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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be gutted the hospital sided with the doctor **Trigger warning - sexual abuse** [Title edited by MNHQ]

78 replies

Krazynights34 · 04/12/2019 19:13

I posted a while back in Chat about one of my DC’s doctors touching me in a sexual manner.
It took them months to investigate and they’ve written to tell me they believed him over me.
I feel properly gutted - they interviewed me and despite everything I said being true they believe him.
I’ve

OP posts:
Original poster
Krazynights34 · 04/12/2019 19:14

Sorry pressed post too soon! I’ve already gone to the GMC.
Was I unreasonable to expect to be believed?

OP posts:
Stupiddriver1 · 04/12/2019 19:15

Could you report to the police.

I'm sorry they didn't believe you.... I guess they won't be the most impartial body.

Biancadelrioisback · 04/12/2019 19:15

I'm really sorry that happened.
What actually happened? Sorry I missed your other thread. How are you doing? Have you had plenty of support from other avenues?

Biancadelrioisback · 04/12/2019 19:16

Avenues isn't the right word but I can't think what word I mean...

TheoriginalLEM · 04/12/2019 19:16

I believe you Flowers

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 04/12/2019 19:17

Unfortunately it’s your word against his, is their any witnesses/evidence to back your sexual assault claim.

Did you go to the police.

Schuyler · 04/12/2019 19:21

Of course YANBU to be upset. Such a horrible thing to go through, I’m sorry. Flowers it’s so hard to get justice when it’s one persons word against the other.

Nessaofbarry · 04/12/2019 19:22

I’m sorry you went through this.
Was there any evidence of it? If not then it’s just your word against his so they probably just showed solidarity rightly or wrongly with their colleague. I’m not saying you’re lying, I just mean that without evidence, they probably didn’t want to sack him

Flowers
AwdBovril · 04/12/2019 19:23

I believe you. Flowers

If he has done it to you, he'll likely do it to someone else, eventually, & he's not likely to get away with it as easily next time, now, I wouldn't think. Definitely go to the police, if you haven't already, so your complaint is on record with them too.

Ginger1982 · 04/12/2019 19:28

Can you link to past thread?

Scapegoatforlife · 04/12/2019 19:32

Unfortunately if we believed every accusation the law would be really difficult to uphold. If this doctor has no prior issues on his record and is otherwise trustworthy they would probably just give a warning without further proof. I'm so sorry you've gone through this x

PrittSticky · 04/12/2019 19:35

If there is no evidence, there is nothing they can do.

They can’t end someone’s career over an unsubstantiated allegation - they’d get sued and they’d lose.

user1497207191 · 04/12/2019 19:42

NHS closes ranks to protect it's own.

Peter Duffy was hounded out of his job as a NHS consultant at Lancaster Royal Infirmary for whistle blowing.

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-lancashire-49598577

Sadly it's what they do. NHS staff are above criticism sadly.

Lockheart · 04/12/2019 19:46

I'm sorry to hear that OP.

What have they actually written to you though? If it's any comfort I really doubt it's a "we don't believe you", more than a "we have no evidence of this so there's nothing to be done at this stage".

BlouseAndSkirt · 04/12/2019 19:47

I believe you OP.

You were very brave to take action and I am sorry the outcome is so unjust.

Hopefully what you did will make him think twice in future, and so help other women, and it will certainly be on file now in case anyone else makes a similar complaint.

PanamaPattie · 04/12/2019 19:47

Report it to the police. A record will made. They may investigate. If he has offended before, it will show a pattern of behaviour and it will stay on file for years.

user1511042793 · 04/12/2019 19:49

At the bottom of your letter from the hospital will be the contact numbers and address for the ombudsman. Send your complaint their as well as the gmc. You can also contact the police. You would if it happened in the street. This is no different.

plaintainchips · 04/12/2019 19:50

I’m so sorry. Flowers
They were never going to be very impartial so police action may be a vastly better option

anenomeV19 · 04/12/2019 19:51

Be aware that if you try to go public you will be threatened with legal action for defamation they do this a lot (first hand experience) they def close ranks and defend each other at any cost sadly

CorBlimeyGovenor · 04/12/2019 19:57

Do you know for definite that they believed him and disbelieved you? More than likely, as it's just your word against his, then they wouldn't really be in a position to strike him off. That's not to say that you weren't heard or believed, just that they had insufficient evidence against him! He acted very inappropriately, but your complaint will remain on file and he will have been through an investigation. That should hopefully be enough to keep him in check. If not, then if someone else comes forward, then your complaint will help the next person. So please don't see your complaint as having been in vain. It was very important that you were brave enough to come forward and report him. I hope that DC is doing ok.

WellThisIsShit · 04/12/2019 20:00

I’m so sorry.

My sons, um, attacker or whatever you’d call him, he walked free with no ‘shadow’ on his record at all, it wasn’t pursued by the cps or LADO. Cps I understand more, but LADO specifically wrote that ‘it’s just one word against the other’, and although it may well of happened, ‘DS couldn’t prove any sexual intent’.

This was decided by people who’d never met DS, and noone who had met either DS or the man were in the room making the decisions. (On holiday and apparently the notes were good enough).

My son was 6yrs old and was sexually assaulted by a male carer. My son didn’t understand why this man was doing what he did, although as he gets older it’s sadly falling into place and he’s reprocessing the trauma all over again.

The police who did the initial investigation were gutted to hear the outcome, as they believed him and expected a very different result.

user1497207191 · 04/12/2019 20:02

He acted very inappropriately, but your complaint will remain on file and he will have been through an investigation. That should hopefully be enough to keep him in check. If not, then if someone else comes forward, then your complaint will help the next person. So please don't see your complaint as having been in vain.

In consultant Peter Duffy's book, he mentioned huge numbers of complaints being made against a particular doctor before action was taken. OK, not sexual abuse/assault, in that case, but it demonstrated that it takes more than "a few" complaints for any action to be taken to help others.

Rockingdahorse · 04/12/2019 20:03

what happened?

What reasons did they give for their decision?

mustardbean · 04/12/2019 20:03

I believe you.

I agree it's not that they likely don't believe you, perhaps that they don't feel they have enough.

It seems extremely unjust though.

I agree about the Police and the GMC. It still might not give you a different outcome, but it might be something to know you have put it down on his record that will follow him around. Which might add to previous concerns these agencies have, or start the record- to prevent him doing the same again, or for others to add to, for further collaboration if he does.

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Rockingdahorse · 04/12/2019 20:07

Is the incident with your DC's doctor a different incident from the thread you had about being assaulted by your chiropractor?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3710491-to-not-know-what-to-do-about-inappropriate-manager

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