To think this is an odd Christmas present

[Moggymorn]

I met up with a friend yesterday for lunch and we usually exchange small gifts, nothing fancy, up to about £20. For reference I got her a nice candle, a mug and some chocs. Just general little goodies.

She gave me a necklace, which is lovely, but it has the name of her daughter engraved on it. It's a lovely necklace and her daughter is lovely, and I'm sure it would be a lovely present for her... but surely it would make more sense to get my own kids names engraved on it?

It was a lovely necklace but I just don't understand! I'm only really posting as dh thinks she might of ordered that one for her and one with my own kids name on for me and got them the wrong way round and said to ask her. Or is this not as weird as it seems in my head?

I'm guessing she's got a serious case of PFB and baby brain going on bless her if she normally acts normal and past presents you've received from her were normal?

She's probably not replied yet OP because she's just realized that it was infact a very strange gift to give so try not to worry to much.

I tend to go by the rule that ‘if in doubt leave it out’ works for most situations. I rarely ask for clarification, elaboration or justification. Nor do I offer it. People do odd things. All the time. The least said about it the better. But it is rarely a ‘mistake’ as such. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad OP; as it was indeed a strange gift. But it was obvious to me the minute you described the situation that it could not be a ‘mistake’ as such. Mumsnet is great. But your instincts are valuable too and it might be that you have caused some hurt and embarrassment by reacting very quickly in line with the immediate response of the internet rather than your own instincts. I revert to my view that it is often preferable (excepting examples of extreme rudeness or displays of prejudice) to say nothing and question nothing.

Can you buy her jewellery with your kid's name on PLEASE!! I'll contribute

@Moggymorn Why do you regret asking?

She is the one who should feel regret and embarrassment, not you.

She has clearly regifted, probably forgot that it had her daughter's name on, and is now acting defensive/arsey, because she knows she is in the wrong.

When people are called-out, they go one of two ways... They either go 'oooh I am SO sorry!' nd apologise profusely for their fuck-up.

OR they get massively arsey and defensive, and try and make out YOU are the one on the wrong.

Sounds like she is going for the latter of the two.

Some people become self obsessed with their kids sadly.

This times a million. I was once gifted a Build A Bear voucher, the gift being I could take a friend’s child and pay for the child’s bear. I still have the voucher.

Oh dear, I’m so sorry but that’s a really odd gift! Who would want a piece of jewellery with someone else’s child’s name on it?!

Sounds like she has PFB syndrome!

Very strange present and no idea why anyone would give that!
This thread is very outing though so maybe she’s read it and that’s why she’s offended?

I am in full PFB mode and I would never do this, only DH is getting a Christmas present with DS's name on it. Very weird gift.

I would message to say:
Thank you so much for your and dc gift, it’s beautiful.
I’m really worried that you have unintentionally given me that wrong present, I’m concerned that bringing this up will cause offence, but, more than that if you have given me the wrong one.....what will grandma get?!
Hope you can sort it.

Not much to add, other than that's really fucking weird. I wouldn't want this shit with the names of my actual niece and nephew on, let alone the name of a fake one!

@user1486131602 the OP has already messaged her friend with a message like that, and the friend got arsey!

CopperPottery
Can you buy her jewellery with your kid's name on PLEASE!! I'll contribute grin

You MUST do this OP - say how touched you were by her giving you a keepsake with her child's name on it so thought she would like similar. I still think it's a regift.

I'm prepared to pay for the gift if you do this.

That's really weird. Even in my most PFB moments it never occurred for one second to give unrelated people jewellery with my child's name on.

Can the bit with the name be easily removed?? Like a pendant, take it off, replace with something less.... odd.

Think it's sorted! She just replied saying she's sorry I didn't like the gift and if I don't want it to give it back as one of her dds other aunties would love it. I've said I do like it I just wanted to make sure it wasn't a mix up and she's said it's fine. Tone still seems a bit off but I'm leaving it before it becomes a big drama. It takes all sorts I guess

Hilarious!

And now you'll have to wear the bloody thing every time you see her, OP ...

I bet one of the other aunties would not love it either!

This has gone from weird to 'seriously weirder!'

One of her DD’s other aunties would love it???

That's just a weird present. I would never get someone a present with my daughters name on. Confused.com

You know what you have to do now to fix this. You have to tattoo her child's name about your person. It's the only solution.

You did the right thing ...hopefully she will realise she needs to tone things down ... better the wake up call came from you than someone else less kind

Wait until your kids start to crawl... I can assure you she will start putting you and your child down every single time your child does something she perceives as better than her own child...

I will hand the thing back before she claims it back (I’ll assure you she will, just give her time...)

Don't worry she'll come on here OP shortly with a new post complaining and everyone will say YANBU

Tell her you're having her kid's name and face tattooed somewhere so the necklace is a bit redundant. I agree she needs a wakeup call. Honestly, what a freak.