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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by extravagant elves?

270 replies

dontcallmeduck · 02/12/2019 16:02

My social media is full of joyous parents sharing the antics of their elves. All fine, I even partake myself.

But why are the elves now bringing Christmas pyjamas, selection boxes, gifts, teddies and even tickets to events? Surely this is going to cause endless confusion amongst children whose elves (if they even have one) don’t???

Why can’t those gifts come from the parents?

OP posts:
Original poster
dontcallmeduck · 02/12/2019 22:41

And your right it is about the kids being happy, but they’re happy whether it’s off me or Santa so I’d rather it be off me to avoid another child wondering why not them.

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 22:45

It’s the inequity when Santa can’t bring it to all children. Why do your children deserve it off Santa but Jack who has a single disabled mother living off her PIP payment in London barely gets a Spider-Man figure off him.

This is an issue with the Santa myth rather than the elf.

Personally we don’t go overboard with Santa. Mostly because DH physically restrains me.

Original poster
dontcallmeduck · 02/12/2019 22:55

But the elves in some homes are bringing gifts. £100 show tickets, matching family pyjamas, 2 chocolate and 1 Lego advent calendar and a new teddy I spotted on one parents Facebook this weekend. All from the elf.

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 23:00

But the elves in some homes are bringing gifts.

Not in my house they aren’t!

Pipandmum · 02/12/2019 23:00

I only know one person who does the elf thing - I'd never heard of it before. Hers just does fun things and gives chores (go help at local X for two hours this week). She wanted her kids to understand Christmas isn't just about getting it's about giving. Her kids are 13 and 16 now and she's still at it.

Original poster
dontcallmeduck · 02/12/2019 23:02

In most homes the elves aren’t doing the extravagant gifts. But this thread is about the ones doing extravagant gifts. Not ordinary mischievous, free fun loving elves.

God I sound weird.

OP posts:
StarClaws · 02/12/2019 23:09

Delete social media

Nojustyou · 02/12/2019 23:10

It’s the inequity when Santa can’t bring it to all children

Santa's magic can only get so far, and when children are little enough to believe, they are too little to boast and compare the price of things.
Up to us to make sure they are not disappointed.

Frankola · 02/12/2019 23:12

In all honesty I feel like most Elf's are only done to boast on social media rather than for the benefit of the kids involved.

We've never bought in to it, it's way too much work for me to bother finding something "naughty" for it to do each night.

I also dont get what the point is of the elf doing naughty stuff? What is that meant to teach kids? I genuinely don't understand the whole thing?

Each to their own. It's just not for me.

minipie · 02/12/2019 23:13

when children are little enough to believe, they are too little to boast and compare the price of things.

Yes I was thinking this. DD is 7 and has just hit the age of comparing herself against friends. She’s also hit the age of starting to question Santa... So I think it’s a pretty short time where you’d have a child still believing whilst also wondering why their friends get more.

LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 23:17

But this thread is about the ones doing extravagant gifts.

There are always going to be people who take things further than others would like. You just have to deal with it.

DS wouldn’t give a shit though. He has zero interest in pjs and wouldn’t know an expensive event from a cheap one.

He loves waking up and finding the elf. He thinks it’s great when the elf does something naughty (which is, in reality, super tame Grin)

LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 23:18

In all honesty I feel like most Elf's are only done to boast on social media rather than for the benefit of the kids involved.

We’ve been over this Hmm

StarClaws · 02/12/2019 23:26

I also dont get what the point is of the elf doing naughty stuff? What is that meant to teach kids? I genuinely don't understand the whole thing?

I've only ever even heard of these elves on MN, never known anyone who has one, but surely this is quite easy to get? It's not supposed to teach them anything, it's just supposed to be a bit of fun! Kid wakes up, sees the elf doing something silly, laughs. Simple.

Icecreamsoda99 · 02/12/2019 23:28

@tashakg89 you change the bedding when they are in bed? How do you manage to change the pillowcases without waking them, I'm impressed!

7Days · 02/12/2019 23:43

People here are acting like it's the mums getting jealous of each other on social media.
No, it's because the mums know what's on sm will be boasted about in the playground and the kids will compare themselves.

Expectations spiral and not everyone can keep up.

GreenTulips · 02/12/2019 23:50

I did once think about doing a parody elf account making rude elf antics.....that'd be quite funny

This already exists (poor Barbie)

sweetkitty · 03/12/2019 00:02

Our elf brought a wee chocolate bar on Sunday for each of the DCs. When he leaves he will leave new PJs (not matching) which they need anyway and another wee bit of chocolate, none of his antics will be on social media.

One friend posted a photo of her 2 year old with 3 advent calendars yesterday. Another’s elf brought New York holiday tickets. Tonight my elf had gone on a date with the fairy.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 03/12/2019 09:43

I put my elves on my social media, if you don't like it, don't look at it.

It's the only way I can remember what they've been up to in the previous years. I don't remember, but my kids sure do Grin

GunpowderGelatine · 03/12/2019 15:21

I've only ever even heard of these elves on MN, never known anyone who has one, but surely this is quite easy to get? It's not supposed to teach them anything, it's just supposed to be a bit of fun! Kid wakes up, sees the elf doing something silly, laughs. Simple.

Not everything has to be a life lesson. Some things are just for fun

nuxe1984 · 03/12/2019 18:10

This is just commercialism. With Christmas just 3 weeks away surely there's no need for anyone to have any extra gifts …

Camomila · 03/12/2019 18:21

I tell DS Father Christmas only has room in his sledge for 1 present per child and the rest are from parents - that way I can explain why its good to donate. I don't think he's at the comparing stage yet anyway.

He's not heard of the elf yet! I wanted to do a reverse advent calender this year but I'm not sure he'd understand yet (He's nearly 4)

Whattodoabout · 03/12/2019 18:26

I have been doing the EOTS for about seven years now so way before it became mainstream and popular, nobody I knew had even heard of it when I started it. He always brings them a few gifts on the first of December (nothing extravagant, usually just Christmas themed books, some body wash, perhaps a Christmas pen and hair clips). Then the elf leaves on Christmas Eve and leaves the Christmas Eve gifts as a goodbye present.

I have always done this and don’t put it all over social media, it’s just one of our traditions.

Ellyess · 03/12/2019 18:27

Can somebody just tell me what this is about? What are all these elves doing? Where did they come from? I've never heard of them. Do you have the same one living with you? What does it do? It sounds a bit creepy. Aren't the elves meant to be with Father Christmas at the North Pole, working hard helping him in this extremely pressurised time?
I feel left out. I haven't got an elf.

Wintersleep · 03/12/2019 18:35

@Ellyess we don't have one and won't get one, I'm very attached to my Christmas traditions from my own childhood and stubbornly refuse to deviate from that with my own child. DD hasn't asked for one either.

But they're little soft doll elves and parents move them in the night to make the children believe they're real. The idea is the elf comes before Christmas to give reports back to santa about the children's behaviour, most people use the same one each year as I think they all look the same?
Then parents take pictures of what they've done with the elves and for some reason unbeknownst to the test of us, post them on social media. Things like making snow angels in sugar or flour, doing naughty things like making a mess and apparently now bringing gifts. Google elf on the shelf and it'll come up

CrowleysBentley · 03/12/2019 18:40

Christmas eve boxes are not really a new thing though. My mum used to give us pyjamas, a mug for hot chocolate and a Christmas book on Christmas eve, and I'm 43! I did the same for my kids, in fact I still do the pyjamas and mug and they're 19 and 21 now Blush