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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was DH BU to have a go at the Labour Party canvasser on the doorstep?

99 replies

turkeyontheplate · 05/12/2019 16:52

Labour Party canvasser knocked and asked whether DH would be voting for our local MP. DH replied that he would, and always had. Canvasser replied "and your Missus?"

DH called him a "brocialist" and said that's exactly the sort of comment that's turning people off Labour at the moment.

I think DH was perfectly reasonable. Other family members who were here think it was petty and harsh, and the guy was just being friendly.

AWIBU?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/12/2019 16:54

Pictures or it didn’t happen.

Original poster
turkeyontheplate · 05/12/2019 16:54
Xmas Grin
OP posts:
MrsNoMopp · 05/12/2019 16:56

NBU at all!

malmi · 05/12/2019 16:59

Were you standing there?

Tableclothing · 05/12/2019 16:59

Is referring to someone's wife or husband as their missus or mister offensive now?

I've just had to Google 'brocialist'.

said that's exactly the sort of comment that's turning people off Labour at the moment.

I thought it was more the anti-Semitism row, mad ideas like nationalising broadband and their stance on but OK.

Treaclepie19 · 05/12/2019 17:06

Yeah I think there was no need tbh.
Okay he could have phrased it differently but there was no need to have a go at him.

SummerPavillion · 05/12/2019 17:08

Probably trying to be a bit more casual than "and Mrs Turkey?". I hate Missus though personally.

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 17:08

Your DH sounds pompous and there's no need for him to get personal with someone who is doing a valid and decent job (offering political information).

I don't think a Labour canvasser's use of the word "missus", however wrong or not, is at the root core of voter's being turned off by Corbyn's vageuly anti-semitic cabal of 70s throwbacks.

Your husband was BU for sure, I would have loved to see him try and call me a "brocialist". Xmas Hmm

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 05/12/2019 17:09

I also think that there was no need for it and that your DH was rude.

NameChangeNugget · 05/12/2019 17:09

He was BU, for not telling them to fuck off

TheTrollFairy · 05/12/2019 17:11

There was no need for him to be rude about it. He was probably just trying to be friendly and misjudged it.

Whatisthisfuckery · 05/12/2019 17:12

I think if he wants to know if you’re intending to vote Labour he should ask you. I suppose the correct answer would have been ‘I don’t know mate, she’s her own person with her own opinions, I don’t own her,’ but I can see what he was getting at.

wafflyversatile · 05/12/2019 17:13

I've seen people give many reasons for not voting Labour, (none of them good ones, IMO!) but this is the first time I've seen 'using the word Missus' cited.

It's a bit casual for someone you don't know but if you're husband isn't voting Labour then I think it's for other reasons, than this.

BackforGood · 05/12/2019 17:14

Canvasser replied "and your Missus?"

Hmm Hmm Hmm

That would have been challenged in our house too.
I've no idea if your dh "had a go" at them or not. There's never any need to "have a go" at someone - if he did, he was BU. If it happened as you said in your OP, then he was NBU.

He was certainly being very reasonable to challenge
a) his language and
b) the suggestion that your dh was somehow responsiblefro (or even knew of) the way you will vote.

Original poster
turkeyontheplate · 05/12/2019 17:15

He is voting Labour waffly. He just didn't expect or appreciate casual sexism on the doorstep.

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 05/12/2019 17:18

Your husband was a dick.

LakieLady · 05/12/2019 17:18

He was BU, for not telling them to fuck off

I always tell Tory canvassers to fuck off, so I have no right to get offended if someone does the same to a Labour canvasser. The Brexit party leafletter got "Fuck off you xenophobic pillock".

DP was horrified. He said I should have called him a cunt.

Jengnr · 05/12/2019 17:19

The fuck is a brocialist?

Alsohuman · 05/12/2019 17:20

Casual sexism? Oh please.

Original poster
turkeyontheplate · 05/12/2019 17:22

Yes, casual sexism. That's exactly what it is. I'm not happy to be referred to as somebody's Missus, or "'er indoors" or any other generic reductive psuedo-title.

Good grief, it's like the 1940s in here Hmm

OP posts:
longtimelurkerhelen · 05/12/2019 17:22

YABU
If he was being sexist, he would have just assumed you vote whatever way your DH tells you to does, like a good 1950's housewife, he wouldn't have asked. Hmm

Original poster
turkeyontheplate · 05/12/2019 17:23

*pseudo

OP posts:
longtimelurkerhelen · 05/12/2019 17:23

@LakieLady Grin

coldlighthappier · 05/12/2019 17:31

Was your husband high when he was talking to him? Or had his brain been misplaced? Only explanations I can think of for his foolishness

BarbaraStrozzi · 05/12/2019 17:31

Yup, sexist arse. It's the sort of turn of phrase I'd expect from a Brexit Party canvasser, not Labour.

(And totally with your DH about brocialists - as an ex Labour party member and trade union activist back in the day, the number of lefty men who wear "this is what a feminist looks like" t shirts while having a distinct attitude of "well, we might get round to women's rights once we've done absolutely everyone else's and in the meantime, make us a sandwich, love" is quite astonishing. Disclaimer - I also have utterly lovely male socialist friends who really walk the walk, like the mate who got a group of men in our workplace to put themselves forwards as comparators in our equal pay claim. But "brocialists" are definitely a thing.)