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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ambushed by charity workers

184 replies

Berrylove · 03/12/2019 16:29

What’s a polite way that actually works to get the charity collectors on the streets to leave me alone?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve given plenty to charity in my life, given food to homeless on my way hone from work etc. But now I’m a young mum struggling to make ends meet, my ability to ‘give’ has obviously changed. Not to mention on the rare occasion I do donate, whether it be to a charity or a busker, it’s a guarantee I’ll be asked for yet another donation only a minute walks away.
Yesterday in my city centre I was walking with my parter and dd, when a mental health awareness person came to ask for a donation, my partner gave to them, which is fine, but then only about 100ft away we were asked again by the same charity, and then again on the next corner! We told both we’d already given to the first guy but the last guy didn’t seem happy still.

I love the idea of charity but AIBU to be sick of being asked and people getting in my path stopping me in the street to ask? I’ve done the old sorry I don’t have any change as it’s just quick and easier than explaining I can’t afford to keep giving my money away to be then told they take card. (Said card guy also said minimum donation was £2.50, shouldn’t I get to choose the donation? He made me feel bad for not wanting to pay that much, I even said that it was a bit expensive for me).
If I gave to everyone that asked I’d need charity myself.

What do you guys do in these situations?

OP posts:
Pukkatea · 03/12/2019 16:31

Just walk past them. They can't stop you can they?

QuestionableMushroom · 03/12/2019 16:32

I usually just say ‘no thank you’ and keep walking. No explanation as to why I’m choosing not to donate.

I had one tell me to smile on Monday, he got told to fuck off as id just been for further bloods to confirm my miscarriage, which whilst it was very rude of me I feel no shame.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/12/2019 16:32

Stern and steely glare if they start approaching. I used to get stopped and dragged into long conversations ‘I can just take your bank details now.....’ as I used to be too polite.

If I’m lucky I get stopped by a charity with woeful woman’s rights record so I can engage them...

Speckledhen10 · 03/12/2019 16:40

Totally blank them. Look right through them. If you want to donate do so by BACS directly to a charity of your choice.

Janaih · 03/12/2019 16:43

I just say no thank you politely. If they get pushy I ask what percentage of donations they get. Shuts them right up.

StrayWoman · 03/12/2019 16:46

I don't even acknowledge them, I just walk on.

I donate to several charities, but of my own accord, not become some twat is calling me darling and hassling me.

tttigress · 03/12/2019 16:47

I think the mistake you are making is getting into a debate about donating.

What you need to do is a firm no thank you, and then walk past.

They can't exactly pull you back.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 03/12/2019 16:49

Avoid making eye contact, say a firm "no thanks" and walk on. Don't engage.

NerrSnerr · 03/12/2019 16:49

Don't engage at all. If you want to say something just say 'no thank you' and keep on walking. Do not stop.

TheGirlWithTheFeatherTat · 03/12/2019 16:50

I've had someone step infront of me when I was leaving a building, I always say no thanks I already donate it local charities, but this man blatatbky stopped me in my path and started grilling me. I hate
them

Lulualla · 03/12/2019 16:55

Ignore and keep walking. If charity muggers where a very rare thing then that might be rude, but there are so many now and they are everywhere. You really can't be polite and chatty to them all whilst you refuse. Just ignore and keep walking. It really doesn't matter.

tttigress · 03/12/2019 16:58

Shopping centres and high streets are having a lot of problems at the moment.

You would think they would want to make things easier for their customers, by stopping these chuggers operating in the area.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 03/12/2019 16:59

Earphones in the ear or headphones . Even if not actually listening to anything though them as they don't know that and tend to leave you alone .
I listen to music when walking along the high street though so I can say, in my case, this works .

Grumpelstilskin · 03/12/2019 17:00

I am involved in some direct community action and also sponsor a couple of charities, so haven’t got any time for anyone collecting on the street. I tend to channel my inner Marie-Antoinette and tell charity chuggers that I rather buy the Vogue and spend my spare cash at Harrod’s the Food Hall. Zero shame felt. The vast majority of these guys pouncing on you on the streets to set up direct debits are paid. It’s a sales gig, hence the pushiness.

snowball28 · 03/12/2019 17:02

Im so sorry to hear that @QuestionableMushroom Flowers

Redshoeblueshoe · 03/12/2019 17:04

The answer is in your question.
What is the polite way ?
Why be polite ? They Target women, especially if you are on your own, they dance around you and get in your way, and try to embarrass you to give them money.
It's harassment.
You don't need to be polite.
And I agree with Fekko - some of them need challenging on the behaviour of their staff and their policies

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 03/12/2019 17:04

i just say No Thanks and walk on.

Where i live they seem to pick up on an element of your appearance to get you chatting. "i love your hair", "your coat's a great colour" etc. Pisses me right off.

Best one was the bloke who shrieked 'Hey Blondie" at me. Guess he was off sick that training day.

paddingtonbearsmarmalade · 03/12/2019 17:07

I can’t bear charity muggers, who I choose to donate to is no ones business but my own.

I have never forgiven the twat who attempted to stop me when I was legging it up to the station for my train, to whom I politely said “sorry I’ve got to get my train” as I went past. He had tried to stop me a few days before as well. He shouted “there’s no need to lie!” after me, which completely enraged me and means I will never donate to the charity he was mugging for.

EdersonsSmileyTattoo · 03/12/2019 17:08

I just say “I’m not in a position to donate just now” and carry on walking.

LemonScentedStickyBat · 03/12/2019 17:08

I feel no need to respond to them at all.

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 03/12/2019 17:09

"tell you what, you give me your bank details out here in a very pubic place, and then I'll give you mine" tends to shut them up Wink.

I once asked a particularly hassly bloke if he'd like to donate to the womens health charity I'm involved with, and started talking about the TMI aspects of it - he walked away from me Grin

draughtycatflap · 03/12/2019 17:10

Just airily shout “No time! Need a massive poo!” and keep walking.

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 03/12/2019 17:10

public, not pubic Blush

GlitterToast · 03/12/2019 17:10

I don't donate to any charity that tests on animals, which is about half of them. They generally dont have a good answer to that.

Sparklesocks · 03/12/2019 17:10

Say no thank you politely and keep walking.
There are rules they are meant to follow and they can’t keep at you or obstruct your path - you can find them here if interested www.fundraisingregulator.org.uk/code/specific-fundraising-methods/collecting-money-or-other-property

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