How bad is This number of days off?

[attendance121]

9 days since September 1, what percentage does that work out as?

Yes 9 days is a lot. Especially if it is sporadic days at different times. You say your husband does his share. How many says has he taken off of work for the kids since September?

I think the choices are

Taking it as unpaid leave (my workplace offers 5 days carers leave paid in a rolling 12 month period.. any further days you take unpaid). I'm assuming you've already used your allowance.

Or take it as sick. Which yes you will get paid for. But certain work places use the Bradford Factor (which adds up to a crazy points system). Others use days and instances in a rolling period. And therefore risk a disciplinary procedure (attendance plan etc). Or disciplinary for abusing the sickness procedure should they find out.

If I tell the truth I lose pay. If I lose pay we can’t pay essential bills. I genuinely feel a bit stuck. I don’t have a sympathetic employer.

Might be worth looking for something else in the medium term as well, with a bit more flexibility.

Be thankful you don't work for Royal Mail. DH could be off for two weeks with the flu and that would be classed as one absence. However, if he was off for two days, went back to work then took another day because he wasn't quite 100%, that's two instances of absence and would trigger a meeting

^^ same in the nhs. It's about each individual time you're off sick. So if I take two days sick for a cold then a month later I have one day off sick because of a migraine that's actually worse than having one solid episode of six weeks off for a broken leg. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I meant to add because I would have had two episodes of sickness but the person with the broken leg would have only had one episode.

What is this carers leave that people are talking about there is no such thing ?
She can have unpaid dependents leave which she doesn't want to take and would rather lie to her employer

Yes nine days in September is a lot how are you going to get through the rest of winter without you our children being ill And requiring even more time off

It depends on your contract and staff handbook. At my work (NHS) any more that 2 discrete episodes of sickness in 6 months triggers a review but it's really to find out if anything is going on for which you need help at that stage.
Leave for child sickness is unpaid but treated separately.
So at my work there would be quite an in depth interview for this but no action taken probably.
My worry is that if you lie (in itself a disciplinary matter at my work) and then are ill yourself again it may make things worse.

CatteStreet its the same here, not sure what you think is any different?

Google bradford factor scores and it gives you a good idea on what is often flagged as outside normal range,

I'd be looking at the sack for that amount of absences in work.

OP it's worth finding out what sickness procedure your work use.

For example where we are, one long period of absence (eg. for a broken leg or mental health problems) wouldn't trigger anything as you'd be signed off by a GP for a set period of time. However three ad-hoc days of sickness (especially if they start to form a pattern - eg. always on the same day each time) would trigger an absence review.

Some places are much stricter than others, too, and a long-standing employee with a run of a bad luck would be treated very differently to someone who's been off regularly from day one.

It’s a shitty situation OP but I couldn’t personally lie like that to my employers. It’s wrong and I’d be nervous of what would happen. I’d take unpaid leave and look at ways to make some extra money 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not a great option but I can’t see what else you can do.

Women have far higher rates of sickness than men and whilst you can find sound reasons for this it doesn’t do much to encourage employers to employ women. 😕

Which crime you would be guilty of if you choose to lie OP would depend a little on whether you were subject to summary conviction or conviction on indictment.

Up until 2006 this act would have been covered by the Theft Act 1978: "Obtaining pecuniary advantage by deception" - A person who by any deception dishonestly obtains for himself or another any pecuniary advantage shall on conviction on indictment be liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years.

But in 2006 this was replaced by the Fraud act - fraud by false representation, fraud by failing to disclose information, and fraud by abuse of position. It provides that a person found guilty of fraud is liable to a fine or imprisonment for up to twelve months on summary conviction (six months in Northern Ireland), or a fine or imprisonment for up to ten years on conviction on indictment. This Act largely replaces the laws relating to obtaining property by deception, obtaining a pecuniary advantage and other offences that were created under the Theft Act 1978.

Well maybe your employers wouldn't press charges. You would still be guilty of the offense even if never convicted.

I am sorry to be harsh but your willingness to steal unearned wages from your employer by deception is a direct contributing factor to why some employers are unwilling to give jobs and promotions to women of childbearing age. Making a lot of other families poorer. A good person would not do this.

**What is this carers leave that people are talking about there is no such thing?

She can have unpaid dependents leave which she doesn't want to take and would rather lie to her employer**

^OP has been dishonest as she wants to have paid leave.

If you are sick you are sick end of. I have had chest infection after chest infection then tummy bug and I took time off because we have a sickness policy that says we can take time off when sick. I would love to hear my work say they are going to discipline me for something I can it control. OP I am not a fan of lying either, call in tomorrow and say that your son has woken up unwell which entitles you to paid carers leave but for that day only.

I work in a school take so no. I will have to say I am sick because I cant afford unpaid.

so you just lie? that is gross misconduct and you could lose your job over it.

I don't think it is acceptable at all, sorry.

feisty, OP was not sick but through s sickie to look after sick child (on full pay I guess) rather than taking unpaid leave to look after dependants.

OP I am not a fan of lying either, call in tomorrow and say that your son has woken up unwell which entitles you to paid carers leave but for that day only

Carers leave is unpaid in most places.

which entitles you to paid carers leave but for that day only

carers leave is unpaid!!!

Yikes. If you get caught - it’ll be much worse. You could lose your job potentially? I think that’s alot of days off, any family that can help? Siblings? Pay for a nanny?

I work in a school (local authority). If your child is ill you can have 1 day paid. The reasoning is that one day should be enough to arrange alternative care for the rest of the event/illness. However, that is each time. I have been told that it's been known for parents who both work for the authority have taken turns in being off with the child & therefore neither is taking consecutive days, so each take several days but get paid. I believe the one day rule is normal across local councils. It would obviously depend on your actual authority. Some employers give compassionate leave for a child/relative in hospital which should be paid.

It makes me laugh when people talk about flexible working, compassionate time, understanding of parents needs etc...

Yet, come here to moan when their appointment at the hospital or with the practice nurse has to be rescheduled, people who might very well have poorly children too.

Carers leave can be taken when an employee needs to care their unwell child, or partner., in Australia A medical certificate is required and employee may use their sick leave to take the carers leave.

I work in a much nicer school than so many people on here. Your child is sick, you look after them. That said, if it was 4 days we might be gently asked if we could share that with a partner.

Lots of teachers do not live local to family, but many would sort out sharing child's illness with DH or other partner, as teachers generally feel very guilty about being off.

I am hoping our humane policy won't change any time soon!

It would be disciplinary in my company especially if you have just started . If you have been with the same school for a number of years and have had an otherwise good attendance record though, they might let it go. If you're only just in the door, you could be in real bother