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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ambushed by charity workers

184 replies

Berrylove · 03/12/2019 16:29

What’s a polite way that actually works to get the charity collectors on the streets to leave me alone?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve given plenty to charity in my life, given food to homeless on my way hone from work etc. But now I’m a young mum struggling to make ends meet, my ability to ‘give’ has obviously changed. Not to mention on the rare occasion I do donate, whether it be to a charity or a busker, it’s a guarantee I’ll be asked for yet another donation only a minute walks away.
Yesterday in my city centre I was walking with my parter and dd, when a mental health awareness person came to ask for a donation, my partner gave to them, which is fine, but then only about 100ft away we were asked again by the same charity, and then again on the next corner! We told both we’d already given to the first guy but the last guy didn’t seem happy still.

I love the idea of charity but AIBU to be sick of being asked and people getting in my path stopping me in the street to ask? I’ve done the old sorry I don’t have any change as it’s just quick and easier than explaining I can’t afford to keep giving my money away to be then told they take card. (Said card guy also said minimum donation was £2.50, shouldn’t I get to choose the donation? He made me feel bad for not wanting to pay that much, I even said that it was a bit expensive for me).
If I gave to everyone that asked I’d need charity myself.

What do you guys do in these situations?

OP posts:
SerenDippitty · 04/12/2019 08:27

Actually last time they were at my Co op I ignored their hello on the way in, and on the way out marched straight past them and pointedly bought a Big Issue from the seller who was standing outside.

Gertrudesgarden · 04/12/2019 08:38

Amnesty International chuggers once told me I was heartless when I refused to stop to talk to them and sign up. I'd just left the town hall where I'd officially registered my Dad's death.....I ended up with a crowd of supporters and sympathisers as I explained just how little I cared, right at that particular moment, about anyone's misery but my own, in loud sobs. I shocked the living daylights out of the guy and his group of chuggers and they were close to being lynched by the folk around. It was awful. All he had to do was accept my shake of the head.

ZenNudist · 04/12/2019 08:42

Id set up direct debit with gift aid to charity of your choice for an amount you can afford. Then sail past the chuggers with a "no thanks".

For me its homelessness and international Aid. Plus my local church. I support ad hoc local charity drives at school, work and in the community.

I do my research to check im giving to a good charity that doesn't have a high proportion of costs for running it.

Id never give to chuggers because they get a share of the donation. If you're going to donate to that cause do it there and then on your phone.

I also dont give directly to poor people on the street and it makes me feel awful. I think homeless charity going to make better use of the money.

Also I rarely give to people raising sponsorship money. Theresso many requests its easy to ignore. I think its better to direct money to charity of your choice.

You sound like a naturally charitable person who cares. Spend what you have to give wisely. Being a young mum shouldn't mean you have to give up donating.

FindaPenny · 04/12/2019 09:27

I usually ignore them but if it's to awkward to get past them without saying anything, I usually say sorry I don't have a bank account.

MinesaPinot · 04/12/2019 09:32

I go past St Paul's every day to and from work, and there are always chuggers there in the evening. I stalk past saying 'no thank you' when they start on their 'hi you look like a nice person' or some other spiel.

I did get harassed all the way from my office to the corner of Cheapside one night by a chugger from an animal charity. He was getting increasingly nasty and aggressive and spat out 'it's bitches like you who have fucked up this planet'. He did nearly get shoved under the bus that was turning the corner, but I just calmly told him that he was mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck and stalked off. When I rang the charity the following day to complain, they told me that their 'representatives' would never behave in that way and basically accused me of lying. My response was unrepeatable, even for MN....

KarmaStar · 04/12/2019 11:03

Say either,I do a monthly donation and walk on,or say I have just donated to your colleague and walk on.

underneaththeash · 04/12/2019 11:06

I find "I'm not based in the UK anymore" is usually sufficient.

Direct debits need a UK bank account...

PrincessHoneysuckle · 04/12/2019 11:11

I'm really blunt I just say if it's anything to do with a direct debit I'm not interested.
That shuts them up

Bluebutterfly90 · 04/12/2019 11:15

I usually just say sorry and walk off.
I already give to two charities a month and we can't afford to do more with our first baby due at Christmas.
It does make me feel bad because you're put on the spot and it can make you look uncharitable, but many of us aren't in a position where we can afford to donate.

BlaueLagune · 04/12/2019 11:19

It does make me feel bad because you're put on the spot and it can make you look uncharitable, but many of us aren't in a position where we can afford to donate

Nobody can possibly afford to donate to every single charity, so there's no need to feel bad.

There are also too many doing the same thing, I'd like to see a lot of rationalisation.

And less pointless marketing. CRUK for example wastes so much money. I'm not donating £10 to pay for 0.00001% of a TV ad.

Millie2013 · 04/12/2019 11:24

For the sake of vulnerable people (and those who just don’t want to be bothered) I wish there were lanyards that people could wear when out shopping (a bit like the sunflower ones) to denote that they don’t want to be bothered

There’s a stretch of a town centre down here populated by them. I’m always in the middle of a very important phone call when walking down that street, as can’t be arsed to fend them off

Like a PP, I won’t donate to a particular charity now, chose chugger goaded me for saying “no thanks”

Devereux1 · 04/12/2019 11:30

It does make me feel bad because you're put on the spot and it can make you look uncharitable

If you keep in mind £14bn we send to charities overseas, that helps stop one feeling bad I find.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer · 04/12/2019 11:41

I always ask how much they get paid for collecting and how much they give.
It seems to make them all start mumbling at the ground for some reason.
I really despise them. Especially the door knockers.

InfiniteSheldon · 04/12/2019 11:49

I love the 'Madam......' I say very loudly Did you just assume my gender?

DappledThings · 04/12/2019 11:54

Oh and I reserve a special loathing for the people who stand in my local high street and say "I'm not selling anything... who supplies your energy?
My town has these guys all the time. Last time they approached me and said that I replied, "Yeah right mate, of course you're not" and carried on without breaking my step.

They are also the worst for being so patronising if I have the buggy with me. "Hey there mum, you look like you've got your hands full". Just fuck right off with that shit.

wasthatamistake · 04/12/2019 12:10

I had one come to my door from a charity that supports children with an illness my ds has. I explained to him that I already donate and due to medical costs I couldn't do anymore at the moment. He continued to try and push me into a direct debit. I slammed the door in his face and let the charity know.

If he actually knew anything about the illness or the actual costs involved he wouldn't even be fucking asking me. Or he did know but he's on commission so didn't give a shit.

PumpkinP · 04/12/2019 12:10

Best one was the bloke who shrieked 'Hey Blondie" at me.

I get “hi mummy” or “super mum” shouted at me, it’s very embarrassing

HeyMissyYouSoFine · 04/12/2019 12:18

I don't think it matters so much what you say so long as you keep moving and avoid prolonged eye contact.

I think that's always worked for me - anyway very little of the money given actually ends up with the charity with most of these as they are paid workers.

I've did find it harder to deal with the one who come to the door but I saw DH deal with a few and realised I'd just been too polite – less you engage less arguing and persuasion/guilting they can do – so a No and shutting the door and not responding again works.

TriangularRatbag · 04/12/2019 12:41

Like a PP, I won’t donate to a particular charity now, chose chugger goaded me for saying “no thanks”

I cancelled my membership of Amnesty for the same reason. If we all followed this policy this would drive the fuckers off the streets!

SaveKevin · 04/12/2019 12:43

I hate the direct debit paid chuggers. I can’t afford to sign up and give you “only three coffees a month”. I can’t afford the three coffees let alone give it away.
If I had some change, and you had a bucket, you can have it. But not a monthly commitment.

Devereux1 · 04/12/2019 12:48

Always remember, the larger, highly organised charity sector is an enormously privileged and profitable one. Layers upon layers of people working for them, from the street up to CEO level, creaming off huge margins and pocketing them very nicely. They duplicate each other terribly too, so even though some money might end up on the front line, all you're feeding is one group's ego in research compared to another. If they pooled together or at least co operated, they'd make breakthroughs quicker.

I give to local animal charities and individual charities whose campaigns and activities I read very carefully before I give any money to.

Alicesweewonders · 04/12/2019 13:17

Pretend you're on your phone.

MiniMum97 · 04/12/2019 13:42

I take a number if Sporades depending on my mood.

No thank you

A steely stare as they approach .

A sharp "no" and a hand up.

The last one definitely stops them in their tracks.

These are reserved for the annoying charity collectors who wear the vests and attack you in the street by the way. Not the little old ladies who shake a box outside the supermarket! They either get money or a polite smile and a no thank you.

The vest wearing charity collectors are so annoying. They used to wait in a alley near where I work so you couldn't get past them easily. They used to literally stand in your path. And I had to pass them sometimes 4 times a day! Usually in a rush. They usually got the last one. Sadly the turnover of staff is so high they never git to know you to know you aren't worth bothering!

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 04/12/2019 15:49

I was walking down the street a couple of years ago with my mother in law who had been going through chemo - and was obviously going through chemo ie no hair and got stopped by a twat from CRUK who, after we said no, not interested, informed me that I obviously didn't care about people dying of cancer.

Told him to fuck right off and complained to the head office who totally ignored me.

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