DH and I have been together 16+years, married for 11 with three children and live in an older home which we always intended to do up when we had more money and time. While we wait for that or if we have visitors coming to stay, I paint rooms and try and declutter or add furniture etc to make our home comfortable/ less of an eyesore. DH is not especially practical or handy. Things are starting to fall apart somewhat (2 kitchen drawers broken, bathroom cupboard doors broken, curtain linings in rags etc) and I am patiently waiting for DH to finish some of these projects as he makes a start, buys special tools to support work but rarely completes jobs so we now have half fixed cupboard doors lying against walls, kitchen drawers on work surface in kitchen until I got fed up and moved them to bedroom to get them out of the way etc. Yesterday he said that he doesn't know what is a priority for me so he isn't clear on what to finish. (And is therefore just not finishing anything.) I am a bit startled as I was operating from point of view that we both own house, both can see jobs that need doing and surely we just crack on and do those jobs and if we're both doing that with that mindset, eventually lots of these loose ends will just be completed. I wasn't aware that he was looking to me to prioritise this for him. Am I going nuts? Or could I expect that as a grown man he could decide to complete the jobs that need doing? I genuinely don't want to be the one in charge of directing how our house maintenance plays out, I was after an equal partnership. I feel like I missed the memo that said I should be deciding about and directing this. (BTW, I would be more than happy to outsource whatever needs doing but DH buys tools, makes a start and then....)
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