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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids?

94 replies

SalemShadow · 01/12/2019 13:50

Aibu to not feel the need to do constant day trips with the kids and post on fb?

We have a v busy life, working ft, dh on shifts and kids numerous activities and parties etc. On the odd time we have a spare Sunday we just laze around. According to my sister they do a day trip without fail every Sunday and have a family day cos the kids will be bored. Aibu? 😩 I need the odd rest day.

OP posts:

GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 02/12/2019 13:14

Just seen your update OP, that definitely colours things doesn't it! Why don't your parents query all these expensive trips spending their money rather than buying food for their GC? Are they scared of her husband or is she scared to stand up to his ridiculous demand to go out every weekend when they can't afford it?

Also, do your parents support you in the same way financially? I bet they don't and I would also feel rather peeved at such favouritism when it's down to showing off on FB rather than a real need (no one "needs" an expensive trip to see Santa. There's one in every shopping centre in the UK just about!)

Evilmorty · 02/12/2019 13:22

I am probably considered a day tripper person. Live in London, always so much to see and do and I want the kids to know it’s there and accessible and free. To encourage some get up and go, and for them not to be one of those adults who is afraid to go to places or “can’t be bothered”. Sometimes we just walk in the woods or parks.

I admit it is also for my own mental well-being because walking makes me calmer and I need to see the sky. If I’ve not been out all day I feel sad.

But she isn’t wrong and neither are you.

Simkin · 02/12/2019 13:46

I wish you'd just said 'I think my sister is spending too much on day trips' as your title, as I wouldn't have bothered to post on the thread. I thought YOU were looking for reassurance.

Whattodoabout · 02/12/2019 13:52

YANBU, it doesn’t suit your family or lifestyle so don’t do it. We try to go out most weekends to get some fresh air if nothing else.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 02/12/2019 13:56

I think your sister’s finances, including the financial arrangements between her and your parents, are none of your business. I get why it’s irksome but I also think you have to consciously decide to leave them to it - they’re all competent adults.

I think day trips are easier/more important for some families sometimes, and staying at home is easier/more important for some families sometimes. We are definitely in the daytrippy camp: my kids and I all feel better and more relaxed with plenty of fresh air and movement, and my view is that we work too hard (and too much indoors) all week, so if what makes us all feel better is getting out for the day on Sunday then that’s a good thing. My flat is not huge and has no outside space, and my children are fairly young - in a bigger house, with a garden, with older children, with less mess, maybe being at home would feel like the more pleasant option.

AG29 · 02/12/2019 13:57

I have been saying the same lately. I am 28 with two Dc myself but only yesterday I was saying to Oh that when I was a child (and him too) we watched films, did arts and crafts, read books, coloured, played in the garden or with the neighbour hood kids. We didn’t go out all the time. A day out would be a treat every so often!

We’d go and see Father Christmas at the locks garden centre but there are some downside and extravagant grottos these days.

These days there seems to be too much pressure to do things. I think like you say that’s because of social media and people posting photos.

Admittedly we do tend to go out at the weekend. DS has autism and is often up ridiculously early. If we don’t go out and do things he gets restless as he needs to burn some energy off. We all get stressed out too. Often it’s just a trip to the park or local skate park though. So YANBU.

NumberblockOne · 02/12/2019 14:08

We rarely do days out - most often only during school holidays/bank holidays. At weekends, DS has a swimming lesson on Saturdays after lunch. We might also go to the library or local shop in our village in the morning. Sundays we often go to the playground or something for an hour, but definitely not a whole day out. DS is 5 and in Y1, and need a plenty of time to relax at the weekends as he has a busy week. DD is 2, and aside from 2 nursery days spends most of the week at home. She could probably do with more entertainment, but a trip to the playground is usually sufficient. I work 4 days so I'm always knackered at the weekend is and have tons of jobs to do anyway!

Madaboutthem2 · 02/12/2019 14:14

We love lazy days. I cba half the time. DD is shattered with school. In the summer we go to a national trust play area alot but that's it.

This year we've had two weeks away by the coast.

A zoo trip

A farm trip

Cinema x2

That's it really. Probably ten or twelve times at the national trust place too. So in total about 15 weekend we did something.the rest we chill out.

Madaboutthem2 · 02/12/2019 14:18

P s I have a friend who can't stay home. She annoys me with it because she took her kids to a castle with chicken pox, her kid trick or treating the day after norovirus. She moans if her partner wants to stay home and do the garden etc. She's right with money though so she sometimes finds a random woods etc. It's alright and up to Her but sometimes I think let your kids chill out at home! Her eldest is quite bratty in the holidays and she has to have stuff lined up everyday for her. I love a Go d old pj day x

AwkwardFucker · 02/12/2019 14:21

We haven’t done day trips in ages. But my kids teens/preteens. They prefer to spend their weekends with their friends or lazing about in bed. Pretty sure they would rather die than go to the zoo with their parents on a Sunday.

Tvstar · 02/12/2019 14:25

Not every week, but it is important toake memories as a family

Pinkblueberry · 04/12/2019 06:39

it is important to make memories

You mean take pictures to post on social media...

Peignoir · 04/12/2019 06:45

Facebook? Utter nonsense. I refuse to use it after finding a picture of my family on another popular website.

No, you're not being unreasonable. You all lead busy lives, so it's important to rest. Planning day trips every weekend would become quite tiresome and expensive?

Sparklybaublefest · 04/12/2019 06:48

I always had cabin fever, and no, when mine were younger there was no facebook/photos

FusionChefGeoff · 04/12/2019 07:10

I see this with DH - he finds it quite hard to relax at home if the kids are around as hes very black and white. So he can relax himself eg iPad / TV but that means he switches off parenting all together and gets disproportionately annoyed if kids are in his space / asking questions!

There isn't really any activities at home that he enjoys doing with the kids eg board games / painting.

So for him, the answer to an empty day to avoid that, is to find something everyone enjoys which is generally an outdoor activity / day trip. He then switches back on to parenting and enjoys himself too.

The other reason is that if he's not in the house, he won't get drafted into jobs!

It works out quite well sometimes as he goes out and about with DC for several hours whilst I get shit done at home!!

Lavenderduck · 04/12/2019 07:33

My children are the same as @AwkwardFucker but my youngest DD (now tween) has always been more of a lazy homebody and still loves pyjamas days. Also, I have chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia so sometimes feel too achy to go out every weekend, my DH sometimes wants to potter and catch up with DIY jobs. We don't have a lot of money to splash out either.

However we tend to go out more to parks, go swimming, walks with family or beaches on holidays during sunny/drier/warmer days than lately.
At the moment, we like to watch lots of films, I do crafts and we browse around garden centres for Christmas markets/stuff and town for any excuse of yummy hot Christmas drinks .

My siblings in particular my older DD and their children seems to do a lot more than us to a point I think they don't know how to cope with boredom, but they have more energy and money to burn off than us. I cut down my children's activities as they grew older and got bored, and I used to feel guilty for not over planning their holidays/weekends but I thought sod it and chose what works best for all of us.

When we do go out for the day occasionally, it is always lovely to spend family time together. I'm thinking of joining NT but not sure if I can drag my eldest DD along as she takes forever to finish her homework (in between face timing her mates, sleepovers and playing with make up/skincare!🙄)

Allthepinkunicorns · 04/12/2019 07:35

My dh would be out every weekend if given the chance, I have to say no when I'm really tired or ds needs a rest. I think days out should be a treat, dh sees them as a way to get out the house as he can't sit still. It's tiring going out every weekend especially if I've had a busy week at work. Even ds 6 is now starting to decline days out.

Littlepond · 04/12/2019 07:36

I can’t afford constant days out!!

thepeopleversuswork · 04/12/2019 07:44

I actually would go bonkers stuck in the house all day. Being indoors all day with nothing to do makes me sweaty palmed with anxiety. But YANBU to want to do it and she is NBU not to want to do it. Live as you please.

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