How bad is This number of days off?

[attendance121]

9 days since September 1, what percentage does that work out as?

Can you take force majeure leave?

This is very stressful altogether. You will have to get a better system in place because now can't get sick again yourself!

Be honest is all I will say. Best of luck and I hope your child gets well soon.

I don't know your circumstances but you need to find a plan b. Currently your absence level is incredibly high and will be having an impact on your colleagues and students.

I know its hard, I know there aren't many options, I know you need the money. But if you have this pattern over the rest of the year you'll have clocked up 4 weeks off. Over 39 weeks that's awful and I'd expect disciplinary proceedings.

Find a plan B. Friends, child minders, sympathetic neighbours... Quite frankly anything will do!

Why could a child not go to school /nursery with a head bump?

So if your DH has only done 4 days, it's his turn? It's too risky for you to take another hit, makes sense that his number of days is added to rather than yours.

They can't go to school with a head bump because you need to monitor them for concussion and that isn't school or nursery's responsibility.

How unwell is your DC? Unless it's a temperature or sickness bug, where obviously the 48 hour rule applies, then my child would be going to childcare.

I'm lucky that I can work from home when my children are ill (had a whole week at home last week because of three lots of sickness at different points of the week), and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't work from home, so I sympathise, I really do...but you and your DH need to sit down with your PIL and make a plan for if they're ill in the future. What you're doing now isn't feasible, seeing as your children are getting ill a lot. Perhaps you need to rethink what "ill" is, if they're off for a cold, but if that's not the case, you need to plan for childcare. It sucks...but most parents are in the same boat as you.

For now, please don't lie and say you're ill when it's your child. It's fraud, and could leave you with no job.

You really shouldn't lie. It will come back and bite you on the bum.

To those suggesting a plan B - if OP can't afford to miss 3 days' pay she probably can't afford an emergency nanny. Childminders won't take a poorly child, they'll have other kids to look after.

OP, do you have any friends or relatives? Could they help you? Can you borrow money if you can't afford the time off, and do a bit of extra part time work maybe to pay it back?

I'm sorry you're in this situation, and that you're getting such a kicking on here. I wouldn't lie about being sick though, as most places would begin disciplinary action for that level of sickness.

I wouldn't have taken time off for a bump in the head. I would have taken to nursery and asked them to monitor.

Have you just started to work in September? Because thats worse than if your a long standing employee and you have a good record previously.

That's a Bradford Factor of at least 81 (more if the days were split over more than 3 occasions).

Anywhere that used the BF is likely to see that as a level that requires intervention, such as a considered verbal warning.

attendance 2 things

Contact your union for advice

Spread childcare more with your DH!

As a teacher myself that does sound like a lot.
I've got in before unwell because it is expected.
Certainly wouldn't be taking 2 days off for a child's bump on the head!
HOWEVER working in a school you are particularly exposed to getting all the illnesses from the children, so sometimes you can go through a particularly bad spell of being off.
To be honest unless I was being violently sick, I would still be in work

it's a lot.

2 days off for a head bump is ridiculous unless it was a full on knockout and cut head scenario.

Sometimes you have to dose them up and send them to childcare OP.

four working days seems a lot for a child. What was wrong with your dc??

They can't go to school with a head bump because you need to monitor them for concussion

not for four days you dont

These always make me giggle.
There are genuinely people who have no one else to have their child.
I don't - I work, XH works and DP works.
No Grandparents on any of those sides - apart from one who lives 201 miles away.
Childminder won't take sick child. One Aunt who works also and, has two children of her own.
What a lovely world we'd live in if we all palmed off sick children to everyone else.

Don't worry. You're sick, your child is sick.
You get better and you get back to work.

There are genuinely people who have no one else to have their child

I presume you share leave with your DP though?

If you have no one to have your child then you have to take the hit. That isn't your employers problem.

Sick days are a tricky one at my DH's place of work. He got a discipline after having 5 days off in 12 months! 2 of those 5 days he was in hospital! BUT they don't judge for how many days of you have, it is periods of sick. Anything more than 2 periods of sick will trigger a discipline. He had 2 days (in hospital) then another 2 and then 1 day - so 3 periods of sick.

I left a former employer because they made it clear that I shouldn't be a working mother if I am unable to source care for my child when he is sick (I had 1 day off work because he had an anaphylatic reaction). Thankfully I'm in a industry where I can just walk into other jobs.

It is so tricky to navigate sick days, if you are genuinely sick what are you to do? DH was disciplined for going to work when he had a stomach bug but he felt like he had no choice because he would have been disciplined if he hadnt turned up! As for child care, there is no one we can rely on to take care of DS if he is ill. Thankfully I can work from home.

I guess I want to say I do sympathise with you OP but I dont know what the solution is. And if DH can be disciplined for having only 5 days off sick in 12 months then I'm sure you can for having 9 days off in 3 months

So, so far we have the helpful suggestions of

1. Time travel (and therefore reducing time off by not keeping your DC for a head injury/hospital stay - as clearly MNs know better than the medical advice OP received from people who had seen her child!)

1. The mysterious Plan B although OP has said she has no family or friends available. There is no other specific Plan B suggestions apart from...

1. The MN Approved Friendly Neighbour. I love this as I can imagine where these posters live. At my house, one would tell me to Fuck Off and I wouldn't even leave a gerbil with them, and the other I have met about twice in 10 years as they are, funnily enough, always at work. The drug dealer opposite is always in though.

(No. 3 is also suggested when someone has no money. As well as the Look Under The Sofa )

OP, I actually don't have any useful suggestions myself but only wanted to say I understand and it sucks - sometimes you just have a run of shit luck. This is why people (who need their jobs and the money, and want to work!) get sacked. (and then they post about UC or TC on MN and helpfully get their arse handed to them again!)

I left a former employer because they made it clear that I shouldn't be a working mother if I am unable to source care for my child when he is sick (I had 1 day off work because he had an anaphylatic reaction). Thankfully I'm in a industry where I can just walk into other jobs

You had a hissy fit because they moaned about it?! I presume they didn't actually discipline you over one day off?

Two days off for a bump head is not ridiculous. You don't know the circumstances. Are you medically trained? What if the child has suspected concussion? The child could have been in a RTA.

Sorry your Headteacher isn't sympathetic. Our staff never had any problems with our old Headteacher waiting to see with the new one. Personally I would tell the truth but I know colleagues that have said they are sick when it has been the child.

How “busy” are the PILS? Have you asked them or are you assuming they won’t help?

It’s tricky. You’ve had a lot of time off. Equally, I get frustrated when people say “you need a plan B”. Some people have no family or friends who can help. I’m lucky my mum and ILs are available and flexible, I do but many grandparents still work full time. All my friends work. An emergency nanny in my area is between £15 and £20 an hour! It’s a really difficult situation.

Yes @Trewser I did not want to work somewhere in which they made it clear they did not welcome mothers who worked. I had 1 day off, I used my annual leave and was still contactable via my phone for anything my colleagues would need advice or support. I was the only woman working in that team and the director had already told me they only hired me because they were told by his Director that they needed to hire a woman in that department. This Director had already said he would never have hired me if he realised I had a child. There was a string of other sexist comments and that was the final nail in the coffin. I just couldn't understand why any fellow human couldn't understand why a parent might have wanted to be with their son after they nearly watched him die and he was still in hospital.

I find it kind of shocking that parents in the UK don't get a certain number of paid days off each a year to look after sick kids. I'm sorry OP this sounds like a horrific situation. Take the sick days yourself, you don't have much of a choice.