To think co-sleeping really isn't a good idea

[Sweetpeach3]

So baby number 3 is due in 2 weeks. The rules have changed every single pregnancy iv had and tbh I can never keep up to date to know right and wrong by the health professionals. One min it's okay next it's not....
but health visitor came to see me last week (new procedure is they come out before the baby is born to make sure your okay and if you have any worries) iv had the same lady for all 3 DC and tbh I did find this a help as I'm going to breast feed this time (if I can ) plus I'm now a single mum to 3 and one is disabled so her advice was well needed I don't actually feel alone as much as I first did
Dad doesn't want to know baby number 3 just the other 2 (he's a twat I know) 🤣
BUT

the newest one was your now ALLOWED to co-sleep with your baby aslong as you don't have the covers on you and the baby is lay flat???
The thought of this terrified me I personally wouldn't do this it scares the life out of me and Iv just seen an article saying newborn twins died as their mum fell asleep with them co-sleeping
AIBU to think this rule change is wrong and scary on so many levels ?

I co slept with both of mine , they’re both in their 20 s now

It’s the natural place for babies to sleep

DS is 17 months and we still co sleep because I bloody love cuddling him in bed and he’s still BF, and I’m 2 months pregnant and dreading that in 7 months he will need to go in his own bed so the next one can sleep with me 😢😢😢😢

Co-sleeping is saving my sanity. My 8mo would wake up and cry for me every 45-60 minutes every single night from his cot. No exaggeration. Co-sleeping has always improved both of our sleep.

I suggest you do your own research! There’s so much to decide on, and I find it best to get informed then make up my own mind.

Sounds like your hv was helpful, which is good to hear!

I co-slept with ds, and it was great. You naturally curve towards the baby in your sleep, one arm curved above them, and he could wriggle over and latch on. We all got a lot more sleep. I wish I’d done it with dd too but I was too nervous to.

I coslept with all of mine from birth until the age of 2 or 3. Loved it and so did they.

But hang on, you're worried about the safety aspects of co sleeping but at one time intentionally let your baby sleep with a blanket over this face?!

I loved co-sleeping, so glad I did it. DC and me got amazing sleep, and they felt safe and loved all night. I wouldn't necessarily think it was right (or safe) for everyone but when you follow simple precautions and if it suits you it's amazing!

I co-slept with my 4 babies for over a year each. They all sleep in their own beds now.

Co-sleeping is the norm is a lot of other cultures and their cot death rate is virtually zero. Those mothers think we are weird putting our newborn in a box with bars on it in another room away from us.

If coalescing was so dangerous we never would have survived as a species.

I personally think it's much better to be able to provide advice on how to cosleep safely rather than recommend against it and not be able to promote it by providing information about minimising risk.

I would be too worried myself to do it from new born but I conapped with ds from about 8 weeks and it was just gorgeous, we used to wake forehead to forehead and snuggled together. I miss it so much now hes a wriggly toddler who wont bed share!

I'm co-sleeping with my second. I was worrying about getting it 'wrong' with my first. This tome I don't give a monkey. It works for me. If you're unsure, that's ok. Just do what you think is best.

Thank you all for the good story's

Really changed my opinion on how good it is and better for mum an baby specially when breast feeding

I am lucky I have a great HV. She sat with me for a good hour on feeding techniques, positions an explained things I was worried about. Also Advice on the safe sleeping if I do decide to sleep with baby.
I feel quite lucky iv had her for all 3 so I know her now and I feel comfy to ask what I want and not on egg shells x

@meow1989 haha think toddlers are the worst for bed sharing and Dovet hogging!!!
No doubt I wake up with one of my two in bed. A foot in my face. I usually have a leg on the floor to keep me in and their lay the wrong way across the bed- this is why iv a foot in my face and balancing myself into bed! Xx

My understanding is advice has been changed following a policy decision that co-sleeping happens anyway so needs proper guidance.

I co-slept with both my kids and am in favour of safe HV guidelines on this. I was repeatedly given sleeping advice which didn’t work, and co-sleeping happened out of desperation.

I never co slept for a few reasons. I would never forgive myself if I rolled on baby. I assume moving from co sleeping to cot would be very difficult.

DS1 was never interested in co-sleeping; from the minute he was born he liked to be snug in his moses basket for sleep.

DS2 was the absolute opposite and always liked company at night. I tried all kinds of stuff but in order to function for DS1 and when I went back to work I gave up and learned to co-sleep safely. I'd never have done it if I'd drunk or done any medication, but it worked so well for us. MIL always exclaimed I was making a rod for my own back etc and she couldn't have been more wrong; he's 8 now and a fabulous sleeper, he just needed to be near me at night time and life was so much easier when I worked with what he needed.

I think it was more a move to mitigate risk. All new mothers are exhausted. So many often fall asleep with baby, particularly when feeding and this is the safest advice to give. When they were saying “Don’t do it” people didn’t take the right measures because they didn’t intend to. This way, atleast, mothers can be as safe as possible if and when it does happen.

I think people need to remember the risks are very, very low. Even where there are additional factors the risk remains low but obviously it’s best to be reasonably cautious. In the neonatal period the main causes of those very rare deaths are related to congenital anomaly and immaturity.

I co-slept with all of mine in neonatal period. It helped establish good breastfeeding relationship and allowed sleep. I wouldn’t have done so after drinking and I abhor smoking. My babies were all big and post term.

I never co-slept with mine til he was around 9 months, because I was scared of squashing him, but it's been a godsend when he's woken at 4-5am and I've been able to pop him on the breast in our King Size bed, push the duvet down around my knees and sleep until 7ish.

I was a breastfeeding peer supporter and we often had mums come in and guiltily admit that they were co-sleeping. We had to signpost them to the safe sleeping info. They wouldn't admit to co-sleeping to any hcp because they were scared of being judged.
At least nowadays there is more clarity and information for parents. I did end up co-sleeping whilst breastfeeding my third baby.

Like all parenting decisions, you do your research, make your choices, and live with the consequences. My son would not sleep away from me, and his sister was a terrible sleeper, so safe bed sharing worked for us. I would plait my hair, sleep under just a thin sheet, and not have him between my partner and I.

You naturally curve towards your baby...

Ha! I used to move away from him, as I was so concerned about squishing him. He would keep smooshing up to me. We would end up pretty much diagonal across the bed, with my poor husband perched on the end!

I co slept with all mine. I tried not to at first with the eldest and cracked after a few weeks. Best parenting decision I ever made; I think we were all a lot safer when I wasn't chronically sleep deprived.

With my first 2 I would fall asleep unprepared while feeding out of sheer tiredness which was FAR more dangerous than when I planned co slept with numbers 3 and 4 and loved it. So much better rest and sleep. So much more relaxed.

I could-slept with all 4 of mine. Found it easier given I worked long hours. Now I just co-sleep with the dog 😂

after 2 months of sleep deprivation I co-slept and it was wonderful - until first was 3.

For second I didn't even bother buying a cot/moses basket, and, being an entirely different child, he moved in with his brother at 8 months when he self-weaned (a very sturdy child even at 8 months) - and they've slept together on and off ever since (he's 6 now) - makes hotels very easy! Although they're a bit big for both to share a double with us now.

I think you need to play it all by ear - some kids are fine sleeping in cots, some only want to sleep on mum. Some feed every 10-30 minutes day and night for months (DS1) until they're 3, some have massive stomachs, and sleep through 7-7 and self-wean to real food at 8 months (DS1)

Didn’t need to cosleep with first
Resisted with second
Second was 21 months when third came along
I have coslept with third from day one and he’s now two. I love sleeping with him and he is still breastfeeding. I also now have second child in with us at least one night a week.
I bought a super king size bed with a firm mattress no memory foam. We have sheets and blankets and I wear extra layers. I love it they sleep more and so do I.

I am a single parent so it’s easier I guess.

Oh god. Second was DS2 obviously... and all of us to share a double is a squeeze, not just those two (they'll share a single). If DP's away they ask to share, and I end up sleeping at the end of the bed like a dog!