Was DH BU to have a go at the Labour Party canvasser on the doorstep?

[turkeyontheplate]

Labour Party canvasser knocked and asked whether DH would be voting for our local MP. DH replied that he would, and always had. Canvasser replied "and your Missus?"

DH called him a "brocialist" and said that's exactly the sort of comment that's turning people off Labour at the moment.

I think DH was perfectly reasonable. Other family members who were here think it was petty and harsh, and the guy was just being friendly.

AWIBU?

Non English but resident in London for seven years here... I thought 'missus' is a very common way to refer to someone's female partner in working class circles? Same as asking, how's your man voting, which wouldn't be offensive either!? Considering Labour's origins I'd say he used appropriate language and your husband was rude in an elitist way ha ha.... YABU.

@Figmentofmyimagination we're lifelong Labour voters and will be voting Labour again on the 12th. We just feel strongly about everyday sexism.

Former canvasser here! Should not have asked your husband how other people in the household were voting. Canvasser should have asked if he could speak to you.

Everyone is always offended these days!!!

Brocialist = a male socialist who downplays women’s issues or displays a macho attitude.

I’d say the insult matches the canvasser pretty accurately.

We just feel strongly about everyday sexism just not antisemitism huh?!
Honestly I can see your husbands point but equally I don’t think it’s that offensive to warrant going off at the guy

As for the antisemitism whataboutery, I'll engage with it - once.

You can choose from the following options:

1. We, like all Labour voters, are dirty rotten racists

2. We have looked at the available evidence, used our judgement and are satisfied that we can tell the difference between genuine racism and an exceptionally well-funded and organised political smear campaign.

Got to be better than the Tory lot who knocked on my Mums door, asked if her husband was home (he's not been home for 20 years), she says no and they walk away! Perhaps they didn't think her poor lady-brain could cope.

She's the only person on the electoral roll at that address!

Everyday sexism?? Just when I think I've heard all the ridiculous reasons to be offended, up pops another!
Come up here, love, to our northern working class town and bring your old man, see how long you both last before you're reaching for the vapours....
Give me strength!!!

Your DH was silly.

It's not the "missus" thing people!

It's the fact that the canvasser asked the husband how his wife would be voting, assuming that the husband knew this and could peak for her.

He should have asked whether any other voters were home, and asked to talk to them.

I get it OP. I opened the door to a Labour canvasser, with my husband coming up behind me as I did so. The canvasser reached past me to shake my husband's hand and introduce himself,then proceeded to have an entire conversation with my husband. I finally said, "Wow". It would've been great if my husband had called him out on it.

I mean the Tories have become fascists so anyone would be a fool voting for them. But Labour needs to do a lot of work on its attitudes to women.

Presumably he wanted to speak to your wife about her political views and didn't know her name.
Struggling to see any sexism

I think you both need to chill out a bit.

Well you're unreasonable to vote for labour but that's not what you're asking.

If you don't wish to be referred to as the missus or his wife, what exactly would you like to be referred to in this instance? The woman who lives here? Your partner in marriage?

Sounds more like a case of everyday snobbery than everyday sexism tbh.

Also, I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to assume that a husband and wife might discuss their voting intentions with each other. If your husband wasn't comfortable divulging your voting intentions on your behalf then he could have said so politely.

Completely ridiculous behaviour in my opinion.

Now I'm confused.

How in the blue blazes of fiery hell in a handbasket is 'and your Missus' 'casual sexism'??

Stop the world, I want to get off.

Doesn’t sound sexist at all. It’s a silly term and not one I use but he was simply asking your dh if he knew if you were also voting labour.

Brosocialist seems an accurate description. Not unreasonable at all.

God, I just don't have the energy to get worked up about these expressions.

Jesus 🙄

Also, I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to assume that a husband and wife might discuss their voting intentions with each other. If your husband wasn't comfortable divulging your voting intentions on your behalf then he could have said so politely.

This. My husband and I discuss our views and vote as a family due to me not being able to. We have similar views anyway so if I was able to we’d more than likely vote the same anyway. Once the voter gets to the polling place, they may change your mind..

For all your husband knew, the canvasser could have been relatively new and forgot what phrases he was supposed to say and went with “missus”. Unless the canvasser was being purposely rude in tone, your husband was being highly unreasonable to name call. He could have easily said “don’t know, let me get her”.

However, if you were standing beside your husband when he asked, then that would be different.

Curious though, did the guy apologise?

*their

Most people do know how their spouses vote though. I suspect if the OP had answered the door he'd have asked about her husband/ hubby/partner. Not really getting the sexism here and agree sexism is assuming the OP would just vote the same as her husband

Are you in the North?