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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids?

94 replies

SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 13:50

Aibu to not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids and post on fb?

We have a v busy life, working ft, dh on shifts and kids numerous activities and parties etc. On the odd time we have a spare Sunday we just laze around. According to my sister they do a day trip without fail every Sunday and have a family day cos the kids will be bored. Aibu? 😩 I need the odd rest day.

OP posts:
GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 01/12/2019 14:33

Even when I was a full time SAHM when DC was small, we didn't do full-on trips every weekend, or week. Yes when DC was at the "needs to run and run so they will sleep" stage we did go out but it was local park, woods, beach, all free, just to get some fresh air and exercise.
DC more of a homebody than me and like a lazy day at home. I like to pop out even if just for a coffee and a wander but nothing major every weekend. Her schedule sounds exhausting but if it works for them, fine. I can understand the need if the kids bicker or squabble at home a lot and enjoy going out more. Maybe you and me just have more chilled out kids.

HeyMissyYouSoFine · 01/12/2019 14:49

I'd be curious to know if keeping kids "busy" all the time makes them into those adults who go stir crazy if they have to spend a day indoors.

So far not though not adults yet- but do they have self started craft projects on the go/ writing doing own art or one that doesn't as much reads and codes/plays on computer. They do less passive TV watching than my childhood.

My Uncle family were always busy as children - and they do seem to be very busy adults - often away, do lots of outdoor sports run many things when they visist always multiple things they are trying to fit in - I don't know if they go crazy as never really seen them in a house one entire day so I do wonder.

Instagrrr · 01/12/2019 14:51

A lot of it’s for show, you can burn off energy by going for a walk to the park or similar, doesn’t have to be grand gestures every spare moment

Geschwister4 · 01/12/2019 14:56

We do a lot of day trips in the summer (though not every week!) but wet winter weekends? Not so much fun. But YANBU for doing whatever feels right for you, your sister is NBU for ding the same for her.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 01/12/2019 15:00

I have never posted about our day trips (or anything else) on Facebook. So you are not unreasonable not to post about it.

DH and I both work full time. Very full lives. Just like yours. Generally, unless we are sick, we tend to have one specific out of the house activity each weekend; that I suppose you might call a ‘day trip’ (not always a full day though). I really enjoy getting out and doing something different (a walk in the woods, a film, pottery painting, swimming, a visit to a castle; so not major ‘theme park’ stuff, but still a specific activity). I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it though. You do sound a little bit sneery of your sister’s efforts; what she is doing sounds as though it works for them.

Bear2014 · 01/12/2019 15:08

We're quite 50/50 whether we're out for the day or just mostly in relaxing. Depends on mood, weather etc. We'd get bored doing nothing every Sunday but too many day trips are exhausting 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whiteroverbaby · 01/12/2019 15:11

Totally agree with you.

BlaueLagune · 01/12/2019 15:15

The thought of spending a 'lazy day' in our PJs at home makes me shudder

Lazy day fine. Wearing PJs all day, yuck.

I've never quite understood the notion of "family time" as weekends for us are usually made up of shopping, parkrun for me, athletics training for ds, homework, ironing, washing, washing up, cooking, etc etc. Day trips happen - well about once a year. Don't have the time or money to do something every week.

TravellingSpoon · 01/12/2019 15:16

Mu kids are a bit old for day trips now and how I rejoice. They always seem like a chore.

We are luckily we live in a really pretty area with nice parks and walks which we do, but the kids need chill time and so do I.

BlaueLagune · 01/12/2019 15:16

DS and DH went to the cinema yesterday afternoon, but that's not a "day out".

Going for an hour's walk isn't a day out for me, either.

Maybe I am misunderstandng other people's definition of a day trip and we do do them, after all.

TravellingSpoon · 01/12/2019 15:16

I agree about PJ's though. I feel icky if I stay in mine beyond 11am.

TravellingSpoon · 01/12/2019 15:17

Day trip = all day out, probably to a tourist attraction or theme park etc.

Snaleandthewhail · 01/12/2019 15:18

The more the children are out of the house... the tidier the house is.

We don’t do many day trips but at least once a weekend we get out all of us somewhere - between the park at the end of the road or more usually somewhere a drive away where we have a membership.

Oblomov19 · 01/12/2019 15:24

I agree. Gets on my nerves. Loads of people constantly post things they are making, places they go, days out with their kids.

This morning we all took Ds2 to football, and had something to eat on the way home as a treat. Now we are snuggled up on the sofa. Nothing worth posting!

rhubarbcrumbles · 01/12/2019 15:29

Neither of you are being unreasonable really, different families, different ways. I think I'd prefer a family day out to them spending all day on the xbox - with technology now I don't think they get bored.

SimonJT · 01/12/2019 15:32

I think days out should be a treat, we do have a general weekend routine, rugby tots on Saturday and swimming on Sunday morning followed by the park. But we have what I would consider a proper day out maybe once a month.

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of boredom, my son was a bit bored earlier and had a whinge, but now he’s happily playing (causing absolute chaos) with his duplo.

ChicCroissant · 01/12/2019 15:49

Now my DD is older she quite likes the odd day in at the weekend, although she has a set activity on a Saturday morning. When she was younger however, she'd want to be out doing something! It's probably more common with younger children to be out and about at the weekend.

But each family is different. DD had a friend that never went out much at all and was quite happy about it, so each to their own.

managedmis · 01/12/2019 15:51

YANBU

MerryDeath · 01/12/2019 15:57

don't worry about what you see on FB.. do what suits you. sometimes we go out and do things, sometimes we rake leaves in the garden then go inside and watch a film 🤷‍♀️

AJPTaylor · 01/12/2019 16:02

Oh I think it's horses for courses. I have a friend who get relatives to chip into annual passes for theme parks and similar. She takes her two out on dat trips at every opportunity. But she had a pretty poor childhood and literally never went anywhere. She gives her kids (and herself) the childhood she didn't have.

Knittedfairies · 01/12/2019 16:08

I think Sundays are for doing not much at all.
(Autocorrect is a gift that keeps on giving @itsgettingweird
'I actually plan to do nothing on those odd days when the colander is blank'... isn't that just a bowl?)

BeardedMum · 01/12/2019 16:09

We have always done something as a family on Sundays and still do now the children are teens. We do a day out somewhere in a London which is on our doorstep, go on a hike, national trust or head down to the beach for the day. We have busy lives and this is our day spending quality time together. Mine have never done many organised activities.
I think it’s important to spend family time doing something together.
I have never posted on Facebook though.

WorraLiberty · 01/12/2019 16:09

Why are you comparing yourself to you sister? Confused

I'm not sure what you're hoping to achieve here, other than perhaps hoping posters will put her down in some way?

You do yours and don't worry about what anyone else chooses to do.

Tumbleweed101 · 01/12/2019 16:12

My children often want to just hang out at home at the weekend unless something exceptionally fun is on the cards. They enjoy painting and reading and just watching movies. I have a busy week too so it’s nice to just hang out with them at home when we can.

Rubyroost · 01/12/2019 16:15

It's top cold for day trips at the moment! Saturdays me and my toddler go out shipping, which he does enjoy. Then Sundays we have a swim. Not a day trip, but as @namechangetheworld getting out somewhere is always nice, for a walk, going to the park etc. When the weather 8s nicer we will probably have longer outings