Was DH BU to have a go at the Labour Party canvasser on the doorstep?

[turkeyontheplate]

Labour Party canvasser knocked and asked whether DH would be voting for our local MP. DH replied that he would, and always had. Canvasser replied "and your Missus?"

DH called him a "brocialist" and said that's exactly the sort of comment that's turning people off Labour at the moment.

I think DH was perfectly reasonable. Other family members who were here think it was petty and harsh, and the guy was just being friendly.

AWIBU?

Brocialist - contraction of "bro" ( as in that charming phrase "bros before hos") and socialist. The sort of socialist with a distinct blind spot when it comes to women's rights (see, for eg, the senior trade union officials in "Made in Dagenham").

YANBU OP. Of course it was horribly sexist. And no doubt an affectation at that. I don’t know what’s wrong with people on here! Thanks for teaching me the word “brocialist”. Never heard that one before, but shall be using it frequently from now on. I know soooo many brocialists

At least he didn’t say “what about your bird?”

If he'd have asked DH he'd have been told 'how would I know. Her vote is private'.

@turkeyontheplate

Probably would not have bothered me at all. But YANBU to be annoyed by it.

YABVU and over dramatic, and your DH was very rude.

Will he probably doesn't know your name, or whether you're married or not? If he'd said wife or partner he would have potentially offended you by getting it wrong? He just used a neutral term that doesn't presuppose whether or not you're married.

Sometimes I think about going canvassing and then I read posts like this and remember why I don't.

I hope your DH has volunteered to go canvassing with him so your DH can illustrate the correct terminology at all times and meet people who get offended by partner because they're not a business, mrs x because they prefer ms x, first name because it's too familiar, ms x because it's actually dr y, mr x because it's actually prof x (examples in brackets all examples from RL)

@FizzyIce 🤣🤣🤣🤣 “your bird” cracked me right up!!!!!!

The canvasser just wanted to make sure the whole household had been canvassed, "missus" a bit off but not worth having a go at someone for - delightful behaviour. If you don't want to be canvassed just let them know you aren't intending to vote Labour and they won't knock your door again this election, no need to be nasty and unkind.

I'd be cringing if my DH said that. YABU and he's embarrassing.

What was the poor bugger supposed to say, "your lady wife" or "the memsahib" - would that suit any better. He's worried about this but not Corbyn's shocking antisemitism and I suspect misogyny.

“ What was the poor bugger supposed to say, "your lady wife" or "the memsahib" - would that suit any better.”

What canvassers usually say is “your partner”.

God, canvassing is hard work sometimes!

Sounds like a bit of an oddball

I told the Tory twat to fuck off and stop trespassing on my property today. That's not to indicate I might vote otherwise (I might) but I hate the arrogant condescension they ooze out of every pore whilst happily belittling me (ex council house).

You are both unreasonable.

I would not like to canvass. My friend does it for every election. She ends up being exhausted.
She is one of the kindest people I know.
It would pain me to think she could possibly have this on the doorstep.

I think the canvasser was probably trying to use a friendly tone .

To be fair, it's the job of canvassers to leave your doorstep with the interaction and impression having been a positive one, whichever way you plan to vote. So in some ways your husband does him a favour making him aware that there's language that has caused offence.

Your husband was unreasonable and rude.

He probably didn't want to offend him by saying wife in case you are not a married couple, AND didn't want to say girlfriend in case it offended you being called a girl, AND didn't want to say partner/cohabitee/civil partner in case you are married so went with Missus hoping not to offend anyone.

Except you canvass with the electoral register in your hand so you know the full name of every voter at the address, so no need to guess at titles or relationships.

Your husband sounds like a pompous twat. No wonder people are turned off Conservative voters - so superior and up themselves.

I live in the North West and would take no offence of this phrase north of the Midlands. Get a grip!

Did you miss this @Figmentofmyimagination? He's a labour voter!

He is voting Labour waffly. He just didn't expect or appreciate casual sexism on the doorstep.

DH might have had a mister not a missus???