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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by extravagant elves?

270 replies

dontcallmeduck · 02/12/2019 16:02

My social media is full of joyous parents sharing the antics of their elves. All fine, I even partake myself.

But why are the elves now bringing Christmas pyjamas, selection boxes, gifts, teddies and even tickets to events? Surely this is going to cause endless confusion amongst children whose elves (if they even have one) don’t???

Why can’t those gifts come from the parents?

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 16:57

Just like with Santa, you can do the surveillance thing. Or not.

We don’t. None of my friends do either.

minipie · 02/12/2019 16:57

I used to be anti elf but my children were asking why Santa didn’t send them one so we joined in.

And now you’re worried that your children will ask why other elves bring stuff and theirs doesn’t.

What happens when they realise some of their friends get more/more expensive Christmas or birthday gifts?

At some point your DC will have to realise that not everyone gets the same. Some kids get more than them, some (many) get less. It’s not an easy conversation to have but it’s the right solution, rather than berating other parents for giving their kids more than you do.

Seriouslyconfused3 · 02/12/2019 16:59

I hate the fucking elf! I’ve been guilted into it though because apparently “everyone at school has an elf...” he pretty much just moved around the house tho, maybe will bring a Christmas book at some point but nothing exciting.

I also (bah humbug) am rejecting Christmas pyjamas this year- still all getting pjs but just nice ones nothing festive. I dislike the Xmas jumper thing too- it’s just so wasteful (but I conform as I don’t want the dc to feel left out).

Santa brings all presents tho- I get the issues with this but it just seems the done thing where we live

Passthecherrycoke · 02/12/2019 17:00

@00100001 but when you leave the house you are actually being surveyed all the time... you’re not creeped out by that but you are creeped out PRETENDING that a cuddly toy is watching your children to report back to Santa?

Yep, that’s pathetic 🤣

Basecamp65 · 02/12/2019 17:00

Now I am wondering about my choice of friends - no one I know has ever done Xmas Eve boxes or the Elf!!

KindnessCrusader · 02/12/2019 17:02

@Hullygully you're coming across as trying to be really cool by not 'understanding' what these things are. Even if you don't LIKE these things or participate in them I don't believe for one second you don't know what they are Hmm

Jellybeansincognito · 02/12/2019 17:04

It’s boasting.
We don’t do elf on the shelf at all, probably cause we’re not boasters 😅

KindnessCrusader · 02/12/2019 17:04

I don’t do matching pjs. I do other stuff. I feel no pressure and neither do I piss on other people’s choices.

I don’t find this to be terribly difficult.*

^ This x10000000!

LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 17:05

We don’t do elf on the shelf at all, probably cause we’re not boasters

What a weird comment Confused

00100001 · 02/12/2019 17:05

@Passthecherrycoke

I think it's a bit creepy that someone would encourage the idea that an inanimate object is constantly monitoring their child's behaviour.

Makes me pathetic?

Fine.

But it is a bit creepy.

lauryloo · 02/12/2019 17:07

so glad i didn't bother with this! Looks like too much expense and time!

Jellybeansincognito · 02/12/2019 17:07

Is it?
People who do elf on the shelf are a bit like vegans.

Everyone else has to know about it.

reginafelangee · 02/12/2019 17:08

We don't elf or Christmas boxes. Neither are really a thing either where I live or among my fb friends.

Just be confident in your own Christmas traditions.

Itsrebekahvardysaccount · 02/12/2019 17:09

@Jellybeansincognito haha so bloody true!! They can’t just do it and have their kids enjoy it. They have to post it all over SM.

autumnnightsaredrawingin · 02/12/2019 17:09

We don’t do the elf, and Santa doesn’t bring big presents only little stuff. I think the whole thing has become really over the top to be honest.

LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 17:10

I think it's a bit creepy that someone would encourage the idea that an inanimate object is constantly monitoring their child's behaviour.

Lots of ppl do EOTS without that

So ... ?

OneForMeToo · 02/12/2019 17:10

Not a picture of my elf on my social media. I don’t think any of the school mums or family know about it either. Mine just sometimes sits in the tree/on the tv/hang from the light. Sometimes little notes are left to remind them it’s X days or to make sure they stay on the nice list. Elf leaves and Christmas Eve box appears.

LaurieMarlow · 02/12/2019 17:10

They can’t just do it and have their kids enjoy it. They have to post it all over SM.

And what about the people who do it and don’t put it on SM???

GoKartMozart · 02/12/2019 17:12

I bought one a few years ago in Poundland. Kids are adults but its great fun moving it around DH's favourite chair where it stares at him intently for a month.
He doesn't like it. 😂

Jellybeansincognito · 02/12/2019 17:13

They’re in the minority @LaurieMarlow

Itsrebekahvardysaccount · 02/12/2019 17:13

It’s blatantly obvious there won’t be many that do all the OTT stuff with it and NOT put it on SM ... that’s kind of the point of my post!!!

minipie · 02/12/2019 17:13

I don’t do social media, I find this helps A LOT. With everything.

MutedUser · 02/12/2019 17:13

Yes one tin of shaving foam isn’t the cause of the state of the planet . But neither is one plastic carrier bag. It’s just inconsiderate and wasteful.

1forAll74 · 02/12/2019 17:14

Children will not miss out on anything if you don't do all these stupid Elves, and the rest of all this Christmas malarkey stuff. If you think that children will be upset, by seeing others that do it,and get more presents etc, well,that is an issue to be sorted out by the parents.

BlueOooChristmas · 02/12/2019 17:14

We do EotS, although he doesn't arrive until the tree goes up, so he'll probably get here this weekend. Wink He doesn't bring gifts other than the Christmas Eve box, and we frame that as a thank you for us letting him stay.

Honestly I always find these kind of threads a bit baffling. I got significantly better at making up complete BS answers about Santa, elves and flying reindeer when I had kids.

For example stood in the school yard last week a classmate of my DD (7) was listing off everything she'd asked Santa for (her poor mother is going to be broke!). My daughter listened and then said "we only ask for three things and they are just ideas" then said what she put down in her letter. This morning she finally asked me about it and I just told her that we're very lucky and so we don't need to send a long list to Santa, he already knows we all buy for each other too.

If an Elf brings some kid a panto ticket you just say something like "their Elf must know they needed it, we're very lucky and our Elf knows that". It's all about how you frame the answer in my opinion. If they ask much more than that perhaps that's the start of them working it all out.