R. E my 13yr old.

[RollOnNextYear]

Myself and dd have a virus. Nothing bad just what's going around.
Ds started coughing last night. He's always been dramatic and makes all the right grumbling sounds to result in a day off school. Inevitably he ends up absolutely fine and sat in his games console. More so if I've gone out. ( he's 14 next month so happy. To leave him for things like that but wouldn't if was sick or tummy bug or whatever)
So a few times last nigh he coughed. And this morning. Resulting in the muuumm I feel so ill etc. He fooled me. And is now sat watching TV and asking what he can have for breakfast.. Wants a bacon roll or something and already grabbed a few Biscuits.
He could. Have gone to school but now dh has already left so can't take him.
I know full well hell try and go to his room. And sit on the console all day..

Aibu to Get dh to block it? He can do it from his phone.. That's how we time limit him. And I mean block until tomorrow. (, my dm reckons just until school finishes) Too ill for school too ill to play that right?

Then I know full well next week when he has brace tightened hell try to angle for the day off because it hurts..

He's 13. When he leaves school he's going to have to work, what? 50/60 years? More if they keep raising the age? A few days off school a year is nothing. They don't even learn anything useful anyway.

They don't even learn anything useful anyway.

Might as well not bother turning up at all then!

Just because you’re ill doesn’t mean you’re unable to play a game, it’s completely different to a full day at school!

A few days off school a year is nothing. They don't even learn anything useful anyway.

@xJodiex Granted, you clearly never did but others may have more luck.

I’m hoping you have not been back OP because school have come to collect him!

@butchyrestingface I feel the need to physically travel to you to turn up in person and high five you for that one. 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

@Butchyrestingface

All those sayijng they'd send their kids in ill and they would pick them up early if they were really ill - my parents did that, and I never came home early because the school would never let me contact my parents, and you weren't allowed to without talking to a teacher first.

Didn't mean I wasn't ill, just meant I dragged myself through the day not learning anything.

There must be a bus that goes closer to his school than your house, even if it means he has to walk a mile. How much would a taxi actually be for 4.8 miles, a fiver? He really should be in school, don’t let him fool you again. I’m strict on my DC’s attendance and they’re all primary school, when they start secondary I’ll be even worse.

@Worraliberty in that case she only has herself to blame, she needs to send him not let him stay off and turn the Internet off.

I couldn't do the inner tube. The school truancy bus didn't get send as not enough off.
I told them that he was well enough to go and pulled a fast one. They sent his work online.. So he did that and a list of chores. Along with I'm so bored.. And a I wish I'd just gone this morning!

He then asked me to get him something nice at shop when I took dd to her playgroup.. My reply. No you're ill.

He generally does well at school and is expected good grades and 90% of the time stays after for extra after school.
So I have no worries on his education side of it.
And I know a duvet day doesnt hurt. I've even let him have a duvet day in the past. But to lie to me that's what boils my blood.

Frankly, given the way a great many companies treat their staff (shit pay, unsafe conditions, no job security) and how wholly pointless many jobs are, learning just how far you can push it in terms of duvet days and fake illnesses is a pretty useful set of life skills.

got the tooth removed and got him back to school by the time afternoon lessons started - I didn't give him a choice (not that he asked and apparently the french teacher told him I was hard core grin)
Tooth removal can be really painful afterwards. No way would I send them back just after having it done. That’s miserable, not hardcore.

presumably you aren’t a teenager.

My sister was a serial skiver, was really good at finding excuses. I was at school every single day and never swung the lead. Her work ethic is just as good as mine as an adult, in fact, it’s probably better. Children grow up and grow out of things.

my DS had to have a tooth removed ready for braces - I managed to get him an emergency appointment, picked him up at start of lunch - got the tooth removed and got him back to school by the time afternoon lessons started - I didn't give him a choice

I had a tooth out on Tuesday and I've been knocked flat ever since. I was also spitting blood for 24 hours. Utterly disgraceful forcing a child to go to school straight after a surgical procedure (against the advice of dentists, who tell you to rest up for the rest of the day at least). And to what end? So he can have a perfect attendance record? Madness.

The fact that the kid was watching TV and wanting some breakfast doesn’t mean he wasn’t ill Ffs!

My DD was off on Tuesday with a virus, high temp, headache, tired body and sore throat etc. She seemed better yesterday so she went in and then had a dizzy spell mid morning and I ended up collecting her. She’s off again today.

She’s been allowed to eat breakfast and watch TV/play on her Switch etc because she’s not incapable of functioning, just not feeling well enough for a full day of traipsing around school and concentrating.

Of course block the console if you’re sick you aren’t playing video games. Toast and water or hot lemon only toast and water only if you’re ill?! What’s the science behind that? Surely eating properly to give you the energy to get better is more important than arbitrary rules? And what’s wrong with being able to watch TV instead of reading? My DD loves reading and would happily skip a day of school to do either. I can’t see the merit in making kids so bored they’d rather take their germy ass into school and make sure everyone else catches it?!

I’ve had a virus for about 3 weeks now - first two I was wiped out, this last one I’ve still been tired and not 100%. I certainly wouldn’t have been able to do a full day of school with it. Luckily I work for myself so can send my own schedule. My DP is frequently exposed to coughing sneezing ill people at work who think they’re being heroic by turning up, but all they’re doing is making sure everyone else gets ill too.

They don't even learn anything useful anyway.

As a general rule of thumb, the kids whose parents say stuff like this, don't. It often shines through where they get to later on in life.

@ArcheryAnnie “Your entertainment choices are napping, reading a book, or listening to Radio 4” - haha, my poor folks must have been a bit stuffed because that was (still is) my idea of heaven! Luckily for them I was always hot as the sun with any bug so pretty easy to tell when I wasn’t trying it on (my Dad did once send me to school when my Mum was away and had to come get me after I fainted on the bus - the school nurse apparently gave him a proper Paddington stare! 😂).

@slothkin my kid likes all three of those things (but mainly napping and Radio 4) when he's not feeling well! And two out of the three (napping and books) when he's feeling fine. But it does mean that he gets rest, and he knows that he's not going to have six unfettered hours of Discord/The Witcher/Instagram memes if he stays off school.

@ArcheryAnnie oh I do hope I didn’t sound critical - it’s a lovely way to look after little ones (and big ones haha!), I was only laughing at myself for being a child with weirdly old-person interests! My lovely husband still tucks me up with lucozade and R4 when I’m really poorly ❤️

OP I think you've done the right thing getting his work from school.
I hardly ever went to school in my gcse years because I hated it so much, I'd bunk off though as well as feign sickness. I came out with good grades somehow and I would never allow my dd to get away with what I did but now I never call in sick or take a day off unnecessarily at work. I just didn't really want to be at school. At work I realise if I don't like it I can move jobs whereas at school I couldn't.

Hopefully he'll learn how boring it is to stay at home. When I used to bunk my mum used to say how happy she was I was back I probably would have benefited from the school fines they have now for extreme absences...

Have you questioned why he might lie ie has he got homework or a project due in? Those were my classic pulling a fast one days...

Don't worry at all @Slothkin, I got it! (And I like all of those three things too, now, though I am an old person so it doesn't count - and I've gone off Radio 4 a bit, which I didn't think was possible.)

I did think of something else pertinent to this thread: my DS's (state) school has a bursary system, so that if you want any help towards eg, the very expensive school trips, you have to have a near-perfect attendance record. It is neither fair nor sensible, of course - it punishes children for being ill, and ridiculously insists they are in school when they are in no fit state to learn, and will infect other kids with whatever bug they have - but it does mean it matters how much time they have off.