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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 80% of the people on here are pretty rude & mean

108 replies

Youngmamaa2 · 05/12/2019 14:52

It seems most things I post on here, the responses are just filled with rude, sarcastic people. So are the things I read on other people's responses. If you don't agree with someone or their posts bother you, don't comment just move on 😒

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/12/2019 16:32

Why are you still using MN if you think the posters are so awful OP? The internet is massive. If this forum isn’t giving you the validation you require you might be more comfortable elsewhere and have been given suggestions.

Hingeandbracket · 05/12/2019 16:33

Bit surprised no-one has trotted out “you wouldn’t say that to my face” yet.
This AIBU not the queue in the Post Office.

Lulufluff · 05/12/2019 16:33

I think people have many different opinions and it’s interesting to hear what other users think of certain situations and in real every day life you will get mixed opinions so it’s kinda a given

StrayWoman · 05/12/2019 16:35

Rude and mean = disagreeing with the opinion of the poster.

Standard AIBU.

NoSauce · 05/12/2019 16:37

Youngmamaa2 going off your username you’re a Live Laugh Love kinda girl. Wouldn’t say anything to someone’s face but behind their back is another matter?

AMIRIGHT.

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 16:38

Haha "this AIBU not the queue in the Post Office"

Further confirmation as per my earlier post, that there are people on here who just love the anonymity, and how it afford them the opportunity to give someone a right verbal kicking.

I felt awful for one OP once who posted about her domestic violence issue with a real emotional dilemna. Oh no, perish the thought that a woman would like sensible advice from other fellow women. Nope, the spelling police were out, as were the "you clearly are aggressive to your DP, you provoke him", and a load of others looking at minutiae like some frustrated lawyers or the bitter pedants they most likely are.

That doesn't make for good discussion, it's just a bearpit enjoyed by people with Malory Towers fantasies who want to be mean girls without any repercussions.

NoSauce · 05/12/2019 16:42

Well yes there are some twats that ignore someone’s plight in order to tell them they’ve used the wrong there.

But there’s a lot of lovely posters offering support too. Maybe we should be looking at those posters instead of the negative ones.

DragonontheWagon · 05/12/2019 16:49

Op I'm going to say this kindly, I've just AS your name, I think you might need a bit of real life support if you can get some. Your posts show that you're living quite a chaotic life with your partners issues and your in-laws.

I think getting wound up because people are saying it as it is means rather than being mean, means you should possibly take some timeout from Mumsnet.

MrsToothyBitch · 05/12/2019 16:54

There are some incredibly rude & catty replies on here, but thankfully they are a minority. You also get some lovely replies, the odd strange one and some judgemental ones. I just feel sad that some people clearly can't resist putting the boot in. But I find mumsnet positive, for the most part.

What makes me are the smug replies upbraiding the op for not being as perfect as the poster and the ones who make themselves out to be utter saints. Also reading an anecdote thread the other day, OP had done the usual "piss off Daily Mail" disclaimer & someone had pointedly replied amidst the funny stories asking "why the daily mail would be interested in this boring thread". Someone deserved a "did you mean to be so rude?"!

MashedSpud · 05/12/2019 16:57

If you post in AIBU you’re going to get straightforward answers.

GinDaddy · 05/12/2019 16:57

And conversely, @Youngmamaa2 I think your original post is very valid and accurate, no matter what you're going through. I don't think you should have to take time out from Mumsnet just to allow room for some posters to be "robust" ( more accurately, bullying ) with their posts

ohweedoggie · 05/12/2019 16:57

It's nowhere near 80%

itsmecathycomehome · 05/12/2019 17:06

I've been here for years under various names and have never had a rude response.

AIBU is known for it though, so perhaps best avoided by sensitive types.

Usually the rudest responses are reserved for people who won't accept an overwhelming YABU.

And when the op is themselves making life difficult for someone - a spouse, friend, neighbour, teacher, cashier, random stranger who dared speak to them - I think they deserve it really.

dirtyrottenscoundrel · 05/12/2019 17:08

I swear there’s at least 3 threads like this every week.

tiredsleepysleep · 05/12/2019 17:09

"If you don't agree with someone or their posts bother you, don't comment just move on "

You do realise that AIBU is a question? So some people will reply that they don't agree with you, and then usually explain why they don't agree. If you don't like that then I suggest a different thread such as Chat, or a topic specific thread. I've found great advice and support in the TTC and infertility topics and found interesting things in the property topic. I think AIBU isn't the place for you.

SummerPavillion · 05/12/2019 17:12

I 80% agree with you. And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

SickNotes · 05/12/2019 17:17

Honestly, while there are certainly some posters who delight in being anonymously arsy, some people's outraged response to getting responses other than 'Of course you're 110% right, OP' suggests they have literally never had someone challenge or disagree outright with them in their lives.

BackforGood · 05/12/2019 17:19

If you don't agree with someone
WTAF? Have you seen the heading at the top? This is AM I being unreasonable, not Tell Me Everything is lovely and I am right.

This ^

If you don't want people to be honest, don't ask if YABU

If you want support, then post in relationships.
Start your post by saying you are feeling a bit sensitive at the moment. There's LOADS of support all over MN, however AIBU is for asking honest opinions.

NotAPoshTelevision · 05/12/2019 17:28

Someone is obviously bored.

rumandbiscuits · 05/12/2019 17:40

I think what the OP means (correct me if I'm wrong OP) is that some people are just unreasonably mean in there responses. By all means give your opinion (that's what the board is about after all!) but there's no need for the aggression or nasty tone some people use. I do disagree that it's 80% of posts I'd say more like 10% maybe less.

bridgetreilly · 05/12/2019 17:46

Oh, grow up.

FrankieDoyle · 05/12/2019 17:50

So by your logic, you only want comments that agree with you?

UtuNorantiPralatongsThirdEye · 05/12/2019 17:51

I think what the OP means (correct me if I'm wrong OP) is that some people are just unreasonably mean in there responses

What does that actually matter though? We are all adults, if you can't handle a bit of harshness on AIBU then fuck off to some fluffy place.

People need to grow up, it's like this place has been taken over by teenagers lately. All this "people are mean" "You're all just bitches" "jealous haters" etc is pathetic.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 05/12/2019 17:54

Ah hugz hunny
Lol

Luckingfovely · 05/12/2019 17:57

Ah it's Christmas and snowflake syndrome is here

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