....to think that going on UC would be better than going back after maternity leave?

[TheDelorean81]

Long time lurker but this is my first post so please be nice to me :)

Basically I don’t know what to do. My little boy is two months old and I’ve starting to look at what will happen when I go back to work next spring. After costing up childcare in the area I’m in I’d basically be paying to go back! We’d lose my entire income from the family pot.

My partner works different shifts each week so finding a different job to work around his so we can share childcare is out of the question.

My question is this. Would I be unreasonable to go on Universal Credit for a year (ish) until the free childcare element kicks in and I can afford it? Or until my partner can find a better job to support us? Or until I can find a better job that works? My family and my partners family are all saying I should (they’re all very high earners and reckon I’m should make use some of their taxes....not sure what to say to that!), but I just feel that it’s not what benefits are there for?

But in the same vein I’m struggling to see another option.

Anyone else here with personal experience?

Also as a side note....can I just say how much I LOVE reading about other people on benefits on Mumsnet.

One poster here in AIBU asked if she should report a member of her family for commiting benefit fraud. She's getting absolutely flamed!!! How is it okay to commit fraud, but not okay to use what you're entitled to - honestly obtained - for a year so that you can be at home with your child meanwhile training to get back in to workforce?

Absolute madness.

But you're not entitled to it, that's the whole point. You're purposefully changing your circumstances to claim them.

She's entitled to leave her current job and claim UC. Get over it.

OP is entitled to it, if she has decided to leave her job. That is what the DWP says, no matter how many people on MN try and argue it. End of story.

Thank you @Janaih and @Waxonwaxoff0

Of course staying at home is easier than commuting, having possibly (probably) a stressful job and then coming home to raise your children (despite them being in childcare) and manage your home.
I absolutely resent paying for other peoples choices. I don't resent helping people in genuine need, we should help these people more (not you).

The two are not comparable in terms of "difficulty". Too many variables.
Do what works for you, and don't let your own issues with your situation take cheap shots at other parents doing what works for them.

It depends on your job whether it’s easier at home or not. Usually at work I don’t get a hot drink all day, no lunch and no toilet breaks. At home they might not be at the right time but I get those. I also work my 8 hour days and RAISE my own children. Totally fed up of people saying working mothers don’t. Of course we do!!!!

I think with a 2 month old baby it's a bit soon to make this decision. At this point it's quite a leap of imagination to think of him running round, socialising etc. It a year though it will be very different, you may be happy to go to work and have more adult time, why not try to get promoted and make a better life?

What is the point of the thread at this point. For OP to gloat and grin at those agreeing with her. What was the point of posting here if you already knew what you were going to do? Genuine question because many people have told you yabu and you have ignored them.

Anyway enjoy living on UC, I’m sure it’s a much better decision for you than to further your career or try and do something useful for the economy. I’m not wasting any more of my time on this thread.

I think the ‘new career’ was dreamt up in order to deflect from the UC claim and as for the ‘paying others to raise my kids stuff’, be thankful some parents are willing to work the next time you need a dentist, doctor, teacher etc

Also you claim all of your family are high earners and have all said you should take their share of tax? Really? How much do they all earn as ‘high earner’ is relative and do they have kids? You’ll probably find their net contribution isn’t that high or non existent. Many many people over estimate how much they contribute and underestimate their cradle to grave cost.

Regardless of the politics, I would be wary of giving up work, OP. Every single person I know who has (many) has found it difficult to get back into work 1, 2, 3...5, 10 years later. Paying for childcare is short term, it passes quickly.

Nobody is paying for 'other people's choices'. We are all paying for everyone to have the same choice.

I think what you mean is that you resent paying for someone to make a different choice from you at the same stage of life. OP could be paying for you before your time is up.

@strawberrieshortcake how is spending time on re-retraining to change my career (and work in a job I hate in order to not stay on benefits)....and eventually pay more tax....being useless?

I haven't replied to most of those saying IAMBU because they generally weren't being particularly polite....mostly downright rude. I'm not going to go out of my way to address those who are only going to insult me.

@flowerpot6 thank you...I'm actually going to be going into a job similar to one I had in my twenties, soon as I've re-done my qualifications to allow me to work. So won't be out of the work force for too long :)

This place is crazy sometimes! Do whatever works best for you, you don't need anyone's permission. I was a sahm for a few years on tax credits, we were skint but it was the best thing for my family, now I work full time and pay tax. No one's tax bill went down when I started work

@FoxFoxSierra I honestly don’t know why people post their dilemmas here anymore, never read do much bollocks in one place.

There isn’t a pot of money we all dip in and out of. The money doesn’t actually exist.

And I have never found it hard getting back into work after 5 year breaks, even a couple of 1 year breaks again a huge myth. If you’re good at your job .... most areas have huge skill shortages at the moment

I just wanted to answer your question and say that for me, personally, being a SAHM is incalculably easier than working. I have a fairly challenging toddler, very active and very inquisitive but 1) I like spending time with him so it’s a pleasure 2) reading spot the dog 2000 times a day isn’t always fascinating but it’s certainly not hard 3) I can nap when I’m very tired if need be (although a bit tricky as I also need to walk my spaniel and DS screams in the buggy so need to time walk with a nap) 4) I can sit in my pyjamas all day if I want to (I don’t because if I didn’t get out of the house daily we would be bored) 5) I can do fun activities eg visit the farm, baby theatre etc

On what world is that the same as a shitty commute, especially in winter, and having to actually do work all day?!?!

Being a SAHM is very valuable IMO, but let’s not pretend it’s difficult....even doing it “properly”, which I flatter myself I do (eg not sitting on your arse watching cartoons all day)

I didn't find it difficult to get back into work either after having 4 years off. I think it depends what job you do. In my case my employers actually wanted to give the job to a mother with young children as it's flexible hours and they wanted to give someone a chance to get back in the workplace.

When my older children were small I did not work, I’d got pregnant at college so didn’t have a job to go back to, I looked at working but having a 17 month gap I’d be paying out more in childcare fees than I had the potential to earn. We were on a very low income so received tax credits.

To the early poster who said something along the lines of you shouldn’t be claiming benefits to get the “luxury of being a SAHM”. Hilarious. Have you tried being on such a low income that you can’t do anything fun with your children because you can’t afford it? We literally had no choice about me being a SAHM. It was definitely not a luxury!

When my children went to school I went to uni and did a degree. I had many years of not working and managed to find a term time local authority job after uni. I think lots of employers now understand that some mums have a few years off while their children are small.

Well done OP for responding very reasonably to those trying to bait you. You have every right and every entitlement to take 3 years looking after your child .... for all those saying different, just have a look at the UC regulations. And as a minimum wage earner you will lose nothing by stepping out of the job market for that short period of time, especially as you are using it as an opportunity to update qualifications.
I am more than happy that my taxes could be used to help support parents of babies and toddlers to stay with them (up to a maximum of 2 - any more would be unreasonable except in certain circumstances).
Fwiw, the vast majority of tax payers do not even fund their own use of state resources over a life time. It's the super-rich who are funding the op's lifestyle.

bleurgh id rather be at work than a FT maid/slave to my children