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To feel annoyed and upset me and the kids were sloppy seconds on birthday playdate

100 replies

Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed · 02/12/2019 20:39

Just got a random message from a mum i know, saying its her sons birthday tomorrow and she with her baby boy are going to a venue. Would i like to come? I say yes and ask for more details. Turns out i was only invited as previous person and their 2 kids got chickenpox. Annoying thing is this soft toy had some special pre book tickets and i suggested meeting up before and she hasn't even tried to set anything up. Im quite hurt so should i accept.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

359 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
FraglesRock · 02/12/2019 20:40

Text back saying sorry somethings come up.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 02/12/2019 20:41

YABU for the phrase 'sloppy seconds' Envy

Do you know what that even means?

inwood · 02/12/2019 20:41

Just say you're busy.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2019 20:42

I'd wait til tomorrow, then cancel. ๐Ÿ˜‰

CactusAndCacti · 02/12/2019 20:42

Just accept, I am guessing you are toe dipping in parties and it is quite normal to have a '2nd' list.

You are reading too much into it.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 02/12/2019 20:43

But no I wouldn't go, that's pretty shitty and hurtful.

MarleneandBoycie · 02/12/2019 20:43

Sloppy seconds? Yuck.
Doesn't everyone do this? If someone can't make it you ask someone else. You are overthinking and taking offense at nothing.

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 02/12/2019 20:43

I'd go, you might bond and be her first choice in future. No point cutting your nose off to spite your face.

Throwawayteachere · 02/12/2019 20:47

You were second choice, but it doesn't matter. Have a great time and get to know the woman and her child. You might become good friends or you might realise you don't really get along but it's worth going. Second is quite high up on a list so don't hold too much of a grudge about it. (I didn't understand the soft toy bit so sorry if my reply doesn't make sense when that's taken into account)

saraclara · 02/12/2019 20:47

This is how you make friends. It's a nice outing and if all goes well you might be her first choice next time.

Life's too short to take offence at not being someone's number 1 friend.

Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed · 02/12/2019 20:48

Im never going to be first choice, as im a recent friend. If we ever bump into each other in any other groups they mainly stick together. And i do try and talk but kinda get frozen out.

OP posts:
RippleEffects · 02/12/2019 20:48

Not everyone can be invited to everything all the time.

This is a rather exclusive invite and someone else dropped out, you've been chosen as next on the list of people to invite.

Going is how you get to know this person better and choose if you want to explore the friendship. Turning it down draws a line under a potential friendship - or certainly makes it less likely.

Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed · 02/12/2019 20:49

No was only the other friend going. No more people invited

OP posts:
Mummytea24 · 02/12/2019 20:50

I'd go and honestly it's more about your child and if they would like to go. They don't care that they were on the b list & it really doesn't matter

ffswhatnext · 02/12/2019 20:51

You are being unreasonable for using sloppy seconds.

Unusualsuspicion · 02/12/2019 20:52

Do you only go to events where you are the persons closest friend?! I have many friends, by definition none of them will always be 'first choice'! If I got an invite in this situation I'd be pleased they had thought of me, not sniffy because I was 'second'. It ain't a competition.

Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed · 02/12/2019 20:53

Why does everyone hate that phrase? Its a perfectly normal turn of phrase in my parts???

OP posts:
Greysparkles · 02/12/2019 20:53

I don't understand this at all. Why wouldn't you go? Is she not to allowed to invite other people? Should she go alone so it's not so much fun for her child? Yes your not "first choice" but also you're a grown up and should surely be one in this situation

Darkstar4855 · 02/12/2019 20:54

You sound a bit precious tbh but if it bothers you that much then donโ€™t go.

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 02/12/2019 20:56

@Ibleedibreedibreaatfeed Sloppy seconds is a phrase used for... basically a woman who has sex twice in a row in a short space of time. The second man gets 'sloppy seconds' as the woman is already wet and, well, sloppy, from sex with the first man.

icemelting · 02/12/2019 20:56

You know what sloppy seconds means? Envy
It doesnโ€™t mean second best

SweetAsSpice · 02/12/2019 20:59

Yeah sloppy seconds is a grim as fuck phrase!

LampHat · 02/12/2019 21:00
JasonPollack · 02/12/2019 21:02

Ew for sloppy seconds, that does not mean what you think it does.

You're being petty about the invite, if you want to be better friends with her you should take it.

Raphael34 · 02/12/2019 21:03


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