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AIBU?

To want to help child with housing deposit?

134 replies

Lightsabre · 30/11/2019 14:14

Can I ask, if you had financial help with your deposit, how much or what % of the purchase you received. DH has conveniently forgotten his parents helped him on to the ladder with a 30% gift but this was many years ago when a house in the area he lived in cost £90K. Flats nearby in SE are circa £250K minimum now and I'd like to be able to gift ds 25% when the time comes (not for a few years yet and we'd need to save more/use some pension). He wants to spend the money travelling (of which we have been lucky enough to do a substantial amount in our late 20's and 30's) but I'd like to help our child as much as we can.
What have your experiences been?

OP posts:
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ssd · 01/12/2019 08:46

I don't have a pension but I'll be helping my kids by selling my house and downsizing to release equity. I don't mind being skint when I'm old as long as the kids can buy a flat.

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Chickydoo · 01/12/2019 08:49

I've budgeted 10k for each of my 4 children. I hope they can add to it. I haven't told them yet, although one will probably want to buy in a year or two.

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MillyMollie · 01/12/2019 09:03

SockseyThat's awful - utterly disgraceful and unfair- what your parents and sibling did to you.
Coukd you go down the legal route to get it back - plus interest - lots if interest !!!
Almost £100,000 fifteen years ago was worth an awful lot more than it's worth now. Think of the increase in value any property bought 15 years ago would have.
I'd definitely talk to a solicitor if it were me.
If it meant no relationship with your parents and your sibling I wouldn't care. What sort of horrible people are they ???

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ooooohbetty · 01/12/2019 09:04

Nothing from anyone. Also not a penny when either parent died. My children have bought their own homes with no financial help from us. Even if I'd had the money it wouldn't have occurred to me to give it to them.

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GOODCAT · 01/12/2019 09:11

Not strictly for a deposit but I did have help as I lived at home rent free while at uni and was given something like £3k and a car which my mum and dad had been saving for me when I left home after uni which gave me a major boost. I was and still am extremely grateful.

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FinallyHere · 01/12/2019 09:14

Like @CherryPavlova , I am very aware of how lucky I was to be helped.

Seeing how much interest the initial help I received would save me over the course of my existing mortgage, definitely spurred me on to pay off my mortgage early. As it happened, I moved and remortgaged again, but focused on paying that off in ten years, again saving thousands.

The help I received I consider as a loan to pass onto the next generations. My secret aim is to increase it, so that it keeps pace with the dramatic increase in house prices around here.

So long as I retain my health, and can continue to work, it may even be possible for me to do so. That feels like a better life that retiring very early on the proceeds.

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PlushPlush · 01/12/2019 09:25

We didn't get any financial help from our parents, but we have decent jobs and were able to save the £60k we needed in 2 years.

For DS I think I'd buy a property and allow him and his friend(s) to live it in for cheap rent. This will give him independence and the ability to save. I wouldn't just want to give him a large hand out as I don't think he'd learn anything from that. & I wouldn't want him to be still living at home in his 20s/30s either!

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oohnicevase · 01/12/2019 10:00

I got nothing even though my parents were rich , my sister got £20k because she was still at home when she was 30 and I think they wanted to help her move on .. still don't think it's fair though 🤷‍♀️

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8paws8legs · 01/12/2019 21:02

I don't think holidays are selfish I am looking forward to getting some of the freedom back as my children get older, yes I would help them with something, not sure if that would be deposit or perhaps helping with decorating/work for the house not anywhere near as much as some of these posts as at the minute were barely able to be saving anything but Lottelupin we have worked hard and also deserve a life, I wouldn't be helping so much that it meant my life was within 4 walls and living off beans and toast unless it was absolutely necessary.

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