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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ambushed by charity workers

184 replies

Berrylove · 03/12/2019 16:29

What’s a polite way that actually works to get the charity collectors on the streets to leave me alone?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve given plenty to charity in my life, given food to homeless on my way hone from work etc. But now I’m a young mum struggling to make ends meet, my ability to ‘give’ has obviously changed. Not to mention on the rare occasion I do donate, whether it be to a charity or a busker, it’s a guarantee I’ll be asked for yet another donation only a minute walks away.
Yesterday in my city centre I was walking with my parter and dd, when a mental health awareness person came to ask for a donation, my partner gave to them, which is fine, but then only about 100ft away we were asked again by the same charity, and then again on the next corner! We told both we’d already given to the first guy but the last guy didn’t seem happy still.

I love the idea of charity but AIBU to be sick of being asked and people getting in my path stopping me in the street to ask? I’ve done the old sorry I don’t have any change as it’s just quick and easier than explaining I can’t afford to keep giving my money away to be then told they take card. (Said card guy also said minimum donation was £2.50, shouldn’t I get to choose the donation? He made me feel bad for not wanting to pay that much, I even said that it was a bit expensive for me).
If I gave to everyone that asked I’d need charity myself.

What do you guys do in these situations?

OP posts:
jimmyhill · 03/12/2019 17:43

Smile broadly at them - they think you're going to engage so they don't do their hard sell. Then say "thanks" as you sweep past them. The smile and thanks are disarming, they don't know what to say

Shoobydoo123 · 03/12/2019 17:45

I once offered to give a cash donation, but they weren’t interested as they wanted me to sign up for a direct debit. When I said I wouldn’t do the guy swore at me loudly as I walked down the street. This was a national charity so put me off for life. Even though I know they are often temporary staff on commission it was totally uncalled for.

ViaSacra · 03/12/2019 17:48

If you're sufficiently young-looking, just say, 'Sorry, I'm a student' as you walk past.

My ds goes to university in central London, and walks past loads of chuggers every day - but they never try to talk to him as he's wearing his student ID on a very visible university lanyard...

MayFayner · 03/12/2019 17:48

Like pp, I do give to coin bucket collectors, if I have change.

But those chuggers Angry I’ll usually loudly say “NO - thank you!” - for some reason they usually reel back in surprise. I think my walking-along demeanour doesn’t match my sudden shouty assertiveness so it can be quite amusing to see their shocked faces.

Asking how much commission they’re on is my plan B for any really cheeky ones but I haven’t needed it yet.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 03/12/2019 17:48

Hate chuggers with a passion. I tell them “not today” and continue on my way. It puts me off donating to the charity at any time.

TeaForTara · 03/12/2019 17:49

"Proper" charity collectors rattling tins (well I'm not sure if they're allowed to do that any more) is a different kettle of fish, I'll normally donate if I'm confident it's for real not just someone on the make. Never seem to see them these days though, only chuggers.

Another thing that annoys me is Just Giving. Friends / colleagues try to get me to sponsor someone I've never met to do something that sounds more like fun than involving any kind of hardship. Or someone who was too mean or arrogant to pay a small sum for travel insurance and now expects people to stump up thousands to repatriate them due to their self-inflicted injuries.

Maybe I'm just mean (but I do give directly to several charities and good causes.)

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 03/12/2019 17:50

The guy in your op was spectacularly rude. As if anyone would give a bank payment in the street to some random. And minimum 2.50? Jog on.
My ld son got caught, it was only when we were trying to sort his bank out we discovered it. They got an absolute bollocking for it. The irony being it was for Mind.

viccat · 03/12/2019 17:50

Just walk past and either shake my head or say no if they try to engage me in conversation.

The ones who try to get you sign up for a direct debit are not employed by the charities themselves anyway, they work for agencies and often don't have any personal interest or link to the charity they fundraise for, so there's not much point in getting into a discussion.

Comps83 · 03/12/2019 17:52

I live in a tiny city and on the Main Street there were 5 charity collectors for the same charity strategically placed to catch people. But the 2nd, 3rd ... ones aren’t going to know you’ve already said no to the first one and it wasn’t a case of putting pennies in a bucket they were there to sign you up to direct debit so you had to say no 5 times to get to the end of the street.

PleaseNoFortnite · 03/12/2019 17:52

We had them a lot between where I used to work and the tube station. I ended up not making eye contact, but if I did it was with a rueful shrug and shake of the head and if pressed I'd just say 'no money' and refuse to engage.

Some of their tactics were vile though - one shouted down the street that I should feel ashamed of myself for not stopping to give money.

At the time I had a direct debit for £10 a month going out to that charity so I went home and stopped it, and emailed the charity explaining that if that was their tactic my money was going elsewhere.

Prevegen4U · 03/12/2019 17:52

I was in the UK a few years ago and was astonished at the times I was waylaid by people in the town center doing surveys and the such. It's harassment.

eurochick · 03/12/2019 17:53

No eye contact. Look straight ahead and walk purposefully past them.

Sunshineboo · 03/12/2019 17:59

Remember they are paid commission. So they are not doing this out of passion for a cause - u like the people who collect in buckets voluntarily.

I find physically and obviously altering my route, turning head away and being very obvious in ignoring them works 9/10 times. The other 1 I either do the "I already have a direct debit for them and no I don't want to give more" or, if they to pushy "no thank you."

Candlebarbara · 03/12/2019 18:00

I say no thank you politely once. If they engage with me any further after that I tell them to fuck off. No qualms about it at all.

Doggybiccys · 03/12/2019 18:01

I used to be a Marie curie nurse before they went all corporate charity. Pissed me off big time - CEO getting 6 figure sum whilst asking nurses to work for nothing as it as “a privilege to look after the dying” and they shouldn’t want paying.

Also - the people doing the collecting get paid - they are not volunteers. Now when they ask me “do you want to help children with cancer?” I meet their gaze and say “ no thank you”. Now clearly I wound not wish cancer on anyone but I hate the ruthlessness of big charities nowadays. I prefer to Give to local charities

sockittome123 · 03/12/2019 18:02

I was in Montenegro earlier this year with my parents and we got followed halfway down a street (walking AWAY from the dock) by some guy trying to sell his boat tours. Bear in mind there were a group of at least ten of them trying to do the same thing from where we had just come from. I said "no" a good three times before shouting "What part of NO don't you understand?"

Different guy tried to mob us on the way back!

TheRightHonerable · 03/12/2019 18:02

Don’t feel bad. I realised whilst at uni that the people wandering the high street are rarely volunteers - they’re usually working on commission for how many people they can sign up/items they can sell. Lots of my uni friends did it at points.

There’s nothing wrong with ignoring them. I know it’s not polite but they’re everywhere and there’s nothing you can say that will satisfy them!

MistyCloud · 03/12/2019 18:03

'Scuse me MADAM, do you like animals?' That winds me up!

What kind of twat-wad doesn't like animals FGS?

Stupid fucking questions.

My friends DH said 'yeah I like 'em fried, with chips,' as he was so annoyed by being bugged by them every time he went to lunch. The man glared and said 'ha ha very funny!' Hmm

They get around £60 for every person they sign up. If they cared so much for the charity they are chugging for, they would do it for free.

They're trippin' if they think I will give my bank details to them. Someone I know did that with one of them (a £3 a month one,) and before she knew it, several extra direct debits were set up for other things. £27 a month in total.

She stopped them through internet banking, including the £3 a month one Then she told her bank to not allow anything from them through again.

MrsIronfoundersson · 03/12/2019 18:04

There was a thread on here recently about this and one if the solutions given for the 'Do you want to support donkeys / children / homeless people ' (insert charity here) was "no, but do you have anything on otters? I'm very keen on them!" And then make your escape while chugger is very very confused.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 03/12/2019 18:07

I was with a colleague when we were jumped on and asked ‘do you like animals?’ My colleague looked deadpan and didn’t skip a beat ‘ No - no I don’t like animals...’ (you had to be there I guess).

dottiedodah · 03/12/2019 18:07

We also have them coming to the door here! Got caught off guard and signed up .The streets are full of them as well ,yesterday Christmas Shopping ,and a girl came over to me .I said no thank you then she caught me again walking the other way! I do give to my pet charities as well but cant afford everyone .Who can?

BrightYellowDaffodil · 03/12/2019 18:12

You need to stop being polite.

A brisk “Not interested, thank you” should suffice. If they keep on at me after that they’ll get told to fuck off.

Bobbindale · 03/12/2019 18:12

I've pretended not to speak English before.. also once started a fake but loud argument with OH to frighten one off coming near!

katy1213 · 03/12/2019 18:12

Tell them you don't donate to any charity that's paying their wages out of donations. Or better still, don't engage at all. I don't have any problem with them but I think I exude an aura of not being a people-pleaser!

MeTheCoolOne · 03/12/2019 18:13

Just ignore or say no thanks. I can't stand chuggers. If they are pushy I'll give them a polite lecture.

I used to always donate to people collecting for charities in the street because it used to only be volunteers. Now it's a 'business' and I don't want any of my money going towards running the business when I can donate to local small volunteer run charities where my money goes directly to the cause.