To think co-sleeping really isn't a good idea

[Sweetpeach3]

So baby number 3 is due in 2 weeks. The rules have changed every single pregnancy iv had and tbh I can never keep up to date to know right and wrong by the health professionals. One min it's okay next it's not....
but health visitor came to see me last week (new procedure is they come out before the baby is born to make sure your okay and if you have any worries) iv had the same lady for all 3 DC and tbh I did find this a help as I'm going to breast feed this time (if I can ) plus I'm now a single mum to 3 and one is disabled so her advice was well needed I don't actually feel alone as much as I first did
Dad doesn't want to know baby number 3 just the other 2 (he's a twat I know) 🤣
BUT

the newest one was your now ALLOWED to co-sleep with your baby aslong as you don't have the covers on you and the baby is lay flat???
The thought of this terrified me I personally wouldn't do this it scares the life out of me and Iv just seen an article saying newborn twins died as their mum fell asleep with them co-sleeping
AIBU to think this rule change is wrong and scary on so many levels ?

Co-sleeping in many countries is normal, and those countries have much lower rates of cot death. The UK's horror of it is not healthy. I got 1000 times more sleep and time with my baby sleeping where he naturally should have been - mammals sleep with their young - than stuck in another room alone. Follow the rules and it's fine.

If you’ve never breastfed a baby you just wont understand this.

During cluster feeding and especially at the 4 month sleep regression co sleeping saved me. I would much rather feed on my side the correct way rather than fall asleep with her while sitting up.

You can’t do this if you are bottle feeding as you don’t have the same awareness/ connection (midwifes words not mine). Follow the rules and it’s fine.

We co-slept with all 3 of ours with no problems.
I wonder how other cultures manage to survive when co-sleeping is the only option...🤔

@catandadogandababy

They go hand in hand because your body is wired to your baby in a specific way to do with your breasts/milk/hormones I think. Plus you don’t need to get up to get bottles you just shove a nipple in a mouth 2cm from
You and go into a nice little doze.

I’m very passionate about this topic, because the uneducated cunt of a HV who came when DS a was 2 years old told me, when I told
Her I was co sleeping (after I realised the first night that my baby was not
Going to sleep if not in my
Arms so I’d better do it safely than fall asleep sitting upright and drop him) about a local
Baby who has just died co sleeping blah blah blah. I was too nervous to say anything to her at the time but if I ever see her again I will
Tell her to her ignorant face how unbelievably awful it was to tell me that!

I meant to say ‘I was given safe co-sleeping advice when my DC1 was born 12 years ago, but didn’t think I would need it 🤣’

Never co-slept, never will it terrifies me

YABU. I was scared senseless with my first after I was sent home with a leaflet basically saying if you sleep with your baby you’ll kill it.

The reason they have changed their approach is because many, many women including myself ended up Co-sleeping because it was the only way to actually sleep. But they weren’t telling anyone because they saw it as wrong/shameful.

I’ve slept with my second from day 1, shes 6 months now. No pillows/quilt/blanket near her. In a sleeping bag, firm mattress right next to me. She has slept fantastically from day 1. Babies are 100% tuned to want to sleep next to you.

There are of course babies who die from being suffocated by a parent co sleeping, BUT be careful with statistics. SIDS is often misdiagnosed as ‘suffocation’ when bed sharing, when it would still have happened in an empty cot/Moses.

*two DAYS old!!!

Co-sleeping actually just means having the baby in the same room as you - so even in a cot. Bed-sharing is a form of co-sleeping.

If you don't like it, don't do it.

@crispysausagerolls.

about a local
Baby who has just died co sleeping blah blah blah.

That is awful!! What a cow! hope you bump into her...

I think co sleeping may be a very good option for me this time around due to my circumstances and trying breast feeding as I'm expecting this alone to wipe me out (I'm prepared for it to not be easy). I'm just very nervous about that and breast feeding even though it's number 3 I'm nervous as ever for my new arrival? Don't know if it's because I'm on my own, my son is now disabled and I'm finding him hard to deal with etc just a load of stressful emotions but seeing as a lot of you have done it and found it safe I don't think I'm worrying as much hearing your story's. You just only see bad ones in the news.

Like I said I'm fully healthy. Baby's healthy and near enough full term. Other 2 are totally healthy appart from Ds recently having a devistating diagnosis)) I don't drink, smoke etc so I don't have any risk factors. Only thing il do is sleep in a onesie if I decide to co-sleep lol x

I did it. It's perfectly safe if you do it safely.

i really don't care what HV has to say on that subject. I'm having my visit the week after next. i used my common sense and maternal instincts with DS and he's beautiful and healthy and happy (despite co-sleeping for 15 months back when it was not recommended 🤭) and i'll do the same with this one.

Watch the film the milky way on amazon prime.

It basically says that it's natural and normal for a newborn to sleep with you nuzzled onto your breast and an important part of the babies development.

If your breastfeeding then I think co sleeping is the way to go.

I was terrified of co-sleeping but I had a baby who would not sleep at all without it. What are you supposed to do? Just not sleep at all for months? Better to give people advice to make co-sleeping as safe as possible rather than tell them not to do it and wait for them to fall asleep on the sofa holding the baby, which really is dangerous.

Bedside cots are good. Baby has its own sleep surface but is right next to you. Still wasn't close enough for one of mine for the first few weeks though.

With DC1, I was terrified to co-sleep with him. I sat up with him, all night every bloody night, while he fed for 20 minutes out of every hour and took another half an hour to settle back in his crib, only to repeat the process the next hour. After a couple of weeks I was an exhausted, depressed, sleep-deprived wreck and he was a hungry, exhausted, upset little baby.
DC2 arrived when DC1 was 18mo (and still a terrible sleeper). I was still sleep-deprived, depressed and exhausted. I had to weigh up what was best for all of us, ie me not being so tired I'd be a risk in terms of eg. crashing the car or dropping her. So we co-slept. I followed the guidance as far as possible. She stirred in the night, I stuck her on my boob, she fed, we both went back to sleep (except I was still getting up multiple times with DC1 🙄). She moved into her own room at 6mths with relative ease and was happy to be fed in the chair then put back down in her cot.
The thing is, when you've other DC to care for too, you have to make an decision based on what works best for your family... not what they tell you the current rules are this week.
Good luck with the birth OP and enjoy your new baby.

Nine years ago i was adamant that I wouldn't co-sleep, and turned down the advice from midwives in the hospital. Baby slept well in hospital, but when we got home had other ideas! I remember looking up some guidelines, which I think were UNICEF? And I also remember finding info on the Bradford study. We didn't cosleep every night, but when health visitor pulled a face, I was able to give her the information I'd found to reassure her I was doing it safely. We didn't cosleep every night - just when needed (although nine years later, this is currently every night!) I guess it's not for everyone and if you're not confident that you can do it safely, then it's best not to do it.

I think you do what you’re comfortable with, definitely agree it’s helpful during cluster feeding.

Although, I have a 13 month old DS who I’m still feeding and co sleeping with and he wants to snuggle in at night, which is lovely but also has it challenges as I have DS6 who wants tucked in, school uniform to iron for tomorrow and I need to get ready for work tomorrow but DH is night shift and DS2 won’t sleep in his cot (every time I put him in he starts to cry) so I’m stuck in bed wondering how the heck I can get organised 🙈. It has its benefits and it’s drawbacks.....

Those next to the bed cribs or cots, which lay at the same level and you can put the side down?

I still co-sleep. Absolute life saver for me. I sleep under the duvet and my toddler is in his sleeping bag on top of the duvet. When he started moving about a lot in his sleep, I just got some bed guards so that he doesn't roll off the bed.

I coslept and I agree it's not ideal. It took a toll on me health wise as I didn't sleep properly.

However, I had a baby who screamed if put in his cot, even though the cot was next to me. I persevered with it for a while and was getting about 2 hours broken sleep a night. I got to the point where I was so tired I was almost hysterical.

In the end I felt cosleeping was the safer choice because I was so tired otherwise I might have put my son in danger.

I think a lot of other parents find themselves in that position.

I actually love that you have a HV that advises on safe cosleeping rather than it being a taboo topic that can't openly be discussed. Co sleeping can be done safely and can be lovely.

I co slept with mine, so much easier when breast feeding (I fed lying down at night) When mine were born there was a theory that it prevented cot deaths because they could hear your heartbeat or something

I co-slept with my first child between the ages of 4-9 months.

When my second one came along I co-slept from when he was 4-5 weeks of age because it was the only way I was getting any sleep.

I would place him so his head was at the top of the bed (no pillows) and I would shuffle myself down the bed so my head was level with his stomach. This meant that I could have a blanket over me because even when it was pulled up to my shoulders it would still only be covering my baby’s feet and not his body at all. He was sleeping on a gro-bag so I knew he was always warm enough.

Because of how I positioned us, I.e him higher up the bed than me, it meant that even if I did roll over in my sleep towards him then I would only put my face over the lower part of his sleeping bag, I was never at risk of rolling onto his body.

Co-sleeping goes on far, far more than people probably realise and by making it more talked about will mean it can be done safely. Mothers shouldn’t have to be scared to seek out advice to do something that is completely natural.

If done safely co-sleeping is great. I did it lots with my younger one. It meant we both slept better.