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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

R. E my 13yr old.

96 replies

RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 08:59

Myself and dd have a virus. Nothing bad just what's going around.
Ds started coughing last night. He's always been dramatic and makes all the right grumbling sounds to result in a day off school. Inevitably he ends up absolutely fine and sat in his games console. More so if I've gone out. ( he's 14 next month so happy. To leave him for things like that but wouldn't if was sick or tummy bug or whatever)
So a few times last nigh he coughed. And this morning. Resulting in the muuumm I feel so ill etc. He fooled me. And is now sat watching TV and asking what he can have for breakfast.. Wants a bacon roll or something and already grabbed a few Biscuits.
He could. Have gone to school but now dh has already left so can't take him.
I know full well hell try and go to his room. And sit on the console all day..

Aibu to Get dh to block it? He can do it from his phone.. That's how we time limit him. And I mean block until tomorrow. (, my dm reckons just until school finishes) Too ill for school too ill to play that right?

Then I know full well next week when he has brace tightened hell try to angle for the day off because it hurts..

OP posts:
HoneysuckIejasmine · 04/12/2019 09:01

Can he not walk or get bus to school? Certainly turn console off. No rich foods like bacon sandwiches and biscuits either.

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/12/2019 09:02

Is there a reason you are not just taking him/making him go in now?

Ohyesiam · 04/12/2019 09:04

Taxi to school?

Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:05

Too far to walk.
He snuck the biscuits when I made our bed.
It would be blocked restricted. I have to go out later and I know if it was just turned off then he'd get on it. So this way he can't.

OP posts:
WaterSheep · 04/12/2019 09:06

Just how many days are you letting him skive off of school? It sounds like a regular occurrence.

I'd be taking him to school. It's only 9am he won't have missed much, and it's far better than lounging round the house all day whining for his console.

Wheredidigowrongggggg · 04/12/2019 09:06

Er, be a parent and say no console? And get him to bloody school if he’s not ill? Even it it’s multiple buses, life lesson right there.

I hate parents who say ‘but how do i stop them going on the console?’ Or ‘but I say no and they go on anyway/break our passcodes etc‘. For gods sake grow some balls and instil some discipline. If they do stuff when you say no, remove stuff. Permanently if necessary. It’s not rocket science? Clearly this lying is the product of not doing so, so get on it sharpish. Although at 14 you may have missed the boat.

PerrysWinkle · 04/12/2019 09:06

Get him to school. If he’s well enough to scoff a bacon sandwich and start gaming he’s well enough for school. Now he knows he can hoodwink you, he’ll keep doing it.
Don’t be soft OP, get him to school.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends · 04/12/2019 09:07

In our house if you're too ill for school you stay in bed, no tv no devices. Reading or do homework/study if start to feel better.

I would tell him that and if he complains he goes to school.

WaxOnFeckOff · 04/12/2019 09:07

I think you are storing up trouble for later to be honest. Get him to school.

Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:07

Dh has the car as his clutch has gone. Otherwise I would.
I rang the school and said he said he's ill but I belive he could go. They said if enough to collect they send the truancy mini bus. Happy for that. Of not he's gonna be very bored.

OP posts:
flippinehh · 04/12/2019 09:07

When mine are ill and off school (not often) they stay in their rooms and read or sleep. If unwell with d&v or a temp then I'll allow tv but there's no incentive to stay home.

YANBU

cheesydoesit · 04/12/2019 09:08

How far is too far to walk? Are there no buses available?

ClemDanFango · 04/12/2019 09:08

You knew he was swinging the lead so why did you let him stay off?
School would have sent him home if he was that bad. You should have given him paracetamol and sent him in. He behaves like this because he knows he can get round you.

Wheredidigowrongggggg · 04/12/2019 09:09

If you are getting the school to send the truancy bus, you are totally out of control as a parent. YOU get him to school. Why should public money and time be spent on your crap parenting?

summersherewishiwasnt · 04/12/2019 09:10

School . He should at least try it.
Go the administrator settings of your internet, find the IP address of his console and block it. You should do this anyway to stop him being up all night playing. Mine used to block from 9PM-9AM every day.
“If you leave your kids to their own devices..... they may never leave their devices”. I think that’s the NSPC advice, can’t remember who said that. But it’s true.
School, he should be in school.

Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:10

I can't physically get him to school I have no car. I can't afford a taxi, no public transport there used to be but they made. Cuts that took a section of the route out.
Which is why dh normally takes him on the way to work
I've said block the x box and the WiFi is now off.

Occueance.. Maybe 3 a year?

OP posts:
Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:11

I have no taxi fare. Its 4.8 miles. No public transport as a section was taken out. It was 3 busses but a round about face way.
DH has already left.

OP posts:
Ilovenutellaaaaa · 04/12/2019 09:12

How far is school?..can you put him in a taxi and deduct the taxi fare from his pocket money?

Can a friend or neighbour drive him to school?..

I wouldn't let him stay off if he is well as all that teaches him is he lied, got a day off school, you found out, and he still didn't have to go to school...

block his game (or get your DH to block it)...block it enough time that he misses it and regrets lying to you (then he will learn lies have consequences)

puds11 · 04/12/2019 09:12

Of course block the console Hmm if you’re sick you aren’t playing video games. Toast and water or hot lemon only.

Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:14

It's blocked its done via his Microsoft setting in dh phone. WiFi is off.

OP posts:
Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:16

Only moved in Sept. (previous threads) don't know a neighbour. Everyone else at work.
Just crap I don't have the car today.

I would do the deducting from. Pocket money but I don't have the money to pay it till dh gets paid tomorrow so unfortunately. But great idea I'll remember that in future

OP posts:
IckyIsAFuckingStupidWord · 04/12/2019 09:16

Bike? God when my sons ‘ill’ like yours I still send him and just say if you’re that ill, I’ll come and pick you up after PM registration. He inevitably has gone in with a belly ache at times but managed to stay all day so obviously not too unwell to be there.

Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:19

Yes we have a 9pm restriction on it normally like I say dh does it on his phone to do with Microsoft. I'm. Not sure how it works. He normally has it from shower and homework done (approx 6.30), until 9. But dinner is during that time and clearing up. So prob gets 1.5 hours.
The restriction is on until 6.30 tomorrow night

OP posts:
Original poster
RollOnNextYear · 04/12/2019 09:22

Great idea of bike. If I can do his inner tube he can go. He tried the weekend but is dyspraxic, and was dh job to do this week. But I'll. Give it a go.

OP posts:
FraglesRock · 04/12/2019 09:24

When I was at school we were offered toast and the tv. Nothing else as we were ill!
So I followed the same with mine, no evening activity either. No wifi, no gaming.
I never disbelieved them, but said how I'll they looked and they could only manage toast if they were ill etc. Basically made it super boring.

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