To feel annoyed and upset me and the kids were sloppy seconds on birthday playdate

[Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed]

Just got a random message from a mum i know, saying its her sons birthday tomorrow and she with her baby boy are going to a venue. Would i like to come? I say yes and ask for more details. Turns out i was only invited as previous person and their 2 kids got chickenpox. Annoying thing is this soft toy had some special pre book tickets and i suggested meeting up before and she hasn't even tried to set anything up. Im quite hurt so should i accept.

Text back saying sorry somethings come up.

YABU for the phrase 'sloppy seconds'

Do you know what that even means?

Just say you're busy.

I'd wait til tomorrow, then cancel. 😉

Just accept, I am guessing you are toe dipping in parties and it is quite normal to have a '2nd' list.

You are reading too much into it.

But no I wouldn't go, that's pretty shitty and hurtful.

Sloppy seconds? Yuck.
Doesn't everyone do this? If someone can't make it you ask someone else. You are overthinking and taking offense at nothing.

I'd go, you might bond and be her first choice in future. No point cutting your nose off to spite your face.

You were second choice, but it doesn't matter. Have a great time and get to know the woman and her child. You might become good friends or you might realise you don't really get along but it's worth going. Second is quite high up on a list so don't hold too much of a grudge about it. (I didn't understand the soft toy bit so sorry if my reply doesn't make sense when that's taken into account)

This is how you make friends. It's a nice outing and if all goes well you might be her first choice next time.

Life's too short to take offence at not being someone's number 1 friend.

Im never going to be first choice, as im a recent friend. If we ever bump into each other in any other groups they mainly stick together. And i do try and talk but kinda get frozen out.

Not everyone can be invited to everything all the time.

This is a rather exclusive invite and someone else dropped out, you've been chosen as next on the list of people to invite.

Going is how you get to know this person better and choose if you want to explore the friendship. Turning it down draws a line under a potential friendship - or certainly makes it less likely.

No was only the other friend going. No more people invited

I'd go and honestly it's more about your child and if they would like to go. They don't care that they were on the b list & it really doesn't matter

You are being unreasonable for using sloppy seconds.

Do you only go to events where you are the persons closest friend?! I have many friends, by definition none of them will always be 'first choice'! If I got an invite in this situation I'd be pleased they had thought of me, not sniffy because I was 'second'. It ain't a competition.

Why does everyone hate that phrase? Its a perfectly normal turn of phrase in my parts???

I don't understand this at all. Why wouldn't you go? Is she not to allowed to invite other people? Should she go alone so it's not so much fun for her child? Yes your not "first choice" but also you're a grown up and should surely be one in this situation

You sound a bit precious tbh but if it bothers you that much then don’t go.

@Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed Sloppy seconds is a phrase used for... basically a woman who has sex twice in a row in a short space of time. The second man gets 'sloppy seconds' as the woman is already wet and, well, sloppy, from sex with the first man.

You know what sloppy seconds means?
It doesn’t mean second best

Yeah sloppy seconds is a grim as fuck phrase!

Here’s a clue: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloppy_seconds

Ew for sloppy seconds, that does not mean what you think it does.

You're being petty about the invite, if you want to be better friends with her you should take it.

😂😂😂😂😂