, but she needs to get the message that this is a shit gift.

Euw! Well, she has let you know what to expect from her now! That is a truly weird gift. It sets up all sorts of expectations, mainly that you agree that her child is vitally important to you, maybe more so than your own child!

Have a long hard think... what positive stuff does she bring to your life? If it outweighs your now forever having to remember to triple check your words before speaking then fine. Keep on as you are. But if you suspect that this will be the tip of an iceburg then yes, give her the necklace back, tell her you think it is a weird present to give a non related friend and move on without her!

I hope the mug you gave her had your child's name on it.

She would love that.

This is hilarious.

I'm also volunteering to contribute to a necklace with your DSs name engraved on it that you can give to her.

she's either made a mistake or she's regifted something she doesn't like and not realised it's engraved... is it obvious?

This is a classic case of giving something that the giver wants to give, without thinking at all about whether it's suitable or appropriate for the recipient. If you were to wear it, anyone who saw it would wonder who the hell [name] is (if they know you and your family) or assume it's your child, or sister or something if they don't.

Don't feel too bad OP, she's the one who is BU even if it's just through thoughtlessness or pfb excitement.

So weird