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AIBU?

To not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids?

94 replies

SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 13:50

Aibu to not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids and post on fb?

We have a v busy life, working ft, dh on shifts and kids numerous activities and parties etc. On the odd time we have a spare Sunday we just laze around. According to my sister they do a day trip without fail every Sunday and have a family day cos the kids will be bored. Aibu? 😩 I need the odd rest day.

OP posts:

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BritWifeinUSA · 01/12/2019 16:20

YANBU I don’t get this “requirement” some people have to be constantly doing structured activities. Sundays we usually laze around the house. I might do a bit of baking or I might not. We might watch a film or we might not. Might pick up a book. Might do a bit of art (husband, not me). We never make plans for Sunday unless we have visitors.

VisionQuest · 01/12/2019 16:20

Depends on age and temperament of child.

My 5 yr old is a handful if cooped up in the house all day. So we do a lot at weekends for both our sanity.

Not always extravagant trips, but we keep ourselves busy. Works for us.

recycledbottle · 01/12/2019 16:26

We like to do day trips and would do them most weekends. Didn't today and other than go out for lunch, have been housebound. Have spent most of it cleaning tbh or being reminded of jobs that need doing. Find going out more relaxing but each to their own.

egontoste · 01/12/2019 16:41

My memory of weekends is of occasional day trips out, but mostly spending time round the house and garden, or the park nearby.

Children need to learn how to occupy themselves and find things to do, and they won't if their days are full of organised activities.

Weekends at home are ideal for huge complicated Lego builds, or train sets all laid out, painting by numbers, model kits, making dens, marble runs, massive jigsaw puzzles etc. Or even, (gasp) reading a novel from cover to cover.

ThePolishWombat · 01/12/2019 16:43

YANBU.
I have 3 kids under 5, so a day trip out somewhere is like a military operation.
Most weekends DC1 who’s 4, is knackered from school, DC2 is happy that DC1 is home to play with all day and DC3 is still in the eat/poo/sleep/repeat phase.
A weekend at home in our PJs sounds way more enjoyable than a day trip that’s bound to be stressful for all involved

JoGose · 01/12/2019 16:45

YANBU, we spend most weekends in the house, sometimes we will go swimming or to the park but big dats out are rare

BlaueLagune · 01/12/2019 16:46

A weekend at home in our PJs sounds way more enjoyable than a day trip that’s bound to be stressful for all involved

Neither appeal to me. Hate PJs and dressing gowns, and don't like crowds so don't like going to places when they are busy.

Sitting down and reading a book from cover to cover is a good way to spend a few hours though.

Loveislandaddict · 01/12/2019 16:49

If kids are always entertained, they never learn how to be bored, or to occupy themselves.

Rainbowtheunicorn · 01/12/2019 16:50

I don’t think you should compare yourself to your sister.

I can’t spend a day at home with DD (16 months). We have to do something or she’s like a Tasmanian devil caught in a whirlwind.

I prefer to go out somewhere in the morning, have lunch then chill in the afternoons at weekends. It doesn’t usually last the whole day.

woogal · 01/12/2019 16:51

We used to do weekly trips plus park/soft play/clubs during the week.

It's just too much. I'll never forget my sons reaction when I said we were doing x at the weekend and he said muuuuum I just want to relax for once, why do we always have to do something.

He sat on his iPad all day and loved it.

Now trips are every so often and clubs have been cut right back.

SpaceCadet4000 · 01/12/2019 17:01

She's just different. TBH, I'd prefer to do a day trip 1 day of every weekend. I've always been that way. I don't mind boredom, but I feel I've made more of downtime if there's a balance between scheduled and unscheduled time. Boredom is good, but not if it makes you miserable.

Elbeagle · 01/12/2019 17:11

YANBU to stay at home.
She INBU to go out.
Unless she’s telling you how to spend your time, there is no issue.

ShinyGiratina · 01/12/2019 17:58

My DCs could think of nothing better than a whole weekend in Minecrafting. It ain't happening They need to get out and burn energy off at some point for everyone's sanity! That doesn't mean a big day out though. Yesterday one DS had a scouting activity and the other DS and DH were dropped off in a nearby village to walk home and burn some energy.

Normally we get good use out of our NT membership, plus there's a great living museum that is free for 12m after the initial fee that we use for fairly regular outings. Less so this year, partly due to the terrible weather, partly due to knuckling down on some DIY being a big distraction.

Time together is good. Time to relax is good. The balance on how much time is the right time to be in will vary from family to family and their means. Neither do outings have to be big expensive days out to be beneficial. My DCs favour opportunities to go a bit ferral with mud and sticks

SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 18:34

I just think she's putting too much pressure on herself. She's spending money she doesn't have and borrowing money off our parents because her dh thinks they have to be doing this every weekend. They just went on an expensive day out today and my mum gave her £200 yest to get her by as worried she isn't eating.

OP posts:

SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 18:34

She spent over £100 today on a day trip

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SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 18:35

They owe my parents thousands

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VisionQuest · 01/12/2019 18:36

What kinds of things are they doing?! It needn't be expensive, a trip to the park or local soft play is cheap.

£200 on a day out is ludicrous. Especially if they can't afford it and it's happening every weekend!

ThePolishWombat · 01/12/2019 19:16

Yeah....”borrowing” money to fund the days out that they can’t afford is ridiculous!
That’s also part of the reason we don’t do it often! Admission to the zoo for the 5 of us easily costs upwards £50 and that’s without lunch/extras on the day! We have to plan in advance and factor a day out into the budget! If we can’t afford it, we don’t go! Simple.

SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 19:25

They spent over £100 today seeing Santa. Obv an extravagent venue.

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imamearcat · 01/12/2019 20:03

I really struggle to spend a whole day in the house, especially with 2 little kids!

We tend to chill in the week after school but normally out and about at the weekend. I like them to do something a bit physical, preferably outdoors but mix it up. Walking, swimming, park, shops, soft play, trampoline park, farm, occasionally theme parks.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 01/12/2019 20:12

Well, the fact she's getting in debt for it is a pretty massive drip feed, isn't it?

I absolutely hate it if I have a day where I don't leave the house - it was the reason I didn't really like working from home, I used to go stir crazy if I was too busy to take a walk at lunch. I find a day with my toddler much, much more fun if we do at least one 'activity' out of the house. I find the idea of not getting dressed all day very depressing - I never feel like the day has started until I've showered. I don't think I'm superior to someone who does chill out PJ days at home, I just think we're different!

Bluerussian · 01/12/2019 20:13

I think if your parents are handing your sister so much money regularly they shouldn't talk about it. It really doesn't help for anyone else to know.

Your sister's husband seems to be the driving force behind all these extravagant outings - was he a deprived child and wants to make up for it with his own kids? Whatever, I imagine your sister is worn out by it all and could do with a day or two at home. If he wants to go out he should fund it.

Outings are treats, most people don't do a lot most weekends, they unwind, maybe see friends.

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CharityConundrum · 02/12/2019 09:02

Is this another thread where someone pretends to be 'oh so worried' about their perfectly normal parenting choice, while not-so-subtly putting down those who do things differently in the hope that others will come along and slag the others off to validate their choices?

HeyMissyYouSoFine · 02/12/2019 09:41

She's spending money she doesn't have and borrowing money off our parents because her dh thinks they have to be doing this every weekend.

Clearly that's not normal.

We've lived near local tourist places and sometime for slightly more or for gift aiding you can get a yearly pass or sometime there are a lot of free museums or galleries. I've had family assume days out we've done must be costing loads when in fact it's just the bus/train there or if walkable sometimes just the packed lunch we're paying out.

I don't think there's much you can do - your parents are chosing to lend/give the money - I expect if you say anything to them or her it will be you in the wrong.

ChilliMum · 02/12/2019 09:46

Yanbu, I had booked off half term and planned loads of day trips, visits to friends etc.. and then went down with a bad cold, sinus and throat infection and pretty much spent the entire week on the sofa with antibiotics, hot drinks and a blanket.

As I had no voice what so ever for 3 days the kids pretty much pleased themselves tv, iPads, xbox, reading, board games. They said it was the best half term ever

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