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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids?

94 replies

SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 13:50

Aibu to not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids and post on fb?

We have a v busy life, working ft, dh on shifts and kids numerous activities and parties etc. On the odd time we have a spare Sunday we just laze around. According to my sister they do a day trip without fail every Sunday and have a family day cos the kids will be bored. Aibu? 😩 I need the odd rest day.

OP posts:
SuperPixie247 · 01/12/2019 13:55

YANBU

Stick a film on and let them lounge out.

CherryBathBomb · 01/12/2019 14:00

YANBU
Kids have busy lives too, Sundays are a day to unwind-maybe a trip to the park if I've got any energy Smile

Besidesthepoint · 01/12/2019 14:02

I believe that being bored once in a while is good for children. It breeds creativity and teaches them to amuse themselves instead of being entertained the whole time.

YouJustDoYou · 01/12/2019 14:02

I just can't face it most of the time

Bluerussian · 01/12/2019 14:02

You're not at all unreasonable. Day trips and outings are great but few people do them all the time, it's fun just being at home and children can have visitors or go visiting friends.

Facebook is a pain, glad I don't participate.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 01/12/2019 14:03

Nah, we don't do them every weekend and certainly not on a Sunday. Sundays are made for being lazy.

Simkin · 01/12/2019 14:03

No yanbu but neither is she. She didn't say you have to. Perhaps she likes day trips. You don't have to like them or do them.

Loyaultemelie · 01/12/2019 14:08

Mine are currently on a "hunt" round our yard designed by the eldest. They are counting tractors, coloured of kittens, flower pots and various other things. They haven't brushed their hair and lounged about watching tv and opening advent calendars this morning. They are quite happy just messing around at home today with no pressure.
Meanwhile Dh is snoring while I snuggle the cat (who is also snoring) and MN. Bliss

sarahC40 · 01/12/2019 14:11

I think it’s critical for children to rest and be bored - it breeds creativity and self-reliance and encourages them to entertain themselves. They might even pick up a bloody book (as a secondary teacher, I would really love my year 7 classes to have more than four or five kids (out of 32) raise their hands when I ask them if they read regularly.

itsgettingweird · 01/12/2019 14:13

Yanbu.

My ds is a competitive swimmer and I work FT and he's in school.
I actually plan to do nothing on those odd days when the colander is blank.
Sometimes well pop out for a coffee or to run an errand but it's always because we want to go out and not because we have to!

Original poster
SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 14:17

Yeah she never let's them have a rest day and every weekend is full of activities and day trips. We are very busy but the odd free day I now spend chilling at home! I think kids need to rest/play too. Not just me then.

OP posts:
Sleepyblueocean · 01/12/2019 14:18

Ds's entertainment options are limited due to learning difficulties so we go out somewhere everyday unless he is unwell. Not usually anything fancy - a walk in the woods, a playground or a cafe.
He's not good with lazy days.

HeyMissyYouSoFine · 01/12/2019 14:19

According to my sister they do a day trip without fail every Sunday and have a family day cos the kids will be bored.

Unless she saying you should be doing the same I don't see the issue.

We've done periods where we did a lot often one day at weekend usually Saturday otherwise entrie weekend could end up being DH getting roped into extra work and the kids homework could easily expand to fit the entire weekend. If we did something on Saturday if felt like we had some family time and a break. We also had lots to do on doorstep for little money and kids were better behaved out and about.

As they've got older that's changed, DH got better at not working all the time, and the kids like quieter weekends.

Itsrebekahvardysaccount · 01/12/2019 14:19

100% with you on this. I honestly don’t know how people have the energy to be out of the house 7 days per week. I need a day at home to recharge, never mind the kids!

Lauriestory · 01/12/2019 14:20

Threads like this are frustrating. It’s ok if your sister wants to do that. It’s ok if you don’t. We’re all different Hmm

OhTheTastyNuts · 01/12/2019 14:20

My DSis does loads of days out with her DC. She freely admits it's because they are much easier to manage/better behaved when they are out and about.

We do a complete mix. I get a bit of cabin fever if I don't go out for at least part of the day. I hate the thought of a day spent in PJs!

user1374384 · 01/12/2019 14:21

We do go out every weekend but in contrast feel mine need to chill out after school. They have one or two after school clubs or music lessons at school, but ferrying them round to different things not at school is a recipe for disaster all round here, they need to chill out and play and watch TV after school.

When we stay at home, it isn't a relaxing day as you describe. The kids are wild, and fight, destroy the house and are very much like dogs desperate for a walk. We really must take them out or suffer the consequences. All my kids have SEN though. I'd love to have calm kids all playing cooperatively at home, and don't judge anyone who does that if it works for them.

DowntonCrabby · 01/12/2019 14:23

Let her get on with her life and you and your family do your own thing.

Charles11 · 01/12/2019 14:23

I love day trips but doing it every weekend would soon turn it into a chore rather than a pleasure for me.
I’m sure my dcs would be the same.
They’ve been relaxing, doing some chores and just generally spending time together and doing whatever they like at their own pace today.
We need recharging days like this.

Maybe your sister has a slower Saturday or they're just a more high energy family? Each to their own.

HeyMissyYouSoFine · 01/12/2019 14:24

Yeah she never let's them have a rest day and every weekend is full of activities and day trips. We are very busy but the odd free day I now spend chilling at home! I think kids need to rest/play too.

Some people and families thrive on always being busy - the balance is different in different famlies and in ours has changed over time.

Meruem · 01/12/2019 14:25

I'd be curious to know if keeping kids "busy" all the time makes them into those adults who go stir crazy if they have to spend a day indoors. I can happily walk into my house on a Friday and not leave it again until Monday Grin (I don't have young DC though). I think it's a good "skill" to be able to enjoy time at home. So many people feel they need to get out for the sake of it sometimes. I don't see the point. Fair enough if there's a purpose but I don't see anything wrong with relaxing at home.

Pinkblueberry · 01/12/2019 14:29

Family trips are lovely, but I don’t think children ‘need’ them weekly. I think being able to play independently with your toys/out in the garden/relaxing and enjoying a simple time at home is quite important too. In other words, I think children should be able to entertain themselves and organise they’re own fun from time to time - not expect some kind of activity to be organised and scheduled for them all the time.

frenchknitting · 01/12/2019 14:30

I'm going through a phase of enjoying lazy days at home, as the kids (5 & 2) are at a stage where they are fun to play with and have an attention span of longer than 30 seconds. A year ago, a weekend in the house would have seemed like hell, and so we had a day out every week. These thing come and go, I think.

namechangetheworld · 01/12/2019 14:30

I would go absolutely mad trapped in the house all day with a four year old and a baby (and DH!). The thought of spending a 'lazy day' in our PJs at home makes me shudder.

We always tend to get out for a bit of fresh air, even if it's just a walk to the park or around the village.

Neither of you is right or wrong though. (Except if you post on Facebook. Posting on Facebook is always wrong.)

Piixxiiee · 01/12/2019 14:31

Oh I hate the competitive fb posts! My kids have swimming etc after school and 3 yr old is tired after nursery so weekends we do something- park/shopping/cinema/ day out but it depends on kids and us- then one of the days we usually stay in and play, do washing for week etc... dont compete just look after your kids.